First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

I work a full time job, still find time to keep a nice house and garden and get exercise with the dog and other half. Your wife doesn't know what busy is!

Sadly I don't think she will ever appreciate what she has until she is forced to earn the money that she spends.

At the beginning of your diary I genuinely thought that you were the major problem but actually I think it is the wife. She wants the fine things in life with zero effort from herself. Life doesn't work like that.

I hope you have a nice Christmas but things have to change in the new year.

ladyholly

I agree with the above. At one stage in my life I was working full time plus overtime, helping my daughter with her new baby, doing an open University degree, another university professional development course, running our home (husband has never done anything in the house) and helping my mother. Now that is busy. Fortunately it didn't last too long but I always worked almost entirely as full time even when daughter was a baby ( I actually returned to work part time when she was 10days old for a few weeks). The old saying if you want something done ask a busy person is true.
I think your wife needs something to occupy her other than her appearance or she may have real mental health problems as she ages. At 33 she is still very young but is she going to cope as she inevitably ages. 

Sun_Addict

I’ve always worked, full time to start off with, part time when my two kids were young to fit around school then back to full time when they were older. Plus run a house and go to the gym etc. I’ve always wanted the self esteem of earning my own money. I thought the wife not working thing was something that belonged to my mum’s generation, didn’t realise it was still going on. Your wife has been very lucky but she needs to rein in the spending or find herself a job. I hope you can enjoy your Christmas and find a way to move forward.

lostmyusername

I don’t think that continuing to rag on your wife will achieve anything. Sounds like you’ve made your mind up about how you’ll approach the overspend and I admire that. I think as long as you’re satisfied she’s not going to do it again without discussing with you, then that’s that and might as well move on. She has her lifestyle and as you say, she does a lot around the house. A woman isn’t any less a woman just because they choose not to work. 

I have to say I was a bit shocked at the suggestion of your wife becoming an IG influencer. From what I’ve read here, it would be a very very bad idea for her to go down that route. IG is toxic at the best of times and worse when you’re a little older (not that 33 is old by any stretch of the imagination) it is just a mental health drain. It would also exacerbate the need to keep up with the joneses. Dreadful. If she can quit IG completely, that would be much better, IMO. 

Willowtree222

Just read your latest post and wow. You felt that you were undeserving of your wife but that's not the case at all. You're worried she'll go off with someone else if you don't keep her in the lifestyle. 
If she does, then that's her shallow personality and nothing to do with you.
Teaching your son different cultures whilst being away is far better than a lavish holiday for IG pictures.
I think you don't give yourself enough credit for who you are and who you're trying to be. 
Merry Christmas. You're journey is going to be great this year if you keep on with this. I hope your wife is in board. 

ladyholly

Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy your family time. 

alt80

Anyone looking for a bit of a laugh tried the whole going to bed at a decent time after prepping kitchen this evening now awake and woke up realising I’ve not checked variable spends and tomorrow definitely no chance of spending happening FML. 

May as well update variable spends: £1540/1550. Made it. Now to get through next 6 months on £1250. Great. Always up for a challenge though I am ha.

Merry Christmas and big thanks for some good advice and helping with accountability/ staying on the straight and narrow (mainly). 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Anyone looking for a bit of a laugh tried the whole going to bed at a decent time after prepping kitchen this evening now awake and woke up realising I’ve not checked variable spends and tomorrow definitely no chance of spending happening FML. 

May as well update variable spends: £1540/1550. Made it. Now to get through next 6 months on £1250. Great. Always up for a challenge though I am ha.

Merry Christmas and big thanks for some good advice and helping with accountability/ staying on the straight and narrow (mainly). 

Admire you not losing your !!!!!!, I have to say. Would have been easy to fall off the wagon.

Have a good Christmas!

RelievedSheff

I hope you have a great family Christmas. 

Merry Christmas from the three of us 😀

enthusiasticsaver

Merry Christmas and enjoy your family day today. Well done on not losing your cool over your wife's spending and £1250 a month is fine for variable spends for three of you. Hope the PIL behave.