First Steps to Solvency

NorthernSoulSouthernLife

alt80 said:

@NorthernSoulSouthernLife all well and good someone like me saying I’m going to try to make the right choices actually need to and not for just a couple of days. Don’t trust myself never mind asking wife or anyone else to trust me. Today wonder if it would be better for her to go not for me but for her with all the harm I’ve caused. In laws want her to go with son can’t even say I think they’re wrong. Head in a bad place.

Needs to be a whole lifestyle change honestly not sure I can do it in long run alternative only worse though. Catch22. Not even sure why I’m still posting on here after what I’ve admitted to suppose hoping people with better attitudes to life will rub off on me at some point haha. No taking it back really definitely more ashamed of it than the spending but honestly think the spending is actually a bigger problem for me I’m not a drug addict.

@alt80 gosh sorry I wasn’t for a moment insinuating you were addicted to drugs, more trying to say there is a possible link with mood and spending etc due to the ‘dopamine reward’ system In the brain that gets affected with substance use.

in terms of whether you should separate only you & your wife can work that out . The world & his wife had something to say to me on the subject and all but 2 people were telling me I should leave. I didn’t want to , it wouldn’t have been best for me or my husband & daughter  but it never stopped people trying to tell me they knew best. Your wife has stood by you this far.

big life style changes take a lot of work & time , there will be slip ups along the way but it doesn’t mean youre not making progress. 
I hope this week turns around for you (on an emotional level ) 

RelievedSheff

Happy Birthday @alt80

Hope you have a good day.

tjp70

@alt80 We are all routing for you and I genuinely wish you could see for yourself how much progress you are making. You had a blip, you realised it, you owned up to it and returned what you could to minimise the damage. That’s a massive change. You should feel so proud of that. 

Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day. 

ladyholly

Happy birthday. Carry on with the good work. Whether you see it or not you are doing well and I am sure everyone hewis rooting for you. 

carolbee

Happy birthday, hope you have a good day. You’ve really made some big changes

warby68

Happy Birthday and phew on the FA

enthusiasticsaver

Happy Birthday and great news on the FA. Keep going. 

alt80

Knowing I can finish my block without affecting other parts of my life massive present there tbh. Pressure off a bit. 

Thanks for the birthday wishes lol @RelievedSheff really shouldn’t have mentioned mine was the day after your dog’s birthday haha.

Three page letter off FIL fml. Not gonna lie I want to spend like a madman this morning wife on school run and I’ve logged onto the debt site rather than JL haha don’t know what the !!!!!! is happening to me. Sorting my life out who knows.

enthusiasticsaver

A letter from your FIL? I get he must be worried about his daughter and grandson but that is taking interference to a new level. I once had a letter from my MIL who complained she felt less than welcome because she used to turn up at 9.15am every Sunday morning and one Sunday I refused to rush around getting the kids up and dressed to welcome her. The letter did not go down well with me either. I wouldn't read it if I were you or at least not today. Keep off JL and talk to us instead  

alt80

Doesn’t help wife involving them tbh yesterday she told me she was going if I didn’t speak to her dad. Meant it too.

Ha feel for you on the in-laws front doesn’t sound too different to mine they call my wife and their other kids at a moments notice expecting them all turning up to bbqs / dinner at theirs. All their kids and in-laws go house isn’t massive so more in summer time. Avoid it as much as possible they’re all a bit lefty socialist teacher types conversation kills me. They’ve no interest in property, cars or spending lol.

Tbh can’t even buy anything easily cards under wife’s lock and key until end of week, deleted off Apple etc for the time being.