First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on the saving of apple subs. You could have shared them before probably. SIL shares his Apple Music sub with DD and me even though I don't live with him but can be done under family sharing. 

I read a preview of The Molecule of More (or dopamine book) and whilst interesting it doesn't really apply to me so I haven't downloaded it. I am glad you found it useful. Some of the things I read in the preview sounded so much like the things you were saying on here.

At the moment 100% of the profit on the BTLs is being used to pay off the card debt isn't it so splitting it 50/50 sounds like a good compromise? I can't see you wanting a much reduced lifestyle if you are struggling on £1500 disposable income even in lockdown. You also still need to save the RR balloon so you are a way off from being able to get into more leveraging for new deals. 

ryanm8655

Have to agree in terms of drawing a line under past wastage, I think you’ve learned your lesson. You’re not deluding yourself that it was fine.

I think about the same things sometimes...ok, I’m debt free but I would’ve had a house years ago had I not been in debt. Can imagine the same thoughts when I do buy a place...well I could’ve had two or massively paid off my mortgage. Not productive. 

Re: nights out, that’s your call and not one you need to make right now but I’d probably knock it on the head. Even hangovers take it out of me for a few days these days and I do find I regress e.g. eating crap and thinking sod it I’ll get a takeaway, so can see how it might lead to low energy/mood states where you’re looking for a pick me up afterwards, be that spending or other things.

Sarahwithlove

Give it time you may find your wife's attitude changes as well. Just look at the change in you in last few months. Otherwise come to some kind of compromise. At the moment you have 1500 and struggle with that so maybe once it's all cleared you still need to have a budget but a bit more flexible one. That will allow you to save money up for emergencies and maybe overpay your own mortgage. I know you are ok with it being there but I always go back to thinking how you would manage if you were to suddenly get ill and not be able to work anymore. Not having such a high mortgage payment over your head would certainly help. Can't see your wife going to work if you had to stop. 

alt80

I split BTL 50/50. Wife wants to keep it like that get some lifestyle back once RR paid for. Idk. Not sure whether the whole spending abstinence idea is wishful thinking, being depressed generally or applying counselling for one thing and equating to another. Still not in a great place tbh gp talked about putting me on the pills would rather not (yeah I see the irony too in my thinking ha but really not liking the idea of going on the drugs) but still like this new year might try. 

With debts gone inc RR keeping current income and reinvest any growth from both businesses, looking at our current £1550/m for variables (don’t really count as disposable income suppose technically is but still need to eat / petrol / bit of entertainment etc), current budgeted amounts for house/ car holidays/ Christmas/ birthdays etc etc and about £2800/m that would be truly disposable. Seems like a total pipe dream haha I’ve always been paying cards/ cars etc or lifestyle with money all gone and often more. Being mental about it can stick to budget post debt, save for a year and get a used Vantage for that lol. Probably feel minted if I weren’t in debt well until it wasn’t enough again lol.

Sleep was terrible last night again. More struggling to get to sleep in first place now, too many thoughts generally. Really hard for me to get through without the sleep, want to spend but same time never want to spend again, likewise with the stimulants - no !!!!!! wonder I’m craving a hit when over tired lol, jobs taking twice as long etc. On 6th 3 shot coffee of the day 100 doesn’t help I know. Keep telling myself carry on getting the professional help, one day might get myself sorted.

Wife tells me I need to get out of the analogue age and get an Apple Watch to track sleep ha last thing I need is something else to obsess over. Nagging me to buy one for fitness stats too FML don’t need to know what my heart rate is or percentage of oxygen or whatever so can rest assured my wallet isn’t coming out for that. She’s also got her eye on the new headphones they’ve brought out - never even uses headphones but another thing I would’ve bought for her because she mentions she likes them lol. Told her if she wants them can do some more nails and save or quit some treatment she’s having and save. Like having a second child when she gets on the Apple site FML will be telling her money doesn’t grow on trees next ha. Don’t even feel guilty tbh as she’ll hardly ever use the headphones (could be good for on the plane was her reasoning FML can’t even get on one right now and even when we can she’s got AirPods not to mention if she thinks we’re going on many holidays whilst paying this lot off she’s !!!!!! deluded). The headphones are £550 that we frankly don’t have to spend on something she’s not going to use. She still spends c£200/m on hair/ beauty stuff (paid for from her doing nails tbf so doesn’t bother me). Not going to make much more out of nails, she got an initial buzz from it but now it’s she’s got enough if I mention scaling up a bit. Just need to deal with it, she’s never going to have a drive for making money and she’s dealt with enough from me can’t expect her not to have flaws. Probably do need to get as many income producing units as I can tbh and working on proper succession planning or I’d be totally !!!!!! if I ever needed to rely on her earning lol.

Sarahwithlove

I agree if she wants something like that she needs to use her money from nails to buy them. Did I read that right you'll have over £2k disposable income after all debts? If that's the case then you could quite easily put half that away in savings or on paying extra off the mortgage or just take less and grow the business. If you get back into habit of spending it again every month and something unexpected comes up expense wise you'll just end up back in this cycle. I think you need to find a happy comprise. A good lifestyle without the extravagance you had before. If you want a holiday then save up for it. Maybe when you have paid all debts off you need to think about giving your wife a spending allowance from it so she can have some of the lifestyle back but not all of it? You are still a way off that at the moment so things might have changed by then in terms of her thinking. 

alt80

@Sarahwithlove the £2.8k is after I’ve paid all my debts off and if I could stick to current budget elsewhere eg not moving house etc, def don’t have that now, all going on debts (bmw, RR, cards). 

Cba with savings better off staying in business and buying more units. Likewise res home no point when I can keep as retained not be taxed as much and buy more property. Wife got it in her head we could pay this place off quickly and never move. Tbh worst happened, rental income easily covers mortgage/ bills even now if nothing retained so I really don’t see the point. 

Absolutely see your point about not ending back in the cycle- I’ve seen I can get out of that and 100 want to stay out of it. 

Not thinking too much about being debt free, it’s 3.5 years until RR balloon due- 3.5 years is my ambitious target to be debt free tbh, some may end up on directors loan/ cards to get RR paid but shouldn’t be too far over 4 years if I don’t meet my target.

warby68

I think your plans will change a few more times yet.
If you can't agree on something now, you can agree to park it for a while. You've a while to go to clear the cards and live to budget before you need a final decision on what to do with the money thereafter. No point having extra conflict about something that might be 3 or 4 years away when you have plenty on your plate as it is.

Willowtree222

You at least have a goal and a plan which is a way forward 
£550 for headphones for a plane? If she has to save up she might change her mind about wanting them. 
I agree about the Apple watch and you not needing it. If you did want something there's so many cheaper alternatives out there. I sold mine (another old apple lover!) And got a Fitbit versa. Does the same thing and 1/4 of the price. Doesn't sound like you're too assed about one though. 
She's probably wondering where the old you has gone! 
Sure you'll find the right compromise with everything. 
The months will fly by and you'll soon have more and more paid off. 

alt80

@warby68 yeah not really thinking too much about the post debt life. Cba with arguing about what to do with surplus income four years in the future lol.

@Nicnak yep she's been going into town, buying smaller stuff which is some of the reason we'll 100 burn through £1550/m in variable spends (food/ petrol alone doesn't come to that and entertainment low in lockdown too) - her spending not really changed tbh suppose fair enough, I'm the problem not her.

Even when I was spending very heavily I have never had any desire to buy an Apple Watch / similar. Don't get tech watches at all, though I do like decent tech generally - suppose my logic is not that into fitness I need to analyse performance / health stats I have 0 understanding of anyway and my watch will still be going long after I've gone, never lose value either. She has a nice watch too despite always wearing the Apple Watch even when we go out most of the time (obsessed with the stats). 100 don't get it - staff are mad for them too so know it's a 'me issue' rather than hers lol.

Yeah the numbers are coming down. Need to carry on that way, get it done. Nothing in the way of sales, can't remember if I mentioned it but another non-payer. 

Willowtree222

Perhaps you could also suggest she cuts back too. Yes, it's your spending in some ways, but you are a partnership as well. 
It is so much easier when you're both doing it and it'll reduce it quicker so you can get to where you want to be and the security she seems to want.