First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

warby68 said:

Love the calm post about the user 'mate' - nope, you don't need him but strangely he finds you useful!! A lot of people like that. I think that kind of interaction would have triggered a huge rage a few weeks ago that somehow you'd failed. Now its more shrug and move on. 
Also love the Christmas gift for your wife - you've nailed that one.
Hope you have a nice weeked - we're a long way behind here, only going for the tree tomorrow. Don't tell your wife!

Blimey you are behind with Christmas!

Our tree feels like a permanent fixture in the living room now 🤣🤣🤣

ryanm8655

That car mate sounds an absolute ****. I think your instincts are right there. Good that you can see that for yourself. Also demonstrates the role of priorities in spending, thinking you should be ploughing everything into an Italian super car at the expense of your family and business seriously well done.

Get the anxiety re: seeing the in laws but will feel so much better once you’ve seen them and got it out the way. Get the eating Christmas dinner on your own thing

Spot on re: uncle. He does talk absolute crap sometimes. However he comes across on here, he does mean well. I’ve just learned to take some of what he says with a pinch of salt, wish I had that insight younger. He’s good at his job (always been top performer and in the 90s used to earn £12k per month commission) but definitely a risky one. He’s lost his job a few times in recent years, partly due to jumping ship for more money and going to start ups, so his own fault really. Also he’s getting older now and sales is a young mans game ha. Think that’s a lot of the problem though, didn’t go to uni or anything, done very well for himself but think it all brings insecurities and hence he’s very money focussed. Loves his kids too. Lives up north (north of the m4) just to be near his kids even though he’s desperate to be in London and eventually down south. Also pays ex a fortune in maintenance when he has the kids half the time and buys them everything anyway. Basically paying for her and her unemployed nobber of a bf to live. I’d be fuming but he just takes it in his stride. 

Incredibly well done dude. The mindset change is crazy and amazing. You deserve a massive Pat on the back. 

getmore4less

I would not dwell on not getting the new project, you can't do them all, need to be picky as you want potential good returns with managed failure downsides. 

Keep looking and risk manage those already on the go. 

I think you mentioned returning to multiple smaller project rather than another mega project that could take you down. 

That makes a lot of sense as it spreads risk and can be mixed risk levels, also complements the letting business profile, with potential to add units, diversity  and if plenty of added value development, to reduce the overall gearing to that business 

Willowtree222

Agree with Warby on the mate front finds you useful so phones you for advice then offers a put down. Sounds like he's insecure on the inside enough to put people down.
Good news about the sleep and a film on Christmas day might be a way of a few hours without feeling the need to fill the silence..
Have a good family weekend.
I think the fitness dice sound like a perfect idea for your wife. 

FootyFanDan

I think the fitness dice are a brilliant find, it’s deffo going to hit the right note with the too and not too expensive which I’m sure she will appreciate, it’s easy to go out and slash on an high gift with not much thought going into it but your gift requires thought. Whilst there is still part of you reflecting on old mistakes it’s great to see you thinking of the future, this journey will eventually make you see it was worth it. Also F!!!!! the ‘mate’ you defo don’t need ppl like that around you. I hope you enjoy the family time this weekend. The steps you are making are so great to see

Sarahwithlove

I think you are making Christmas with the in laws worst in your head. They have been supportive of you lately and seem to have turned a corner but you are still viewing them negatively. Try and go in to christmas with an open mind and remember that Christmas is about your son and he will want to spend time with you and have you play with his new presents with him not spend the whole day in the kitchen. 
Well done on the wife's present it shows some thought and doesn't break the bank so think she will appreciate it. 

Honeysucklelou2

I’ve been reading along and wanted to say a huge well done on the changes in your thinking over the last few weeks. It’s lovely to read that you are enjoying time with your wife and son. Time spent with your family  is priceless.  I hope the conversation with your parents goes well.

alt80

Variable spends: £885/1550. 

Got a sale on a £70 item but not paid so will wait until paid to update cards.

Family day today. Big dog walk in the morning followed by kickabout on the garden and few films this afternoon / evening. Mentally not been great (usual regrets / don't deserve family etc) but got through without turning to anything self destructive and still spent the day with my family so going to bed on a positive note tbh. 

Parents know essentially they thought I was a bit more sensible with money but both assumed I'd financed the cars/ property etc. My parents are proper working class Northerners despite where we lived when I was growing up always have made me laugh with some of the stuff they say today's gem was 'we knew you hadn't become one of the landed gentry' lol. My Dad is apparently 'proud' I can get so much credit, in his eye must be 'winning' to be able to get so much ha FML no wonder I'm !!!!!! with money really lol. They were really supportive tbh essentially said really not a massive deal, still got home, family, business etc. Could be a lot worse. Sister doesn't know I will be honest with her - she knows I'm not 'cash money' tbf but will probably tell her I'm cutting back / focusing on family more.

Thanks everyone. 🙂

Re 'mate' - yeah he's not really much of a mate tbh. I deal with him regularly when he wants advice about what to do with res home (he's not an investor).

Re Christmas gift - thanks all. I think she'll love the gift - really not expensive so do feel a bit ashamed not being able to spend more on her but I did think about it at least. Held off on race as she's waiting to hear back about the arch of her foot (painful after running).

@warby68 Your tree will look fantastic still on Christmas Day on the positive side but I'm with @RelievedSheff ours almost feel like part of the house now - where have you even been haha?

@ryanm8655 Up north is North of M4 now?? FML haha but £12k/m in 90s, that's a massive amount of cash. Back then could pick up property here for £25-35k per house easy. Not so great re divorce etc. Tbh I'd probably not take that well either mate.

@getmore4less thanks and tbh if you can't take getting an offer rejected it's not the game for you lol. Honestly had more offers rejected than I care to think over the years! 

Absolutely the plan re development/ portfolio side mate.

Definitely the plan re smaller projects. I'd potentially do a larger one again but would 100 partner up.

warby68

@alt80 @RelievedSheff TBF its not far from our usual 2 weeks before (scandalous I know) but our kids never bothered earlier. They liked the house being done to mean Santa was very close and didn't do the whole 'season' thing. Plus the real trees didn't used to do so well in central heating. We're not bah humbug though, we have a family tradition. We all go together to choose and then have the first turkey dinner at a place with live Christmas music on the piano (not this year sadly of course). We're supposed to be out of Tier 3 next week but that really would be too late lol. By the time we get home the tree has been delivered. Children at uni now but we had been told to wait for them to come home  
Great news on your Saturday, family, steadyish mood and parents told Some of your Saturdays have been nightmarish. Budget holding firm too

RelievedSheff

Well done on telling your parents. That must be a weight lifted. 

And Well done on your family Saturday. 

Hope you had a good night's sleep to top off a good day?