First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@Sun_Addict I know what you mean. Just could have been in a lot better position tbh.

Definitely agree re son. Glad it’s not taken me until his teenage years to have that wake up call.

@RelievedSheff ha definitely. Not going mad tbh - realised how much better I feel not drinking, getting old lol.

@getmore4less mate you’re basically saying I’ve bought a Range Rover that owes me £215k. FML that’s Bentayga money with some spec too. Yeah know it’s not like that and it is what it is. The refinance was only 20 months ago so not that long in the grand scheme of things. Prior to building the card debt that lead to the refinance, I had balances on cards but nothing like that.

Never been a saint with money granted and never had savings as such but was a lot more careful 20s/ early 30s looking back. Cars/ other spends always been a vice but def put property first those years. 

Started going a bit mad after move to current res home tbh and just got worse and worse. Added value but not massively, not gone through the full building site phase just overspent on kitchen fittings/ bathrooms and paint/ flooring throughout. Tbh think I just became deluded I’d make the money to move into a 7 fig place without the full building works etc going on in my own home. Was ready to not live in a complete project and wife never liked the flip projects when living in them wanted to settle with having son etc though developer side of me says I’ve 100 been an idiot for buying this place and the amount of money spent on kitchen/ bathroom fittings disgusted with myself when I put my developer hat on tbh - could have been in and out of about 2 maybe 3 in time I’ve been here and that’s with having a life. Not having bought and remortgaged once to pay for a £50k kitchen. Yeah I know, don’t need to be told how !!!!!! stupid that was and that kitchen could have been 2 in the portfolio. Yet another thing I’m not proud of. 100 would probably have something with end value of £1m by now and still at a decent LTV had I bought another flip rather than res home and kept going. Not knocking where I live, I do like it here but just been another opportunity I’ve thrown away. All hindsight I suppose could have all the PGs off the res BTLs, this house and probably better on the car front had I not been a !!!!!!. No idea how I could find a way to make peace with all the stupid decisions I’ve made tbh. Worst thing it’s not naivety and not have a clue. Wish it was would have an excuse.

Whilst on this topic, sons school annoying me again. Don’t begrudge it as such as he’s happy there but that’s £200k net going to be spent over the time he’s there, could have been buying units with that. Likewise Range Rover etc thing is where does the analysis stop, never spend a penny on lifestyle could be the richest corpse in the graveyard. Also don’t want that so idk and there’s me dwelling on it again lol.

RelievedSheff

I think we can all look back and regret decisions we have made in the past. Trouble is you can't change what has already happened. You can only change what happens going forwards.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

@getmore4less mate you’re basically saying I’ve bought a Range Rover that owes me £215k. FML that’s Bentayga money with some spec too. Yeah know it’s not like that and it is what it is. The refinance was only 20 months ago so not that long in the grand scheme of things. Prior to building the card debt that lead to the refinance, I had balances on cards but nothing like that.

I recall the refinance being in the ~£100k region.
(might have been from the previous threads, might have been this one not going looking)

If I got that wrong and  it was more like ~£200k then ~1/2 the refinance is the RR.
Another big chunk on the res house you need somewhere to live and not a building site.

ladyholly

You could live in a hut and eat nothing but porridge and have loads of money but not a good place to be.  Stop regretting what might have been and look forward to the amazing life you and your family can have.  Nothing can change past mistakes but you can learn from them and move forward. 

enthusiasticsaver

I have cut back on alcohol massively over last few years too not that I was ever a heavy drinker but sometimes I can go for a few months without ever feeling I want a drink, whether wine or spirits. This year is the first Christmas I haven't gone over the top with sweet stuff or alcohol as DD1 has said she is also off alcohol and sweet things and DD2 and SIL don't drink as getting up at night with young kids is not nice if you have had a few drinks. DH only really has the odd beer so we are all really boring according to my sister who can easily put away a bottle of wine by herself. I certainly feel better if I don't drink but I am older than you. It affects my sleep too. 

I think you are in a a really good position or will be once the cards are gone. OK you bought a high end kitchen but if that is your home you will get the use out of it and it is something you will both enjoy. You cannot look on your home the same way as you would if you are developing it for sale when perhaps you would not have gone over the top on fitting it out. 

I understand being in property that you can think any money you spend could be put to better use in buying more property but you also have to live. Not everything is about making money otherwise where would you stop? Just spend on food and no cars, home improvements, holidays or in your case private schools? If your son is happy there and he is getting a good education you are getting value. If you enjoy driving your RR then you are getting value. You have to stop beating yourself up with regrets. No point in it so just look forward to getting more secure financially, building your business and maybe at some point if you wanted a bigger house or a sports car when you can make the finances work. You are a long time dead. 

ryanm8655

Yeah, it’s about striking a balance somewhere. Yes you’ve gone too far and got yourself in debt but can’t regret every purchase. You do earn well so deserve to live a little. It’s just doing so while avoiding meaningless debt to maintain a lifestyle you can’t afford.

alt80

I’m still paying for RR which works out c£115k with the balance I financed and the £15k Land Rover gave me for my RRS. Look back and could have seen £20-22k for that if I’d sold it so another thing I’ve lost on. So can’t offset against refinance as I’m still paying RR. Unless I’ve completely missed the point idk. Refinance cost £100k plus all the fees but repaying last lot of cards cost me a fair bit more by the time I got the money out of the company. Half don’t even want to think about it, half says work it all out down to a £1k and realise as with everything it’s so !!!!!! stupid and I hope it’ll make me think before getting my wallet out in the future.

Not even counting ftype and the BMW and lost cars owned outright that I px’d. Latest card balances too. Thrown away so much money, half the reason taken me so long face it tbh the beacon is shining !!!!!! bright I’m absolutely disgusted with myself the more I think about it working out where it’s all gone. No idea what the balance is tbh.

I’ve lived in so many building sites, what’s 2/3 more? My thoughts anyway. Tbf wife would go ballistic if I put this on market, released money and moved us to a flip project to level up/ sort my previous mess out. Last few years made so many bad choices and dragged myself backwards in every way. Apart from actually losing home/ family etc doesn’t really get much lower than what I’ve done. Put numerous people’s livelihoods and homes on the line because I’ve not been on top of game business wise either being 100 honest with myself. Dragged business into my personal issues refinancing too and tbh should have been able to live on less, keep more retained, invest the money not spend net income on selfish stuff.

I am trying to get through. Absolutely no one hates me more than I hate myself. 100 know it’s not useful, will just drag me down further and why I’m dealing with it, speaking to professionals etc because time to put my family first. Hindsight says shouldn’t have bought the res home, cars or the trying to live like a king. 100 shouldn’t have touched any substance stronger than a coffee and even that I should have rationed - keeps me up at night. Should’ve just kept buying units and living in flip projects would have been on way to setting wife and I up for life, no regrets and not have spent the latter half of my 30s trying to get a buzz from self destructive stuff rather than putting business and family first. 

Thrown away so much for an unsustainable lifestyle. Know everyone saying get over it - doesn’t seem to be anyone else on here thrown as much away as I have. Know it’s not a competition but starting to see why my lifestyle attracted such negative comments tbh it’s !!!!!! ridiculous how I’ve lived. Lots of people worse off than me, some net £5k/m or more worse off and just getting on with life, no debt or if they are not it’s not from overspending av £3.5k/m and nothing but a 5.0litre car being enough. Possibly worse thing is I’ve seen it go wrong big time for others in my industry/ life and still done the !!!!!! stupid stuff. Too arrogant to think it may have been me for a very long time, step in wrong way 100 could have been me know that much. Going to have to find a way to live with my regrets or not going to help me I know.

JGB1955

Long time lurker here - the way to live with your regrets is to put them behind you, they are in the past, they are no more....just like the Monty Python dead parrot (something that predates you by 11 years... whoops, forgot I'm 'so' old).  Perhaps, for a New Year's Resolution, you could try and look forward?  A positive attitude is so much easier, and far less tiring, on the eye.  For everyone... including the most important person - yourself.

getmore4less

 The RR was ~£100k  financed.

The refinance was ~£100k

You effectively swapped one lot of debt for the RR debt through the refinance.

alt80

@JGB1955 thank you, I am trying to actively work on moving forwards. Positivity difficult but definitely trying to make positive changes/ habits work on a day to day basis. Hoping they stick and the negative stuff eventually replaced. Don’t manage to move on and not going to help myself or my family I know that.

My dad loved monty python lol. 

@getmore4less I get what you mean now. That’s basically saying I forget about paying back the refinance though or seems to be? - know I need put the portfolio back into the position it should have been in - get to point of having paid this lot back first and can then hopefully stop taking the BTL money out each month. Few deals along the way too. Know I can’t replace the opportunity cost of my stupidity tbf.

Decided to work out figures what spent, what lost and what I owe myself as well as the banks. Job for over Christmas really enough work to do this week. Very long payback to put things right but need to put it all right, not just cards and pretend the rest didn’t happen. Ftype alone cost over £50k that needs to make its way back to me/ business. Much lower on priorities as it’s effectively a personal debt to myself might even buy another car with the money from it but not something on finance that depreciates at an obscene rate. Want to do the right thing.