Noisy kids next door.

SpiderLegs

I think it would useful actually to properly quantify the problem, as from what I’ve just re-read this unknown number of kids, of unknown ages, are running up the stairs and screaming at various points in time when the OP is trying to work. We don’t know how long this goes on for other than it’s ‘When they are in’

we don’t know how long they are in for or how long the OP is in for. It could be ten hours a day or it could be the half an hour when the OP is conscious of it. 

We also know that they will be in for longer at the moment and that the OP is working from home, so two temporary factors that will make the problem worse.

There are no complaints of said children running amok outside the property or doing anything other than what appears to be playing, apart from some mention of low grade herb theft 🤣

Despite this lack of info, some members are in uproar about this constant torture caused by these feral miscreants.

To me it all sounds like a massive overreaction but I’ll reserve judgement until the OP gives some actual details other than ‘they run up the stairs and scream’

Sophie_10

SpiderLegs said:

Sophie_10 said:

SpiderLegs said:

Sophie_10 said:

I think the stairs are fixed to my wall. I will definitely look into doing that and hopefully second time lucky he will understand!
Exactly, I feel like sometimes people use the fact that they have kids in a terrace or semi detached as an excuse to make whatever noise they like. I'm sure if I was playing music at 8pm quite loudly through their walls while his kids were asleep, he would let me know!

I think you’re starting to come across as a bit entitled to be honest.
The kids are playing. They make noise. If you have kids you’ll soon understand that, and you will probably enjoy the fact that they do so. The fact that you are trying to work during the day in a terrace next door with thin walls isn’t really anyone else’s problem to deal with except your own. There are plenty good of suggestions being made by others, none of which involve blaming the children or their parents for living, what by the sounds of it, is a normal life.

Good luck fixing this issue, but please try to understand that it’s your circumstances that are the cause of the problem.

Hi,

Oh wow, I do apologise if I come across that way, that was not my intention at all! I just want both of us to be respectful with regard to noise, as while we all have different circumstances, we are all living next door to each other and I think that is reasonable. I do take on the suggestions people are making, are you saying I am not sorry?

If people are not living in a mutually respectful way and with a slight lack of conscientiousness, whether they have kids or not, I will speak up I'm afraid.

Please refrain from that self-righteous "you don't have kids, therefore, you can't complain" attitude. I would say that comes across a bit self-righteous in all honesty!  

I do feel for the fact that everyone must be struggling at the moment, including people with kids and I did say that. I am just at my wit's end, as it is a difficult and awkward situation. 

Thank you, good luck to you also  

I don’t think you quite understood my point.

you say you want ‘both of us to be respectful with regard to noise’. But that is at a level which you personally find acceptable. So even though you are trying to dress this up as mutual respect, you’re just really asking them to come down to your level of acceptability which sounds a lot like you want ‘them to be respectful with regard to your definition of noise’. 

I am saying that what they find acceptable is probably based on their experience of having children who naturally make more noise than an adult. That is clearly different to your view which is fair enough, but unless they are breaking the law, then your options are limited to personal choices. You appear to have segued that down the ‘you dont have kids so you can’t complain’ route, which is another complete misinterpretation of what I wrote, but I will let you off that as you are clearly a little emotional.

"I will let you off that as you are clearly a little emotional." There is really no need for rude comments like that, so yeah let's just say we have clearly misinterpreted each other, as I'm not even going to dignify your reply with a more extensive response after your petty and belittling comments. 

Sophie_10

SpiderLegs said:

I think it would useful actually to properly quantify the problem, as from what I’ve just re-read this unknown number of kids, of unknown ages, are running up the stairs and screaming at various points in time when the OP is trying to work. We don’t know how long this goes on for other than it’s ‘When they are in’

we don’t know how long they are in for or how long the OP is in for. It could be ten hours a day or it could be the half an hour when the OP is conscious of it. 

We also know that they will be in for longer at the moment and that the OP is working from home, so two temporary factors that will make the problem worse.

There are no complaints of said children running amok outside the property or doing anything other than what appears to be playing, apart from some mention of low grade herb theft 🤣

Despite this lack of info, some members are in uproar about this constant torture caused by these feral miscreants.

To me it all sounds like a massive overreaction but I’ll reserve judgement until the OP gives some actual details other than ‘they run up the stairs and scream’

I have got the helpful advice I need from people who didn't need to revert to horrible little self-righteous comments to give themselves a rise, so I'm going to leave this thread here before this little woman "gets too emotional" of course
I'm sure you would be absolutely fine with someone running past your garden and ripping away the plants in it, but demean it to suit your point I guess.

SpiderLegs

Sophie_10 said:

“I will let you off that as you are clearly a little emotional." There is really no need for rude comments like that, so yeah let's just say we have clearly misinterpreted each other, as I'm not even going to dignify your reply with a more extensive response after your petty and belittling comments. 

I mean it’s clear that you are emotional because you’ve felt the need to create this thread on the topic. It’s just a statement of fact, not rude in the slightest and not meant to be judgemental.

GDB2222

Sophie_10 said:

SpiderLegs said:

I think it would useful actually to properly quantify the problem, as from what I’ve just re-read this unknown number of kids, of unknown ages, are running up the stairs and screaming at various points in time when the OP is trying to work. We don’t know how long this goes on for other than it’s ‘When they are in’

we don’t know how long they are in for or how long the OP is in for. It could be ten hours a day or it could be the half an hour when the OP is conscious of it. 

We also know that they will be in for longer at the moment and that the OP is working from home, so two temporary factors that will make the problem worse.

There are no complaints of said children running amok outside the property or doing anything other than what appears to be playing, apart from some mention of low grade herb theft 🤣

Despite this lack of info, some members are in uproar about this constant torture caused by these feral miscreants.

To me it all sounds like a massive overreaction but I’ll reserve judgement until the OP gives some actual details other than ‘they run up the stairs and scream’

I have got the helpful advice I need from people who didn't need to revert to horrible little self-righteous comments to give themselves a rise, so I'm going to leave this thread here before this little woman "gets too emotional" of course
I'm sure you would be absolutely fine with someone running past your garden and ripping away the plants in it, but demean it to suit your point I guess.

There have been loads of threads on this forum about noise, and they nearly always end with a squabble about how much noise people should have to put up with. However, there's no point in your getting drawn into that discussion, let alone arguing with people about the fact that you find the noise from your neighbours disruptive.

This is a practical issue for you about what steps you can take to make things better. I'm pleased you received some helpful advice on that score.

orangecrush

Deleted_User said:

orangecrush said:

Deleted_User said:

orangecrush said:

If it wasn't a child making noise, if it was an adult, I bet everyone would be jumping to the defence of the adult who has a right to make noise in their own house. 

Again, it depends on the level of noise, which is what so many people on here seem to be missing. 

I repeat, nobody on here is suggesting kids should be kept quiet all day. But there is a difference between general playful noise and shrieking/shouting. 

So yes, if an adult is in their house making normal living noise, then that is perfectly acceptable. If they're having loud parties every night then that is not, and i'm sure you'll find majority of people on here agree, not "jumping to their defence". 

Kids should be no exception to noise complaints, and nobody is going to convince me otherwise.

The acceptable level of noise is completely subjective.  OP has said she's sensitive to noise.

I am too, so I completely sympathise. 

Repeat all you want but there was at least one person literally saying children should be seen and not heard!  And another that any noise is occurring because a parent can't control a child.  So you may repeat that nobody is saying that, but you're incorrect, at least two people are implying it.  I was merely countering that argument, not saying OP is wrong or that unreasonable noise DOES exist.  Kids make noise.  People make noise.  Some noise is unreasonable.  Some noise is not.  We cannot determine whether OP's neighbour noise is unreasonable.  So it's ridiculous of those posters blaming poor parenting and suggesting that kids making noise is poor parenting as that just perpetuates the idea that any noise is unreasonable, not just excessive noise.

But then you also have the posters who have suggested that any level of noise from kids, however excessive, should just be accepted because they're kids...

 That’s not what I said, nor what I implied, so take if that’s your issue then take it up with the people that did say that, not with me. 

orangecrush

Sophie_10 said:

orangecrush said:

Deleted_User said:

orangecrush said:

If it wasn't a child making noise, if it was an adult, I bet everyone would be jumping to the defence of the adult who has a right to make noise in their own house. 

Again, it depends on the level of noise, which is what so many people on here seem to be missing. 

I repeat, nobody on here is suggesting kids should be kept quiet all day. But there is a difference between general playful noise and shrieking/shouting. 

So yes, if an adult is in their house making normal living noise, then that is perfectly acceptable. If they're having loud parties every night then that is not, and i'm sure you'll find majority of people on here agree, not "jumping to their defence". 

Kids should be no exception to noise complaints, and nobody is going to convince me otherwise.

The acceptable level of noise is completely subjective.  OP has said she's sensitive to noise.

I am too, so I completely sympathise. 

Repeat all you want but there was at least one person literally saying children should be seen and not heard!  And another that any noise is occurring because a parent can't control a child.  So you may repeat that nobody is saying that, but you're incorrect, at least two people are implying it.  I was merely countering that argument, not saying OP is wrong or that unreasonable noise DOES exist.  Kids make noise.  People make noise.  Some noise is unreasonable.  Some noise is not.  We cannot determine whether OP's neighbour noise is unreasonable.  So it's ridiculous of those posters blaming poor parenting and suggesting that kids making noise is poor parenting as that just perpetuates the idea that any noise is unreasonable, not just excessive noise.

To confirm, it is not just me who has complained about the noises I am experiencing next door - it is not just a sensitive noise issue that people keep hanging on to. 
Ok, maybe I should do a study and bring groups of people round to observe whether they find the noise unreasonable, tally it up and then come to my conclusion? Surely, there has got to be a line?!
Someone could be evidently loud, but be used to this level of loudness - surely just because noise is subjective it doesn't then give people an excuse for remaining loud and inconsiderate.
I'm sorry, but if someone is letting their kids bang up and down the stairs continually and be intensely loud without correcting this, knowing that they are living in a terrace with thin walls and have been approached before about this issue, I would say parenting does play a part as well as a lack of care for those next door. Nobody will convince me otherwise either and I will repeat this if needs be.

Erm. That reply wasn’t to you. 

Norman_Castle

SpiderLegs said:

I think it would useful actually to properly quantify the problem, as from what I’ve just re-read this unknown number of kids, of unknown ages, are running up the stairs and screaming at various points in time when the OP is trying to work. We don’t know how long this goes on for other than it’s ‘When they are in’

To me it all sounds like a massive overreaction but I’ll reserve judgement until the OP gives some actual details other than ‘they run up the stairs and scream’

"To me it all sounds like a massive overreaction but I’ll reserve judgement". You've already judged it as a "massive overreaction" and now need convincing its not. What would be useful is to accept the OPs judgement that the noise is excessive and that her complaint is reasonable. She shouldn't need to waste her time convincing you.

I've had noisy neighbours and what starts with living with the noise becomes a battle getting other people to accept that the neighbours are noisy. It feels like there's a pre set response, always from people who have never had noisy neighbours, that the complaint is unreasonable.

Beeboo23

I was really noise sensitive when studying as a student. What really helped me was getting a ten hour white noise loop on YouTube and listening to it with headphones in. It’s loud enough to drown everything out but doesn’t have lyrics/music so isn’t distracting. 

katiemac14

Just reading through some of these replies as we are searching for a house to buy right now. I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old. I like to think of myself as considerate, and I teach my wee ones to do the same but again they are so young. I tell them all day everyday to use their indoor voice, no slamming doors, etc. But they are only 1 and 3, they are testing boundaries, practising using their voices learning all the time of cause and effect of shoving a door close, or shutting it gently. We don’t have the money to afford a detached house, so most likely will be a semi detached or terraced house. Like most parents I’d be mortified if my wee ones were putting people off work or studying but I cannot keep them completely quiet all day long, as much as I reiterate to them people could sleeping, working etc. We also read a lot of books together but even that can even be loud as my 18 month old has discovered saying lots of new words so he gets excited if he sees something he can say, so will shout it. They play together and also can fight over toys and books, i intervene as I don’t like hearing them shouting at each other either. I also know they would sit quietly if I tuned on the tv, but at such young ages it’s not recommended so we try to do that as little as possible, tv isn’t on here everyday.

 I don’t know what is expected of a young family, they are learning all day long, and most parents I’m sure do correct when making too much noise but it is inevitable with young toddlers/children. It makes me nervous to buy and move Incase it causes friction with new neighbours. Just another point of view, I understand why the OP is frustrated but it’s not as easy as saying parents don’t try, or the children are bad or misbehaving.