First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Now is the time to look round for things to occupy her. Perhaps as I and others have said something to help other people. If she is any good at any of the sports how about offering to help coach youngsters. She needs to get a life away from the falseness of social media and if she can help someone along the way then it would help her confidence as I get the feeling that may be lacking a bit.

alt80

getmore4less said:

Used to be in your neck of the woods working in Derby living between Derby & Nott.

For years it was up sticks for 2 weeks Xmas/NY, go to the alps same resort every year.
We did the millennium out there.
Sometimes on my own as OH worked through the holidays.

Great bunch of regulars would turn up and you get to know how the place works, know the better places to stay and best places to eat and drink.

Got crazy some years coming off the mountain as it got dark, wasted from the long lunches then into an evening of even more drinking.

Kicked it into touch when the fitness was not up for it and the couple £k it was costing could fund other holidays.
Lost touch with the people but fancy going back just for a holiday one year. 

Haha you’re a dark horse mate, fair play. There I was under the impression you were the hoarder of money miser sort lol.

I avoid Derby as much as I can mate tbh it’s got really bad now.

ryanm8655 said:

Happy new year all!

@warby68 sorry to hear about the health and sleep woes, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last 18 months it is how important but unpredictable health can be. Thinking of you.

@alt80 hope you had a good new year. And while you can get numbers back it’s good that you have deleted anyway, it’s more symbolic but get what you mean...

Buying and not using, though you beat yourself up, is a real show of strength. I think you should be proud of that.

Look after yourself mate. Sounds like you need some rest and tlc. Been a crazy tough couple of weeks, even though the status quo is tough in itself. But you’ve got through it, you haven’t had a £2k blow out, you haven’t used drugs. That’s a show of strength.

Feel you on the alcohol. Haven’t formally signed up for dry jan but was planning to. So hanging though and the mate that’s helping me move tomorrow says he’s bringing beers...not seen him since my little blowout back in august or whenever it was...so feels like it would be rude not to. Will get back on the river runs though...

Thanks mate.

Yeah hope I never bother again, pleased I’ve chosen not to do it. Tbh I more or less regretted it the moment I put the call in but wound up paying up after having an overwhelming sense of probably dealing with someone I really don’t want to get on the wrong side of. 😆 Don’t want anything to do with the stuff anymore tbh.

Are you in your flat now? Ha re dry jan don’t blame you mate. 

alt80

ladyholly said:

Now is the time to look round for things to occupy her. Perhaps as I and others have said something to help other people. If she is any good at any of the sports how about offering to help coach youngsters. She needs to get a life away from the falseness of social media and if she can help someone along the way then it would help her confidence as I get the feeling that may be lacking a bit.

@ladyholly I 100 agree with you there. I’d much rather she spent her time in this way tbh.

Willowtree222

Lots of outdoor things can open in tier 4. I was surprised at how many. Golf, tennis, archery, shooting etc. 
That tennis place might be able to open if it has an outdoor court.
You sound so determined today with not funding that lifestyle anymore. 
Have a lovely evening. 

KxMx

Some on IG/FBMYT are open about what they do, bios have "If you have a product you think I'd like contact..." and the reviews are both positive and negative.

Others are very sneaky despite the rules and suspiciously love love love everything they promote! 

Sarahwithlove

alt80 said:

@Sarahwithlove yeah she could, tennis club literally a street or two away haha. Don’t think anything happening in Tier 4 though.

No but might be something for her to look into once it's been lifted. Is she a crafty person? Could she maybe learn a new skill or language? 

alt80

Just updated the balances 

-£450 from sale. 
Wife put up another £220 worth of stuff for sale. 

Jan-21	Balance
Barclaycard	£6,490.00
M&S	£2,245.00
Sainsburys	£6,650.00
MBNA	£11,410.00
	£26,795.00

My aim by balance reset 26th is to see the M&S under £2k. Everything sells I’ll have cleared it and made a massive dent in the BC balance but not holding my breath for that. Got much less angry about the sales taking time. It is what it is. Told wife (very) ambitious target is to be card free end of the year and making a dent into the RR balloon. She knows this is dependent on moving the BMW on February and finding a bit more to sell. 

Weird thing happened NYD lunch with in-laws on the zoom. FIL said for first time since he’s known me this christmas has been the first time he’s proud to call me his son-in-law. Never thought his approval mattered to me but actually felt a bit emotional probably just the angst between me and the in-laws going off a bit - nice to not have the conflict tbh. He also offered to pay for son’s ipad. I didn’t lose it just said thanks for the gesture and I’ve got it sorted. Hope next summer if we’re allowed out I won’t feel I need to exclude myself from her family’s get togethers. Tbh in a lot of ways they are the closest thing to family I have here would be a lot better if we could get on a bit better.

Thanks all. 

@Nicnak I am, want to get it !!!!!! off tbh and start living a lifestyle within my means. People on here right I’ve surrounded myself with the wrong sort of people for years now. Want to surround myself with more positive people and live a better life - not just money related. 

@KxMx agreed tbh I think my wife thinks they’d buy the stuff even if they weren’t advertising it because they ‘love the product’ haha.

@Sarahwithlove no not into crafts. She did say to me tonight she could maybe try doing something gym/ sports related not going to push her too much though right now. She’s still getting very upset generally.

katsu

It's amazing how being here helps us all change @alt80.  I've never regretted changing my thinking and my life.  I can't wait to read your 2021 year end update. I'm 11 years DF and I can't tell you how good the peace of mind is.

I think your wife finding some friends through fitness or volunteering sound a great idea. There are things she can do during these restrictions to prepare for that, to think about what she'd like to try etc.  Will be much better for your son to see that living a healthy life.  You are right not to push her whilst she's so really upset right now.

You are doing great and the experiences you are currently living are setting you up for a much happier life. It's already happening.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

getmore4less said:

Used to be in your neck of the woods working in Derby living between Derby & Nott.

For years it was up sticks for 2 weeks Xmas/NY, go to the alps same resort every year.
We did the millennium out there.
Sometimes on my own as OH worked through the holidays.

Great bunch of regulars would turn up and you get to know how the place works, know the better places to stay and best places to eat and drink.

Got crazy some years coming off the mountain as it got dark, wasted from the long lunches then into an evening of even more drinking.

Kicked it into touch when the fitness was not up for it and the couple £k it was costing could fund other holidays.
Lost touch with the people but fancy going back just for a holiday one year. 

Haha you’re a dark horse mate, fair play. There I was under the impression you were the hoarder of money miser sort lol.

I avoid Derby as much as I can mate tbh it’s got really bad now.

ryanm8655 said:

Happy new year all!

@warby68 sorry to hear about the health and sleep woes, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last 18 months it is how important but unpredictable health can be. Thinking of you.

@alt80 hope you had a good new year. And while you can get numbers back it’s good that you have deleted anyway, it’s more symbolic but get what you mean...

Buying and not using, though you beat yourself up, is a real show of strength. I think you should be proud of that.

Look after yourself mate. Sounds like you need some rest and tlc. Been a crazy tough couple of weeks, even though the status quo is tough in itself. But you’ve got through it, you haven’t had a £2k blow out, you haven’t used drugs. That’s a show of strength.

Feel you on the alcohol. Haven’t formally signed up for dry jan but was planning to. So hanging though and the mate that’s helping me move tomorrow says he’s bringing beers...not seen him since my little blowout back in august or whenever it was...so feels like it would be rude not to. Will get back on the river runs though...

Thanks mate.

Yeah hope I never bother again, pleased I’ve chosen not to do it. Tbh I more or less regretted it the moment I put the call in but wound up paying up after having an overwhelming sense of probably dealing with someone I really don’t want to get on the wrong side of. 😆 Don’t want anything to do with the stuff anymore tbh.

Are you in your flat now? Ha re dry jan don’t blame you mate. 

Good man. I got into the same position with booze to be honest. Time off helped me reevaluate whether the hangovers are worth it. They’re not ha. Get you on not wanting to mess people around My former best mate at school sells stuff and wouldn’t want to be dealing with the sorts he deals with

In the flat. It’s crazy. Mad location and can see the Thames if I hang out of the window Mad to think this place would probably cost £700k to buy

Loving it though, even have a walk in wardrobe, which was a nice surprise. Just need to find a girl to split the rent with

Dry jan never on the cards, best mate helped me move and ended up drinking a fair few! Nice to relax though will probably regret it tomorrow ha. Supposed to be meeting a mate for coffee at 10am, then another mate for beers at 12...man I’ve missed this place...

Tier 4 weird here...everything seems to be open but for takeaway, no wonder corona is spreading like wildfire. I’m literally next to tower bridge and it’s full of tourists...idiots...

Keep up the goals mate. Wish I’d set goals in my 20s, first time I’ve felt purpose. You’ll smash the M&S card in no time!

getmore4less

With £96k net income you are inside the top 2% getting close to the top 1%

2018 the 98% started at £84k
If you had £49k each you would each be in the top 10%
If you split it 3 ways(£33k) with the kid in the top 30%