Time to Face The Music

LittleMissDetermined

I'm cooking this Christmas and still waiting on the final numbers too.  I know it's still only October but I like to plan and be prepared.
LMD x

EssexHebridean

Blow that for a lark RS - I'd be telling them the deadline for deciding whether to visit or not and making it clear that a decision is required! What are they doing, waiting to see if they get a better offer?! 

RelievedSheff

EssexHebridean said:

Blow that for a lark RS - I'd be telling them the deadline for deciding whether to visit or not and making it clear that a decision is required! What are they doing, waiting to see if they get a better offer?! 

No idea.

It is the same every time they decide to come to visit. We tell them we have plans pre booked months in advance and then they drop it on us a few days before that they are coming down so we end up changing all of our plans to suit them.

It really does annoy the hell out of me.

It's the same every Christmas. Never know if they are coming or not so usually end up with loads of food that we could have just not bought. Thankfully most of it will freeze so it doesn't go to waste. But it would be so much easier, and cheaper, if we didn't have to buy so much in the first instance. I know what will happen though, the first year I don't buy it all they will decide that they are coming down.

joedenise

I agree with EH @RelievedSheff.  If they haven't made a decision by XXX then they will have to have what you can find in the freezer!  I'm sure you'll be able to find something even if it isn't what you'd normally have!

I did exactly the same a couple of years ago when DD1 couldn't decide whether she was coming for Christmas or not so I told her it would be pot luck and something out of the freezer if she did turn up with DGD!  She decided about 3 days before Christmas that she would be coming and we ended up with pulled pork done in the SC with a BBQ and have to say it was probably one of the best Christmas dinners we've ever had!  So much nicer than the usual roast!

EssexHebridean

I absolutely wouldn't be changing plans for them like that either I'm afraid - although I appreciate with it being inlaws it can be a tricky one to manage. If it infuriates your OH as much as it clearly does you though, why not just agree that next time they pull the same trick the unified response is "Ahh sorry, no, we won't be about, as I told you on X date we already have plans".  On the christmas thing, the other option there of course is not to cater on the offchance, but if they do announce at short notice that they are arriving, politely let them know that they'll need to bring their own food.  Oddly enough I suspect either one of these things happening might well sort out their taking advantage of you as they are currently!  

alt80

Back in UK for a day and this is the second Christmas discussion I've had ha fml. Agree with the others re in-laws changing plans, it's ridiculous and ultimately they are just taking advantage. You need to say 'no'. I know how difficult that can be with family but if you don't they are just going to carry on. 

Not really Christmas related but I've had it with my sister and her husband; 100% guarantee if we go out with them I'll get handed a bill and he'll order the most expensive things on the menu including bottles of wine and usually a few grossly overpriced single malts. Wouldn't mind if it was something taken in turns or things he'd order if he was paying himself but it never was. We are going to see them soon tbh I'm dreading telling them we are splitting the bill but whilst I know I will be a bit ashamed suggesting it (no reason to be I know) I'm not allowing it to !!!!!! with my family's budget for this coming month.

RelievedSheff

It will be another no spends day today. Number 6 for October.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner will be from stores. Breakfast was cereals, we have both taken our packed lunches to work and dinner tonight is mixed seafood pasta and garlic bread.

Tonight's jobs are:

• walking the dog
• cleaning the kitchen
• cleaning the bathrooms
• vacuuming the house

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Back in UK for a day and this is the second Christmas discussion I've had ha fml. Agree with the others re in-laws changing plans, it's ridiculous and ultimately they are just taking advantage. You need to say 'no'. I know how difficult that can be with family but if you don't they are just going to carry on. 

Not really Christmas related but I've had it with my sister and her husband; 100% guarantee if we go out with them I'll get handed a bill and he'll order the most expensive things on the menu including bottles of wine and usually a few grossly overpriced single malts. Wouldn't mind if it was something taken in turns or things he'd order if he was paying himself but it never was. We are going to see them soon tbh I'm dreading telling them we are splitting the bill but whilst I know I will be a bit ashamed suggesting it (no reason to be I know) I'm not allowing it to !!!!!! with my family's budget for this coming month.

We have tried saying no to the in laws several times but ultimately the other half always ends up backing down. It does annoy the hell out of me.

Although I have put my foot down and said that we are not going up there and using up one of the bank holidays next year. We shall see.

alt80

Seems a bit harsh you not going to see them when I assume they will be there so no issued with them cancelling although iswyacf they are also his parents.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Seems a bit harsh you not going to see them when I assume they will be there so no issued with them cancelling although iswyacf they are also his parents.

It does sound a lot harsher than it really is

It's a 600 mile round trip in the van for a couple of evenings with them. Their house isn't really suitable for overnight guests so we have to take the van. We only insure the van for 6k miles a year so that takes a 10th of our miles for the year for what really only equates to 1 day with them. By the time we get there we are shattered so don't do anything that first afternoon/evening.

Its not like we don't all get on. We do speak every Sunday.