First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

Sounds like your wife has turned a bit of a corner and hopefully staying off IG will help. 
Now she realises you are in the top 3% she might not be so critical on what you earn.
Have a good weekend. 

Sun_Addict

I will admit I go on IG but only follow local businesses or health/recipe sites. I follow the odd celebrity but none that endorse products or brag about their lifestyle. For instance Jenny and Lee from Gogglebox are funny to follow. I’ve managed to gain 14 followers although I’ve only ever posted once and that was a photo of my leg in plaster over a year ago 🤣 Your wife has made a good decision to quit IG for a while, she should unfollow those who made her feel inadequate if she goes back on. She sounds like she needs a confidence boost to stop her comparing herself to others and something constructive to do with her time.

RelievedSheff

Sun_Addict said:

I will admit I go on IG but only follow local businesses or health/recipe sites. I follow the odd celebrity but none that endorse products or brag about their lifestyle. For instance Jenny and Lee from Gogglebox are funny to follow. I’ve managed to gain 14 followers although I’ve only ever posted once and that was a photo of my leg in plaster over a year ago 🤣 Your wife has made a good decision to quit IG for a while, she should unfollow those who made her feel inadequate if she goes back on. She sounds like she needs a confidence boost to stop her comparing herself to others and something constructive to do with her time.

I agree with the wife needing something to do with her time. 

If she is enjoying selling things what about a small Ebay shop of some sort?

FootyFanDan

Firstly HNY to you and your family mate. It sounds like there seems to have been a switch turned on in wife's head regarding the IG, I think sometimes we look at IG as a way of life but sometimes can't separate the planned picture perfect moments against the actual reality. I think it would do your wife the world of good to step back a bit and give her a break and maybe when not comparing herself to other it could give her that confidence boost. 

Its good (despite the tears) that she has seen maybe it isn't actually the income that is the problem in the household, its how you have both contributed to the distribution of that income to supplement a lifestyle that you in your head told yourself you wanted and possibly IG told your wife she wanted. Whilst there needs to be a balance, at some point there needs to be a place you get to where you can have some of the lifestyle without the debt that follows...this is a process you are going through now. I think while London has the rep of been high flying the wages might be higher but I would think cost of living is higher. You earn an incredible amount and have done well to get to that place, I imagine (however inadvertantly) the wife saying income not enough would feed your inner never be enough demon.

I'm so glad to read even if temporary you have managed to get some sleep at last, hopefully that helps knock some of the stress away and makes you feel less crappy and long may it continue. Lastly I just wanted to say despite the ups and downs it is really commendable how you face each and every choice and day good or bad head on. You have made massive strides in such a short time mate and think you need to give yourself some credit for that. Here is to 2021 following your journey.

Onebrokelady

Your wife needs a reality check if she thinks you don't earn enough, i take home between less a month than you spend on variable spends, maybe she should try living on that frva couple of weeks 

getmore4less

Good news on the big sleeps. 

Wife needs a wake up, reality check.

influencers don't pay for stuff or portray real life. 

Not just IG anywhere people product place

Some serious lifestyle people are self funding but as soon as there is product placement they are living of freebees and some are getting paid.

If the wife is any good at what she has been doing then drop the closed group and rework the best of what's she has done to get the products sponsored.

As said really thick skin needed. 

I met a family on one of our holidays that are part of a group that blog on family friendly holidays, they have not paid for their multiple annual holiday for years.

If top 3% on income is causing her bother won't be too happy with the place on the wealthy chart. 

Even with your gearing on property you are well up there with both business. 

katsu

Top 3% sound right. I think your wife is very divorced from reality on how well you've done in life.

It is strange to realise how well you are doing, I do appreciate, as the very high earners earn so much much more, like football players or CEO of Tesco etc.

Hopefully you can find it helpful too, for you to realise where you are relative to the rest of the population.  

Maybe it will turn out to really help transform house your wife sees your life.

alt80

Thanks all. Need to do a proper update on here with the numbers etc. Sorry I’ve been bad for responding to posts too these past few days. 

Good day out with family today went chasing the snow in RR haha not really sure how far you’re meant to drive but we only stopped for a coffee break. I’m feeling better than I have in a long time tbh. Also had a kickabout in the garden absolutely !!!!!! freezing but good fun.

100 agree re influencers really don’t want wife going down that route one bit - she can’t take negativity at all. Her problem she doesn’t really look around her, just up seeing the IG lifestyle as reality. Will get her to have a look at the documentaries. She knows what a nail tech/ PT earns, knows a fair few from the courses she’s done but sort of blocks them from her comparisons iyswim. Likewise her family - parents/ siblings are all public sector type jobs, the 3 bed semi and a 320 types ha. I can’t deal with providing her IG dream any longer tbh. My own problem I think always wanting next level definitely been my biggest issue but also I’ve always been heavily leveraged in property since 21 and I think that’s influenced my attitude to personal finances tbh. Should know better etc I know. Suppose I’ve seen I could get say £100k worth of ‘stuff’ for £20k+fees and not really ever thought through what I’m buying in my personal life and differentiating between leveraged investment and stupid purchase on credit ha. Being on here def made me think a lot about the stupid stuff actually really thankful for questioning on the lifestyle stuff tbh made me think and focused the mind somewhat.

Tbh wife either with me for the ride or she can live IG on whatever she can earn, I’ve told her I can’t do it any longer. Spent long enough killing myself and feeling like I can never give her enough. Want to put business first, live within my means and put some more effort into getting some more units. Going to have a word with her about finding something else to fill her time with - she’s into sport (tennis/ netball/ football mainly) as well as general fitness and the IG stuff so possibly something she could do with that or something when the gyms open back up idk. Tbh I think she needs to find something other than IG - she agrees as she doesn’t really speak to ‘real people’. School people someone asked about tbh some of the other mums don’t work but mainly they do and they are mainly not really into lifestyle stuff, bit older than wife in years and def are in maturity ha.  

@FootyFanDan thanks mate, when I put my mind to getting on with something I usually do. Def want a new approach to personal finances.

Sarahwithlove

Does she have any sports clubs near her she could join to try and make some new sporty friends? 

alt80

@Sarahwithlove yeah she could, tennis club literally a street or two away haha. Don’t think anything happening in Tier 4 though.