First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@Purplelady65 thanks. Yeah definitely trying for some self improvement tbh.

In the interest of honesty my craving for a fix hasn’t gone not going to help me though and fairly certain on my last chance to put it right with wife. Not addicted but crossed into the realms of going down a road I don’t want to go down and I know how close my wife came to walking out with our son the other day. Wouldn’t blame her if she had tbf. Fairly certain I have a real problem with addiction as far as spending goes though.

Self aware enough to know I’m a **** and half my issues are an unwillingness to change in some ways - want to pay the cards off but still want to drive a nice car and bigger house etc. Know my self worth is far too wrapped up in what I own and business but whilst I can admit that I’m not sure I want to change it iyswim. Appreciate the risk of paying the debt down and then just building it back up - my attitude hasn’t changed still want to spend battle with that every single day.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Thanks at the current stage I just want the GP to give me the drugs tbh. Feel dreadful all day but wide awake at way past midnight and keep waking up through the night almost every night. Not helped myself with the overuse of coffee and other stimulants tbf but need something just to get through the day. I’m exhausted from the lack of sleep and on edge from all the stimulants winning combination there lol. Mental state not amazing generally but lack of sleep making it worse. Getting through but would be nice for every day not to be a massive struggle.

Wife’s had someone messing her around about an item we’ve got for sale, said they wanted to buy then sending through stupid offers. Not too happy about the lack of sales and card debts haven’t gone down by much more than min payments after a £10k reduction last month so quite angry about that. Bit embarrassed I smashed it last month and no where near my target of £5k this month. Mrs tells me it’s becoming another thing for me to get angry about, not a competition etc. Told her I want the cards gone, strike it through and move on.

Listen to your wife on this one. It isn't worth getting angry about. So long as the debt is going in the right direction, (down for the avoidance of doubt,) then that is an achievement. It doesn't have to go down by huge sums each month so long as it is going down.

It needn't be a race to zero. You can amble along and take your time.

ryanm8655

RelievedSheff said:

alt80 said:

Thanks at the current stage I just want the GP to give me the drugs tbh. Feel dreadful all day but wide awake at way past midnight and keep waking up through the night almost every night. Not helped myself with the overuse of coffee and other stimulants tbf but need something just to get through the day. I’m exhausted from the lack of sleep and on edge from all the stimulants winning combination there lol. Mental state not amazing generally but lack of sleep making it worse. Getting through but would be nice for every day not to be a massive struggle.

Wife’s had someone messing her around about an item we’ve got for sale, said they wanted to buy then sending through stupid offers. Not too happy about the lack of sales and card debts haven’t gone down by much more than min payments after a £10k reduction last month so quite angry about that. Bit embarrassed I smashed it last month and no where near my target of £5k this month. Mrs tells me it’s becoming another thing for me to get angry about, not a competition etc. Told her I want the cards gone, strike it through and move on.

Listen to your wife on this one. It isn't worth getting angry about. So long as the debt is going in the right direction, (down for the avoidance of doubt,) then that is an achievement. It doesn't have to go down by huge sums each month so long as it is going down.

It needn't be a race to zero. You can amble along and take your time.

Agreed.

Most of the months on the journey you’ll be clearing the budgeted amount.

As long as the debt is on 0% then you can afford to wait for the right price on your items. I wouldn’t worry too much. If you do want to sell quickly then you may have to reduce your asking price a bit.

Are there some other bits you could put up for sale for a bit of a boost?

Sarahwithlove

As long as debt is going down and you're not adding to it then you are making progress. I think because you sold all your higher valued items at start you will always struggle to try and clear the same amount again each month so you need to find a way to be happy with the fact that it's going down rather than up. 

getmore4less

I think this was mentioned before but with debt reductions you have to be careful of falling into the one off trap and thinking you can sustain the numbers. 

The success comes from allocation of the regular amount from income to debt reduction and controlling the spending. 

You can only sell stuff once and the easy stuff goes quickly first for the most money, then it gets harder takes longer and less money.

The normal budget amount without fail is the successful amount,  any one off are bonus successes. 

Same with the spending cutbacks, most you do once big hits first then the next cut back gets harder take longer and are smaller amounts.

Everyone enters a phase call the slog, where you just get on with the job. 

Can get frustrating when there are no more cutbacks and the one off options have dried. 

This will be in conflict with your lust for instant gratification, needs to be watched carefully to avoid the monsters, listen to the wife on this one.

enthusiasticsaver

Unfortunately debt clearing is a slog unless you have a good disposable income. Your income is good but not disposable because a lot of it is earmarked for the PCP repayments on the BMW or the RR. You cannot have it all. You can manage minimums but if you want to repay the cards quickly I think one of the other cars will need to go or the private school fees. This month you had a blip so that will hold up the debt clearing. You mentioned that the spending you did Monday was remedied by transferring back to BTL account but now you have an overdraft. Don't be tempted to leave that as ongoing. It won't always be 0%. The cards are going down as you presumably are no longer spending on them. No point in getting angry. 

alt80

Thanks all the punishment element is strong for me. I’ve acknowledged I’m having financial problems due to being addicted to spending. I’m ready to move on no longer over spending on cards. Right now just think what’s the point have a lot more credit available so not like I can’t spend that’s a choice I’m making - right one tbf. Made some massive cutbacks and had to but wonder how long I can carry on not spending. The spending is bad but the stuff I get into when I can’t spend is worse - need some kind of fix. Hate myself for it tbf wish I was balanced and could relax into being mediocre. Suppose I see that as a failure - can’t be very good in business if I can’t afford it goes through my mind a lot. When I feel I’m not doing well in business the other self destructive behaviours start include the reckless driving hoping police bans me to explain to others why I know longer have a sports car in that as well as the substance abuse and levels of anger I struggle to control punching walls etc. Not who I want to be or the example I want to set for my son at all.

0% o/d had for years since about 2007 so doubt it’s ever going to be interest baring however do want it gone and not keep using it only either £500 or £1k of it is interest free can’t remember which but it’s not much.

Really don’t want to amble along paying these debts is holding me back know that much. Definitely an element of not getting the instant gratification but also can see without the cards that’s £1k to put towards RR balloons and with the RR paid for that’s a good amount of disposable to throw into moving or not taking as income and expanding portfolio quicker / getting rid of PGs. Catch22 right now for me.

alt80

Very few on here seem to be turning the not being able to spend into occasional worse behaviours. Something everyone on here did in the early stages of the debt reduction or just my problem?

getmore4less

It comes back to business, that where you generate the cash.

Make that generate more cash the debt goes quicker.

You know that's what you need to do and unfortunately it won't be an instant fix but it will accelerate the debt payment and that will roll onto the RR balloon and some free cash flow for some more lifestyle. 

You can't undo a few years of excess in a few months. 

Your last one off BIG fix was refinancing the BTL you only get those once much like selling stuff.

Financialy you are in a very good place to sort this out, a bit of patience till you work out what you can do in the business and then get on with it. 

Having drifted for a while it does take a bit of time to adjust and you still have to get to grips with sharing some of the control and responsibilities to make it happen. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Very few on here seem to be turning the not being able to spend into occasional worse behaviours. Something everyone on here did in the early stages of the debt reduction or just my problem?

As you will have no doubt seen from my diary we have the occasional day where we end up having to spend on our credit cards and add to the debt. We find that bitterly disappointing. But as someone pointed out on my diary, so long as the total debt balance owed on all of the cards is heading in the right direction and coming down then minor blips along the way are just that and nothing to get angry about.

You have almost gone cold turkey with the amount of spending you have cut down over the last couple of months so it is no wonder that you are having outbursts. Just remember to step back and look at the bigger picture.