First Steps to Solvency

TheAble

A bit of work at the weekend is fine in my opinion. I have the opportunity to put in some overtime a couple of times a month and I find I have a much more enjoyable weekend when I do - a mix of productiveness and relaxation. Maybe just do Saturday mornings or something? To be encouraged!

Sun_Addict

Could you set a small budget for you and your wife to buy each other a token gift of, say, £20 each. Then try and find something creative with it, perhaps something really unique from a craft market. When my OH was well he would think nothing of going into town on Christmas Eve and blowing a minimum of £200 on my present, always told him not to but he did. One year I gave him a list of 4 perfumes I liked with the intention of him choosing one, he bought all of them. 

theoretica

You want to give your wife something, your wife will only appreciate it if it is free or very inexpensive.  There's your challenge.  You could involve your son to do something together - what is he making her for Christmas?

Sarahwithlove

I agree could you get your son involved and make her something. Maybe a calender with some pictures of your son/family each month. Or freeprints app do books and coasters and similiar which could be something for her to open and shows you have given it some thought. 

RelievedSheff

Think I have said this before. We set each other a £50 budget for buying each other Christmas presents. We always end up with interesting things as well.

I know the other half is going to love the four Ebay items I have managed to get him this year. They are all right up his street.

Willowtree222

You'll tell them when it's right for you, but that would wind me up about what they said too. 
Your sister sounds like she's doing just fine. She prob does have more disposable income too. 
Had to laugh at the hubby though. One hangover? Must have been a bad one.
You're giving your wife time and the stability she craves. Maybe write an IOU or give her an evening of your time. Run her a bath whatever it is for her to relax. I'd have loved for my ex to have given me an evening off. Cooked tea, run me a bath, sorted our daughter. 

You're doing fab. Try to stop looking at the things you can't have. I know it's always easier us suggesting these things but it's mostly because we've done similar things. I'm still doing some just not as often. 

alt80

Variable spends: £1065/£1550.

Decsober: jumped off the wagon tonight lol shared a bottle of wine with wife should’ve just had a glass with dinner like she did but finished the bottle. 

Went into town £520 spend, got wife a mulberry purse for Christmas, £295 couldn’t resist tbh. Feel better having got her something and she loves mulberry so should be happy, will stick with just the one gift so I am watching the pennies too which she should appreciate. Rest spent today was on a shirt and jumper not needed tbf but I’ll definitely wear. Cinema tomorrow afternoon so won’t be spending, ticket already bought. No meals/ nights out or anything this month being tier 3 so don’t think I’m actually going to go massively over - very little petrol over Christmas and just food/ bit of petrol to buy definitely no more spends.

Decided Christmas Day I’m going to cook the roast. She can spend time with son and her family, give her mum a day off too and I won’t be drinking all day, looking idly at !!!!!! to buy trying to avoid conversation with FIL. Tbf it’ll be a way to keep my weekends occupied in the run up to Christmas (can’t spend anymore really). Also not feel annoyed sitting about with in-laws on the day and will keep me off the booze a bit. Should be a win win.

@theoretica / @Sarahwithlove / @RelievedSheff I’m not good at the creative stuff so whilst I like the suggestions it just adds to stress for me. We always get framed photos from in-laws so have enough - tbf they’re usually nice.

@TheAble Re working weekends wife tells me she doesn’t want me doing anything business related but then wants time on her own with son Saturday mornings haha so I did tie a few loose ends up before trip into town. I did used to duck out of family stuff using business as an excuse so probably why she wants me having time off and she worries I work too much anyway.

@Sun_Addict ha I 100 know how to spend. Not a Christmas Eve kind of bloke but no good at the creative stuff either. Think I’ve managed to strike a good balance tbh.

@Nicnak haha Sister’s husband is actually a really nice guy tbf properly into fitness rowing, triathlons etc and always has been so no time for being hungover ha. Genuinely think their only vice is having a family football season ticket for a premier league club. Ridiculously disciplined re drinking will have a glass of wine and switch straight onto water etc, wife and sister not far behind him on the drinking so just me left usually when we stay at theirs. Their children think I’m a bit of a mess - really can’t drink like I used to but BIL seems to think I can and keeps getting me drinks before he passes me the bill haha. Maybe I’m nicer drunk than sober or something idk but will have to build the tolerance up a bit before we go again lol.

Both dad and I have told sister on many occasions they would make a lot more her with own practice, him contracting and get some developments on the go but they don’t want it - their life, their choice. BIL would probably get on well with a few of you on here, he’s a proper financial freedom type, genuinely never had a credit card lol - their plan is to both work 3 days a week over next year or so and fully retired at 55 hence their attitudes but no lifestyle is translated to my dad as them ‘struggling’ and he and mum really worries about them. Probably ought be more worried about my future ha but to my dad I must be doing ok - he thinks I’m sensible because I don’t gamble basically. Tbf he’s not dumb, they spent their pre-Greece lives perpetually in debt and one of my dad’s best mates was a developer, had other unrelated businesses but got me interested in the property game mainly as he had a lifestyle we could only dream of when we were growing up - massive country pile, houses abroad, Christmas in Caribbean, horses, brand new Bentley/ AM/ RR/ couple of 70s/80s Ferraris in the garage etc. Nothing but a pipe dream for me now tbf would do absolutely anything for it, even just a taste. Turned out he was absolutely swimming in debt, levels that make me look a complete saint with money- massive, massive gambler, no one knew just how close to the edge everything was including businesses until he lost the lot, moved away. Anyway, so yeah my dad 100 isn’t dumb to the notion of stuff being funded by means other than hard cash probably won’t even surprise him really, just can’t face having to admit to my dad I’ve been stupid with money when I’ve played up to the fact he thinks I’m sensible.

RelievedSheff

You say your dad isn't daft. He probably already knows you are in debt. He will probably appreciate the honesty.

Willowtree222

I'm not a drinker either so can understand your BIL's way. I have had a fair few hangovers though.
You have quite a few positive influences around you with regards to drinking. A lot of people that don't or can simply switch off from it. I don't think they would say anything if you didn't have a drink at all. It's usually the opposite where people are pressuring others to have drink. 
The dinner cooking will be a great way to keep you occupied and away from conversations you don't want to have. 
If you're not creative and still wanted to make something places like vista print, or photobooks can be made by simply uploading photos. They're personalised but you don't have to spend hours crafting.

alt80

Don’t know what’s wrong with me but woke up regretting the spends yesterday probably mean being over budget for buying clothes I 100 don’t need buying because I have a grey one but not a blue one and I’d bought something for wife so in my head ought buy something for me too. Madness so I’m going to return also told wife and she wasn’t pleased - buying for stupid reasons and things I don’t need. Agree with that tbh. Still ok with her gift I’m fairly certain I can stick to the variable budget and her Christmas gift - will only need to fill a car once. RR has 1/2 tank only use it weekends and if the weather gets bad. I’m using BMW for business miles almost exclusively - it’ll be going back so might as well run the miles up and the fill a lot cheaper.

@RelievedSheff probably idk. Doubt he thinks I own any property outright but can’t imagine he thinks I owe on cars or if he thinks I do doubt he thinks it’s much. Also doubt he thinks I’ve got debts on cards / nothing in the way of a home sinking fund. Ultimately idk just do know they’re far enough away I can retain a bit of an image definitely not managed with in-laws ha.

@Nicnak I don’t even consider myself a massive drinker tbh. Regret finishing that bottle of wine last night tbf not got a massive hangover but not in the mood for exercise either. Bit disappointed I’ve not just waited until 18th as I said I would.

Yeah I don’t really like people pressuring others to drink tbh. Sister and family always tell me I need to “switch off” lol probably think they’re doing me a favour or something getting me wasted.

Probably sounds strange but I’m buzzing for Christmas dinner - opportunity to not just have same thing work out what everyone likes/ dislikes and get the balance right. Quite enjoyed the Saturday cooking last week proper from scratch cooking, tasted amazing and kept me occupied without spending a load of money.