First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

I'm just as guilty as this. I get DD loads on her list and some of it is tat and others are unused. I've cut back loads this year too. 
Dealing with debt is never easy but the fact you are and selling stuff shows how committed you are. 
You'll have the chance to show you can cook. Not in a boasting way just in a way that shows you're different to what they expected. 

theoretica

alt80 said:

Anger was at stupid levels again this morning - Christmas market shut down here then hear there’s going to be a card for covid vaccine but no way to pay for it - 100 they’ll introduce can only come in if you’ve had vaccine in some places. That’s not fair when you can’t even choose to get it done IMO.

At least for the next few months any place that insists on vaccine cards will be confining itself to older customers and care/clinical workers. Not necessarily the best for business except for a few places where that is the target market and I wouldn't be likely to visit anyway.

getmore4less

If we go back I recall that you had the misplaced believe that people see your displays of wealth and that is where you get your self esteem from.

I think you are still connecting spending with this and that is contributing to the negative thoughts.

There are some pretty complex connections going on that are beyond my pay grade to unravel and get the disconnect in place, probably one for the counselling.

There is definitely significant progress with some of the pieces of the puzzle.
The main one being you can't level up on credit, you have to earn it first, once that starts to filter through with business growth you will see the way forward.

As said vaccine passports are going to be useless for months,  maybe care homes should be using them ASAP as they are death traps but the rest of us won't be seeing vaccines before the summer and maybe even into next winter.
 

feeldaburn

Hello - lurker here but been reading along a while. 
I had a thought re christmas present for your wife - a while ago you mentioned that she wanted you to do a race together. Could you sign both of you up for one that you can train for together? Not too expensive and more about the thought/commitment than the spending. 

ryanm8655

feeldaburn said:

Hello - lurker here but been reading along a while. 
I had a thought re christmas present for your wife - a while ago you mentioned that she wanted you to do a race together. Could you sign both of you up for one that you can train for together? Not too expensive and more about the thought/commitment than the spending. 

That's a cool idea, could even raise so money for charity and appease the in laws as well.

getmore4less

I tried to find the post about the race but can't.
From what I remember the enthusiasm for doing that was on the very low side.
A change there could be a very good present.

alt80

Variable spends: £740/1550

Food shop including some Christmas stuff and filling the BMW. Only working this week and next then two weeks off / doing very little so doubt another petrol fill this month. Apprehensive about two weeks off but Christmas in between so hopefully won’t be too much.

No alcohol/ smashed the leg day somehow/ 3km on the treadmill (too cold for outdoor run tbh)/ Christmas film night in with the hot choc. Not even time to think about getting my wallet out.

Nativity 2 film - absolutely ridiculous, son thought it was hilarious tbf it was quite funny in parts if you like slapstick imo. Did consider opening a bottle of wine but decided I didn’t need it. Healthier lifestyle all round today.

Been absolutely freezing though still did my dog walk and been out on a couple of jobs. Every now and again visit something that makes me think if I didn’t earn ok from it think I’d give up and become an accountant or something lol. This one commercial - derelict previously had squatters !!!!!! awful, sort of place you wipe your feet on the way out ha property def not a glamorous industry. Always get a weird feeling of life could be a whole lot worse when I go to some places haha extra grateful to come home. Also seen another project for me. Got the FA through so decided to go and have a look, another comm to res rural place. Looks good on the face of it c£90k gross profit potentially.

Been thinking about if I’d buy my RR again and I know what it costs probably disgusts most people on here so hoping I’ll say no but I love the car and don’t even think a Bentayga would do anything better apart from have the badge. So I would but I also would have left it for a couple of years though with the hindsight I’ve got now, bigger deposit and finance the rest with a plan from day one for the balloon. Would like to say I’d save longer and buy for cash but tbh I probably am not at that stage for the delayed gratification yet.

Also been thinking that other people always going to pull you down if that’s how they are shouldn’t have taken me to this age to be at the point of just starting to think about what I want for my family and I only not seeking validation. Definitely have been out to impress others stupidly. Those of us in debt for lifestyle reasons probably also guilty of this idk but this came from my counselling for other stuff.

Was told to reflect on this time I went on a massive binge and think about how something negative triggered craving and I could have better handled the situation might be helpful to others if they seek validation only reason I’m posting it tbh possibly won’t help anyone idk. Kind of spending related too tbh. Whole !!!!!! lot of my mental issues ha. When I first got current RR we had one of son’s friends from school round, really nice lad loves football we’d all just had a bit of a kick about in the garden and lunch. Parents aren’t much fun tbh wife has this lad round regularly for a kick about or did when we could. His parents too stuck up generally, so this 100 shouldn’t have angered me but I think I tend to think others will react how I do. Generally I’m made up for people when they get something nice / achieve something and 100 take it personally when others react differently to something nice I’ve bought. Yeah know I shouldn’t. Anyway the boys mum when they picked their boy up said she was surprised we’d gone for the Vogue. They aren’t car people really but I was so wrapped up in it at the time in my head everyone knows the differences between trim so I massively kicked off can’t buy the supercharged in vogue spec that’s the base model etc etc I am embarrassed looking back thinking about that. Not gonna lie though I was buzzing about my new car and looking for a bit of a well done mate, nice motor, made up for you, wish I’d got the money etc sort of stuff reasonable people say when a someone gets a new car. Husband’s put down ‘I don’t care what model of Range Rover a jumped up estate agent has managed to scrape a deposit together for’. Said it in front of wives, his boy and my son, couldn’t just say nice motor mate or whatever leave it at that, he said it totally deadpan 100 not a joke. Red rag to a bull for me that was but looking back with the hindsight and wanting to make changes to my mindset- it was me with the anger level at a 10 and me who went out on a massive 2 day binge, he went home smug probably never even thought about it again. I lost it big time, ill for days and days after, 100 wife knew what I’d been doing but she didn’t say anything, couldn’t even work so spent about a week in a massive rage looking for a Bentayga (no amount of man maths could have justified it and tbh almost certain I’d not been able to get the credit either) all just to be able to say !!!!!! you to him. Just reminds me I do 100% need to stop worrying about others/ image/ validation - it’s just not worth the anger when people have different views or just want to pull you down for no reason and for me I’m more likely to spend on stuff I don’t even really want.

Re race @ryanm8655 think it was you mentioning marathon? Definitely wasn’t keen on that @getmore4less lol. Think people on here thought I was more fit than I am tbh. I am potentially up for doing a 10km with wife but can’t see me training for a marathon. Only really run up to 5km personally but have done 10km before so know it’s possible beyond that don’t think I’ve got the discipline for the training and a bit intimidated by the distance tbf. Thank you @feeldaburn for the suggestion my wife would absolutely love for me to train with her and us do a race tbh. Will def have a look.

@Nicnak it’s def easy when your kids are young tbh. I enjoy Christmas not on wife’s level but I get it. 

@getmore4less yeah suppose I’m seeing the way I view things not really normal or healthy. Don’t get me wrong I knew there were people not bothered about owning stuff / getting their worth from it but tbh thought more like me than not ha. Think it was you that said shouldn’t be basing a res home purchase just on purchase price more what would it give you over what you have etc. Made me think about it a bit also came up in the counselling - fairly certain counsellor doesn’t get my way of thinking either tbh spent about 15 minutes explaining I’d be buzzing to see HMLR update of purchase price £1m when I put my address in. Well for a bit. Did make me take a step back - who/ what for etc. Just for my ego really part of my idea of what it means to me to have it made. At the point of parking that stuff concentrating on generating income rather than spending it, does go a bit awry with time off/ weekends/ boredom definitely.

alt80

£40 in sales takes the totals to:
M&S (card I’m currently trying to pay off first) - £3150
Total balance - £28,400
Total sales (December) - £390
Total reduction (September - date) - £11.6k 

100% made my evening seeing total balance under £28.5k.

getmore4less

One thing to be careful of is creating weekend workload for yourself.

Just got a few loose ends to finish could develop into regular left over workload.

Better would be, I have some free time start on next week's workload/planning and get ahead of the game then finish early on Friday or squeeze in another fee earner.

There has been great progress on the work family balance try to maintain that. 

alt80

@getmore4less thanks mate. Good call on the planning / getting ahead rather than dealing with left over. Part of last week had one more staff member off than I’d like tbh.

Sometimes jump into the work rather than doing something destructive - better for my family if I’m working rather than spending tbh. Time I should be enjoying off work/ relaxing/ whatever just massively anxious about - don’t trust myself not to get tempted to do stupid stuff. OK if we’ve planned to do something, I knew I had to do the christmas film tonight or I’d be letting my son down but probably would have chosen to do something less good for family if I’d not planned anything - probably go back to home office / have a drink just can’t be bothered in the moment, tired I suppose.