First Steps to Solvency

Sarahwithlove

alt80 said:

Putting the low value items up for sale seems to be paying off - 3 more sales this morning wife has dealt with. Only £50 in total but another (unexpected) card update.

Bad nights sleep last night, went to bed, got up, went back to bed, bit of sleep, woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep then asleep at 6.45am. Not great but not going to let it spoil my day- usually do if I’m tired I start doing stupid stuff. Probably going to be more relaxing to spend some time with son tonight probably be bored of this but film is a nice easy one at least ha.

@ryanm8655 Yeah think you’re right. I’ve not made any secret I have issues and spend/ whatever for self destructive reasons sometimes. You’ve got there a lot earlier than me- took me until I was 40 to even think this needs to change mate.

Actually know a few people with good jobs in civil service through son mainly (there’s a few departments here). What you’re saying relates - that bloke’s wife is civil service ha. 

@RelievedSheff thank you. Possibly a bit of an ambitious target but I keep thinking I’m going to try to aim to have cards cleared Dec 2021 keep finding bits to sell etc keep with budget should have some extra money to throw at them. Would be really nice to think starting 2022 could be clear of those. ‘Just’ the RR balloon to deal with / keep getting the projects and sort the PGs out. After that just building on what we have, past over.

You'll be surprised how quickly they add up. Might be worth keeping track of how much you make from selling stuff that way you will feel more inclined to keep doing it as you can see long term progress rather than £50 here or there. 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Putting the low value items up for sale seems to be paying off - 3 more sales this morning wife has dealt with. Only £50 in total but another (unexpected) card update.

Bad nights sleep last night, went to bed, got up, went back to bed, bit of sleep, woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep then asleep at 6.45am. Not great but not going to let it spoil my day- usually do if I’m tired I start doing stupid stuff. Probably going to be more relaxing to spend some time with son tonight probably be bored of this but film is a nice easy one at least ha.

@ryanm8655 Yeah think you’re right. I’ve not made any secret I have issues and spend/ whatever for self destructive reasons sometimes. You’ve got there a lot earlier than me- took me until I was 40 to even think this needs to change mate.

Actually know a few people with good jobs in civil service through son mainly (there’s a few departments here). What you’re saying relates - that bloke’s wife is civil service ha. 

@RelievedSheff thank you. Possibly a bit of an ambitious target but I keep thinking I’m going to try to aim to have cards cleared Dec 2021 keep finding bits to sell etc keep with budget should have some extra money to throw at them. Would be really nice to think starting 2022 could be clear of those. ‘Just’ the RR balloon to deal with / keep getting the projects and sort the PGs out. After that just building on what we have, past over.

Ahh god, it wouldn't surprise me if she was one of my policy customers to be honest. They're deliberately difficult as it's all a power thing for them. Just had to get director involved over one line in a 40 page impact assessment. Director has redrafted to exactly what I put in the first place and now they're like "that looks great", winds me up no end as they refused to compromise on their point despite me being the analyst and ask for my director to get involved as they won't accept what someone the grade below them says. Can't stand it. They'll also lie about what's been agreed in order to cover their own !!!!!! for not flagging an issue at the meeting where you signed everything off. Driving me nuts as everything takes so much longer.

Willowtree222

Wow Ryan, I bet you are glad to have distanced yourself from them. 
Those cards are starting to move. It will slow down, but once they start to hit certain figures you get a thrill out of chasing them down. I do anyway! Might just be me though. The hardest part I find now is my impatience to get it all paid. 
I think it's good to have an ambitious goal. Christmas 2021 can be set and then see where you are then. You never know what might happen between now. 

lostmyusername

Ryan, are you a civil service lawyer? Because what you’re saying seems awfully familiar...

ryanm8655

lostmyusername said:

Ryan, are you a civil service lawyer? Because what you’re saying seems awfully familiar...

Haha, no. I’m an economist. That’s why when I was considering law and people suggested I transfer within the civil service my response was an awkward silence ha.

getmore4less

Was wonder what your first thoughts were on the Mark Wright incident?

alt80

Variable spends: £790/1550

I’ve put an offer in on the project. Not been accepted yet but absolutely buzzing to be back in the game. Been years since I’ve actively taken on projects now one going through and another offer in. Both flips rather than BTL all being well but will still rent well if needs be - need to generate a bit of profit really before going for btls when not quite so stretched on the money side IMO. 

Sorry going to be another reflective one haha. When the block started to go a bit pear shaped I totally lost it tbh. No confidence to go for anything just paralysed about money and health obsessing I was going have to find cash to finish it, didn’t know how and also health scare with all my personal commitments too thought something at any time was going to give, spiral and be the end of me. When my brain was working I knew I’d blown it all way out of proportion so panicking over nothing really but took me ages to get my head together enough to sort the FA/ other finance/ face up to the personal debts. Tbh at least some of the spending had been numerous !!!!!! it moments def ftype was one, my head telling me I’m going to lose everything anyway (irrationally) so might as well lose it big time. Couldn’t get brave enough to buy an AM though lol said the figures wouldn’t stack that’s true I did run figures but more the embarrassment of walking into AM (the dream for me) with a 12 year old 997 and no cash to put with it really stopped me after my mate with the MG joked he hoped I had a lot of cash to put with my px because I wasn’t getting much of an Aston for that. Couldn’t get into a position of working with what I had, living within my means which I knew wasn’t a bad place to be and planning for a future I’d convinced myself by this point I didn’t have. 

In my head I ‘knew’ my wife was going to leave me soon, more or less cut her out of my life and anything to do with business (she used to help quite a lot and took a salary though home always been her first priority and where she wants to be), started obsessing I wouldn’t even be able to keep my house which as much as I moan about wanting 7 figure place means a lot to me. Worst case scenarios running in my head losing my nerve, letting business coast, procrastinating leading to extensions on top of extensions of poor rate commercial finance with PGs, watching my wife and son play together at the other side of the door wishing things were different, using substances for half an hour feeling untouchable when things were really bad telling everyone else it’s nothing but a having a good time and they’re boring if they think it isn’t. !!!!!! long time since that was about making good times better for me tbh. 

Sometimes I was too ashamed to speak with my staff so went awol to go and buy stuff, get a hit from making a purchase over a long ‘lunch’ because no one was going to question how long I spent getting a coffee. When things got really bad in my head I’d started to convince myself they’d be going down too with me and my business and all my fault wrecking peoples lives. Craved the ‘confidence’ using drugs gave me whilst high, made me feel like I did the years previous when things were going well for me business wise and I was levelling up all the time because I put making it before spending it, accepted a bit of sacrifice. Same time I shut all my mentors in business who’d really helped me establish and build something good and drove away the positive people out of my life, alienated anyone who’s ever been a good mate or tried to help me. Told my wife what she’d be driving, what she’d be wearing on a night out because ‘I earn the money’. People on here right that it’s hard to be much lower than that, times I hated myself for it. 

All the stuff I knew I had problems with questioned by strangers when I put the post up on here hoping someone had a magic solution because I’d run out of them  different perspective might give me the magical pill to hold all my bs up but 100 wasn’t the response I got and Ive never been able to hold myself back from an up yours. However it made me question the stuff I’d been questioning in my own head for a long time I knew I needed to deal with mindset and wanted to sort the credit card debt out (nothing else lol) as I knew that was way of hand heading towards another refinance that was going to be impossible as even the crappest lenders with the shittest rates were pulling portfolio lending anything over 75ltv. Lots on here questioned why I felt the need to put the portfolio into that original soa, not gonna lie it was all my ego. Think it was @getmore4less who questioned the BTL figures and I told him some were on a repayment basis. They’re not, they’re all on i/o at !!!!!! rates, I was desperate for money and that’s all I could get at the point I refinanced they were 80ltv about as high as it gets for lending to a ltd spv. I split my BTL profits 50/50 between me and retained. The portfolio is at the point of 75ltv now and another refinance next year should get me a much better rate. 

Still wanted more all the time, faking to others I had success was about to move to  a massive res home well into 7 figures and buy a supercar. Mouthing off like the biggest problem in my world was not being able to find a classic Ferrari in the colour of my choice or something ha. That’s how things got really bad with real mates, the in-laws never had a lot of time for me but the constant bigging myself up made FIL want to knock me down even more especially when he saw I was shutting his daughter out. They were convinced I had severe financial problems before I said a thing to wife. House of cards going to fall etc. Weren’t even surprised when I fessed up about the debts, neither was wife. Suppose they all saw I wasn’t really doing much different in business to before the mental stuff no more staff, no more units etc just spaffing a load of money on a brand new car once in a while, few living like a king holidays, mouthing off about how much money I had and trying to look the part. Previously I didn’t make a secret of doing ok but I was 100 honest about the LTVs/ risks taken/ living in building sites through my 20s/ sacrificing things in my personal life to buy investment property with my retained rather than paying it straight to me/ buying a car once in a while on finance admitting to those I’m close to it was a big purchase for me and I’d be paying for it for a while etc.

Had lots and lots of fleeting moments over the past few years trying to sort myself out thought I’d never do anything stupid again after the refinance, next month there was a balance on a card. Small but there. It took forced shut down during lockdown 1 for me to see what I’d been missing on the family side and that things were doing fine on the business side, didn’t need to go mental for a few years because it was all going to go to !!!!!! anyway, I just needed to get my head together sort the mindset, pay the debts down, deleverage a bit on the btls and be a better husband to my wife and dad to my boy. Im never going to be best mates with my son’s friend’s dad for lots of reasons but 100 know I went on a massive binge after he said what he did because with where I was at that point in my life, the truth hurt far too much.

@getmore4less Mark Wright lol my wife would def say bye bye to me in a heartbeat for him.

It didn’t surprise me tbh unfortunately but pleased for him it was found and they got it back. By all accounts it had a tracker fitted at least.

RR theft been a massive issue for years main reason insurance is high IMO there was also Harry Kane’s a few weeks ago, all Essex / London area - my bets on organised criminals shipping them abroad. Not going for a joy ride like car thiefs back in the day. Why they’d target ‘known’ people though idk seems like a recipe for disaster if you’re criminal tbh.

RR Sport most stolen car in uk right now. My old Sport was more to insure than current RR so can believe that. 

@ryanm8655 Sounds like something she’d do tbh. Absolutely petty power !!!!!!. When my wife was training this woman, she would message her probably a couple of times a day to change something or other, wife would explain her reasoning etc at one point she went to their house two days in a row to cook because this woman ‘didn’t have time’. Wife knew they’re busy people so put together 20/30 minute max recipes etc. 100 taking the !!!!!!. Next day she’d be bad mouthing my wife to others including some stuff that if my wife had an eating disorder may have been really damaging. I never said anything (wish I had tbh) dealt with wife losing confidence, really doubting herself because she was doing everything to help this woman. So yeah could 100 see her being the sort to send back a 40 pg long report over a sentence and asking to speak to the manager. A Karen basically ha. Son and this boy are really good mates and tbh I know my wife thinks it’s good for the lad to burn some energy off just doing kid stuff, I do too but don’t like to involve myself in other peoples parenting. I know I’m a !!!!!! dad so not going to start criticising others ha but know where wife is coming from. She feels a bit sorry for him tbf and as a mum just wants the lad to have a bit of a childhood I think lol.

@Sarahwithlove/ @Nicnak thanks 100 pleased to see the balance coming down. Know it’ll slow going to run out of stuff to sell lol. Actually pleased with the small sales - £90 from those already! Nice idea re keeping a record I do in spreadsheet as that’s how I keep track of balances. 

Willowtree222

I think it's safe to say you've stopped burying your head in the sand. 
The fact you're openly now acknowledging everything and the root cause shows you're not the same person posting as you was on page one.
Now it's out there, you can start to work on it. Recognising what it is is the hardest step.

alt80

£50 in sales takes the totals to:
M&S (card I’m currently trying to pay off first) - £3100
Total balance - £28,350
Total sales (December) - £440

If no more sales with the ‘min payment’ well my set DD, this card will be gone in 10 months. Just paying the original min payment... over 3 years and way after the 0% runs out so would have to be BT’d. FML. Hoping the sales clear it tbh as still have a lot of higher and lower value items to sell. Would make my year to end this month under £28k but will see and not go down the road of getting angry about stuff not selling. The £90 in low value sales is more than the original min payment on this card so really pleased with that.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

£50 in sales takes the totals to:
M&S (card I’m currently trying to pay off first) - £3100
Total balance - £28,350
Total sales (December) - £440

If no more sales with the ‘min payment’ well my set DD, this card will be gone in 10 months. Just paying the original min payment... over 3 years and way after the 0% runs out so would have to be BT’d. FML. Hoping the sales clear it tbh as still have a lot of higher and lower value items to sell. Would make my year to end this month under £28k but will see and not go down the road of getting angry about stuff not selling. The £90 in low value sales is more than the original min payment on this card so really pleased with that.

Good work, those small sales will soon start adding up. They already are...

And that’s it, even a small sale covers more than minimum payment on some cards. Good you’re starting to think about things in those terms.

Also good you’re being honest with yourself about past decisions and behaviours. That’s a huge step in the right direction.