Noisy kids next door.

RelievedSheff

FtbDreaming said:

@RelievedSheff you are a judgemental #%#% and I hope if you do have kids one day they are horrible toffee nosed brats! 

Little wonder your child is a brat with that attitude.

RelievedSheff

katiemac14 said:

Just reading through some of these replies as we are searching for a house to buy right now. I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old. I like to think of myself as considerate, and I teach my wee ones to do the same but again they are so young. I tell them all day everyday to use their indoor voice, no slamming doors, etc. But they are only 1 and 3, they are testing boundaries, practising using their voices learning all the time of cause and effect of shoving a door close, or shutting it gently. We don’t have the money to afford a detached house, so most likely will be a semi detached or terraced house. Like most parents I’d be mortified if my wee ones were putting people off work or studying but I cannot keep them completely quiet all day long, as much as I reiterate to them people could sleeping, working etc. We also read a lot of books together but even that can even be loud as my 18 month old has discovered saying lots of new words so he gets excited if he sees something he can say, so will shout it. They play together and also can fight over toys and books, i intervene as I don’t like hearing them shouting at each other either. I also know they would sit quietly if I tuned on the tv, but at such young ages it’s not recommended so we try to do that as little as possible, tv isn’t on here everyday.

 I don’t know what is expected of a young family, they are learning all day long, and most parents I’m sure do correct when making too much noise but it is inevitable with young toddlers/children. It makes me nervous to buy and move Incase it causes friction with new neighbours. Just another point of view, I understand why the OP is frustrated but it’s not as easy as saying parents don’t try, or the children are bad or misbehaving.

No one is saying that children shouldn't make noise just that they should be respectful to their neighbours. There are ways of limiting the disturbance to neighbours. Buy an end terrace for example, or a terrace where the adjacent living spaces are not on the party wall. Play with the children in a room away from the party wall.

You clearly are conscious of the noise your children make so you wont have a problem.

The problem neighbours are those who make no efforts at all to curtail their childrens behaviour and noise and have little or no respect for their neighbours. You don't appear to fall into that category.  

Scotbot

RelievedSheff said:

katiemac14 said:

Just reading through some of these replies as we are searching for a house to buy right now. I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old. I like to think of myself as considerate, and I teach my wee ones to do the same but again they are so young. I tell them all day everyday to use their indoor voice, no slamming doors, etc. But they are only 1 and 3, they are testing boundaries, practising using their voices learning all the time of cause and effect of shoving a door close, or shutting it gently. We don’t have the money to afford a detached house, so most likely will be a semi detached or terraced house. Like most parents I’d be mortified if my wee ones were putting people off work or studying but I cannot keep them completely quiet all day long, as much as I reiterate to them people could sleeping, working etc. We also read a lot of books together but even that can even be loud as my 18 month old has discovered saying lots of new words so he gets excited if he sees something he can say, so will shout it. They play together and also can fight over toys and books, i intervene as I don’t like hearing them shouting at each other either. I also know they would sit quietly if I tuned on the tv, but at such young ages it’s not recommended so we try to do that as little as possible, tv isn’t on here everyday.

 I don’t know what is expected of a young family, they are learning all day long, and most parents I’m sure do correct when making too much noise but it is inevitable with young toddlers/children. It makes me nervous to buy and move Incase it causes friction with new neighbours. Just another point of view, I understand why the OP is frustrated but it’s not as easy as saying parents don’t try, or the children are bad or misbehaving.

No one is saying that children shouldn't make noise just that they should be respectful to their neighbours. There are ways of limiting the disturbance to neighbours. Buy an end terrace for example, or a terrace where the adjacent living spaces are not on the party wall. Play with the children in a room away from the party wall.

You clearly are conscious of the noise your children make so you wont have a problem.

The problem neighbours are those who make no efforts at all to curtail their childrens behaviour and noise and have little or no respect for their neighbours. You don't appear to fall into that category.  

Apart from a couple of obnoxious posters everyone on the thread has acknowledged that it is a particularly challenging situation at present, working from home and home schooling for such a long time is trying many peoples patience. The OP was after practical tips.

Kids are noisy and dogs bark, it  is obvious whether a neighbour is considerate of others and  trying to keep them under control and when they are people are understanding of lapses in behaviour.  I wouldn't worry about it you sound like a good neighbour.

GixerKate

Wow, talk about getting randomly off topic..anyway.....

Someone mentioned foam earplugs - great idea but after a while they can often hurt.  To the original poster - have you tried custom earplugs?  I ride a motorbike and its a pretty common thing to get, they are custom made to the shape of your ear and can be noise-cancelling ( you can also get really fancy blue tooth ones too).

GDB2222

RelievedSheff said:

katiemac14 said:

Just reading through some of these replies as we are searching for a house to buy right now. I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old. I like to think of myself as considerate, and I teach my wee ones to do the same but again they are so young. I tell them all day everyday to use their indoor voice, no slamming doors, etc. But they are only 1 and 3, they are testing boundaries, practising using their voices learning all the time of cause and effect of shoving a door close, or shutting it gently. We don’t have the money to afford a detached house, so most likely will be a semi detached or terraced house. Like most parents I’d be mortified if my wee ones were putting people off work or studying but I cannot keep them completely quiet all day long, as much as I reiterate to them people could sleeping, working etc. We also read a lot of books together but even that can even be loud as my 18 month old has discovered saying lots of new words so he gets excited if he sees something he can say, so will shout it. They play together and also can fight over toys and books, i intervene as I don’t like hearing them shouting at each other either. I also know they would sit quietly if I tuned on the tv, but at such young ages it’s not recommended so we try to do that as little as possible, tv isn’t on here everyday.

 I don’t know what is expected of a young family, they are learning all day long, and most parents I’m sure do correct when making too much noise but it is inevitable with young toddlers/children. It makes me nervous to buy and move Incase it causes friction with new neighbours. Just another point of view, I understand why the OP is frustrated but it’s not as easy as saying parents don’t try, or the children are bad or misbehaving.

No one is saying that children shouldn't make noise just that they should be respectful to their neighbours. There are ways of limiting the disturbance to neighbours. Buy an end terrace for example, or a terrace where the adjacent living spaces are not on the party wall. Play with the children in a room away from the party wall.

You clearly are conscious of the noise your children make so you wont have a problem.

The problem neighbours are those who make no efforts at all to curtail their childrens behaviour and noise and have little or no respect for their neighbours. You don't appear to fall into that category.  

I’m not sure how practical that all is? An end terrace halves the problem, but it doesn’t go away. Many terraced houses don’t have any rooms that are not on a party wall. 

The OP was complaining about the noise of people on the stairs next door. Some of our stairs are uncarpeted, and those are much, much noisier than the carpeted stairs. Apart from carpet, there’s little the neighbours can do about it, really, as it’s down to the construction of the houses. 

I think some children are simply much more boisterous than others, and it’s as much down to genetics as it is to parenting. 

RelievedSheff

GDB2222 said:

RelievedSheff said:

katiemac14 said:

Just reading through some of these replies as we are searching for a house to buy right now. I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old. I like to think of myself as considerate, and I teach my wee ones to do the same but again they are so young. I tell them all day everyday to use their indoor voice, no slamming doors, etc. But they are only 1 and 3, they are testing boundaries, practising using their voices learning all the time of cause and effect of shoving a door close, or shutting it gently. We don’t have the money to afford a detached house, so most likely will be a semi detached or terraced house. Like most parents I’d be mortified if my wee ones were putting people off work or studying but I cannot keep them completely quiet all day long, as much as I reiterate to them people could sleeping, working etc. We also read a lot of books together but even that can even be loud as my 18 month old has discovered saying lots of new words so he gets excited if he sees something he can say, so will shout it. They play together and also can fight over toys and books, i intervene as I don’t like hearing them shouting at each other either. I also know they would sit quietly if I tuned on the tv, but at such young ages it’s not recommended so we try to do that as little as possible, tv isn’t on here everyday.

 I don’t know what is expected of a young family, they are learning all day long, and most parents I’m sure do correct when making too much noise but it is inevitable with young toddlers/children. It makes me nervous to buy and move Incase it causes friction with new neighbours. Just another point of view, I understand why the OP is frustrated but it’s not as easy as saying parents don’t try, or the children are bad or misbehaving.

No one is saying that children shouldn't make noise just that they should be respectful to their neighbours. There are ways of limiting the disturbance to neighbours. Buy an end terrace for example, or a terrace where the adjacent living spaces are not on the party wall. Play with the children in a room away from the party wall.

You clearly are conscious of the noise your children make so you wont have a problem.

The problem neighbours are those who make no efforts at all to curtail their childrens behaviour and noise and have little or no respect for their neighbours. You don't appear to fall into that category.  

I’m not sure how practical that all is? An end terrace halves the problem, but it doesn’t go away. Many terraced houses don’t have any rooms that are not on a party wall. 

The OP was complaining about the noise of people on the stairs next door. Some of our stairs are uncarpeted, and those are much, much noisier than the carpeted stairs. Apart from carpet, there’s little the neighbours can do about it, really, as it’s down to the construction of the houses. 

I think some children are simply much more boisterous than others, and it’s as much down to genetics as it is to parenting. 

I would say that most terraced houses have rooms on party walls by their very nature, but you can look at the layout of a particular house and those neighbouring it. If both houses have the living room on the party wall for example then this is going to cause more of a problem with noise nuisance then say a hallway adjacent a living room.

The layout of the rooms in attached houses makes a big difference to how sound transmits and whether or not it becomes a problem.

GDB2222

I agree. It used to be a big selling point with semi detached houses If they were “halls adjacent”, so the main rooms are not on the party wall.  I don’t see that mentioned much nowadays, though. Perhaps with modern houses the sound insulation is that much better that it doesn’t matter?

jamielutz1987

@Sophie_10

I sympathise with your situation. Unfortunately with noisy children/adults/dogs next door it is very unlikely that you have any avenues of enforcing quiet.

And it's often the luck of the draw. We lived with our parents for a little while a few years ago, in a nice large old detatched house (not the barely-detatched <1000sqft new-build detatched houses you see nowadays) in Essex. The neighbouring property (also detatched) had a large garden where their kids and 2 dogs would be unleased at the crack of dawn and until late into the evenings, screaming, barking, etc in and out of the house. My parents were used to it but it drove me crazy. Summer was an absolute nightmare because I just couldn't open any windows.

Paradoxically, the quietest place I've lived in was when we rented a 16th floor ex-council flat in east London. The build quality was so good (concrete?) that you could barely hear anything from outside or adjacent/adjoint flats.

I hope you get to move sooner rather than later, good luck!

[Deleted User]

orangecrush said:

Deleted_User said:

orangecrush said:

Deleted_User said:

orangecrush said:

If it wasn't a child making noise, if it was an adult, I bet everyone would be jumping to the defence of the adult who has a right to make noise in their own house. 

Again, it depends on the level of noise, which is what so many people on here seem to be missing. 

I repeat, nobody on here is suggesting kids should be kept quiet all day. But there is a difference between general playful noise and shrieking/shouting. 

So yes, if an adult is in their house making normal living noise, then that is perfectly acceptable. If they're having loud parties every night then that is not, and i'm sure you'll find majority of people on here agree, not "jumping to their defence". 

Kids should be no exception to noise complaints, and nobody is going to convince me otherwise.

The acceptable level of noise is completely subjective.  OP has said she's sensitive to noise.

I am too, so I completely sympathise. 

Repeat all you want but there was at least one person literally saying children should be seen and not heard!  And another that any noise is occurring because a parent can't control a child.  So you may repeat that nobody is saying that, but you're incorrect, at least two people are implying it.  I was merely countering that argument, not saying OP is wrong or that unreasonable noise DOES exist.  Kids make noise.  People make noise.  Some noise is unreasonable.  Some noise is not.  We cannot determine whether OP's neighbour noise is unreasonable.  So it's ridiculous of those posters blaming poor parenting and suggesting that kids making noise is poor parenting as that just perpetuates the idea that any noise is unreasonable, not just excessive noise.

But then you also have the posters who have suggested that any level of noise from kids, however excessive, should just be accepted because they're kids...

 That’s not what I said, nor what I implied, so take if that’s your issue then take it up with the people that did say that, not with me. 

I wasn't the one who suggested that "children should be seen and not heard!" which you so clearly took issue with, so take your own advice and address that poster, not me. 

mimi1234

@Sophie_10 my sympathies with you also.  You can't control kids and there will always be times when they play up but generally if the parents have brought them up well, it's not a regular occurrence.  

I am in your situation too but unfortunately for us, the noise makers are grown adults who should know better.  They make our life a nightmare, continuous door slamming (7am through to 2am) but Mum is not prepared to take it further (anonymously called the council who said door slamming is normal household noise!) nor will she move so I am just having to bide my time.  If she was in good health, I would have scarpered years ago but she is not well and needs someone to care for her.  Granted the houses are poorly built, we've always been told to be kind and considerate from when we were little so we don't slam or bang doors.  We even had those "quieteners" fitted so even if someone did try to slam a door, it wouldn't make any noise.  

I will never ever live in a terraced house and I am not sure semi detached will be right for me either.  God knows how I will afford a detached house but I will keep hunting and one day I will move!
 
Anyway, enough of my venting.  Good luck and I hope things are better for you soon.  Ear plugs / ear phones are good but they will make your ears sore, very sore even!