Noisy kids next door.

[Deleted User]

davilown said:

Whilst I sympathise with your noise sensitivity Op, you'll probably find any children who live next door (I'm assuming its a relatively new build house) will be 'noisy'.  I lived in a link-detached (only linked by the garages) and I could quite clearly hear the neighbours walking up and down the stairs, and having general (normal level volume) chat when our house was quiet.  They didn't have kids and I certainly wouldn't class them as noisy.
 It has very little to do with discipline or parental upbringing - kids have different energy levels to adults and need to be able to express themselves. Not all kids want to sit quietly with book all day, neither do their parents want them sat in front of iPads or TV.  They're doing absolutely nothing wrong.
I think your only solution is to move or use noise cancelling headphones. 

Nobody is suggesting that kids should sit quietly all day. You've completely missed what people have been saying including the OP. 

There is a difference between general everyday noise and all day screaming, which is what the OP is saying they are experiencing. 

Dogs also have different energy levels to humans. Would you agree then its acceptable for a dog to be barking all day?

FtbDreaming

I have 3 kids and my 8 year old is loud and a squealer... it has gotten worse and worse on a daily basis since lockdown and we are at the end of our tether. What does the op suggest we do to stop it? Medicare and sedate her? Lock her in her room? Take her out all day to keep the neighbours happy? Chastise the child? 

Honestly if you think the parents are any happier with the noise or have any control over it then you must be delusional. Nobody wants to put up with that 24/7 but unfortunately that’s where we are when the kids have been stuck home for 5 months! 

RelievedSheff

FtbDreaming said:

I have 3 kids and my 8 year old is loud and a squealer... it has gotten worse and worse on a daily basis since lockdown and we are at the end of our tether. What does the op suggest we do to stop it? Medicare and sedate her? Lock her in her room? Take her out all day to keep the neighbours happy? Chastise the child? 

Honestly if you think the parents are any happier with the noise or have any control over it then you must be delusional. Nobody wants to put up with that 24/7 but unfortunately that’s where we are when the kids have been stuck home for 5 months! 

You are the parent, you should know by now how to control the child and at 8 years old quite frankly they are old enough to know better. They are only doing this as you are letting them!!

I really do feel for your neighbours.

iwb100

Ha - this thread does come across as 'middle class student complains about kid in rough terraced area'....I know its not that but it just feels close. Can imagine the OP 'Yah Issie they are just soh noisy, its like, they don't ever have French lessons or go to the stables. Yah. They don't even have a nanny."
I'm only kidding and in reality these sorts of things are really annoying. The kids do sound a bit unruly but I guess in student houses in those sorts of areas that is what you are liable to get sadly. If I'd run up the stairs noisily as a kid I'd have got a whack - and I'm thinking the OP wouldn't want that. Times have moved on kids are noisier now - its not all a bad thing. I'd echo the noise cancelling headphones idea - and ear buds too for sleeping!

RelievedSheff

iwb100 said:

Ha - this thread does come across as 'middle class student complains about kid in rough terraced area'....I know its not that but it just feels close. Can imagine the OP 'Yah Issie they are just soh noisy, its like, they don't ever have French lessons or go to the stables. Yah. They don't even have a nanny."
I'm only kidding and in reality these sorts of things are really annoying. The kids do sound a bit unruly but I guess in student houses in those sorts of areas that is what you are liable to get sadly. If I'd run up the stairs noisily as a kid I'd have got a whack - and I'm thinking the OP wouldn't want that. Times have moved on kids are noisier now - its not all a bad thing. I'd echo the noise cancelling headphones idea - and ear buds too for sleeping!

Kids are only noisier because their parents don't teach them any different!

Heres_the_deal

RelievedSheff said:

Heres_the_deal said:

A detached house is not a panacea for a quiet life.

I live in a large detached property that's separated from one neighbour by a 15 metre driveway. On the other side, by a 20 metre garden. My back garden is over 40 metres in depth and joins onto the garden of the house behind. I have no children living in the area, and no budding rappers with sub-bass units: Sounds bliss! Not..

On one side there is a dog that barks like a dripping tap, sometimes up to 2am and then again from 5am. On the other side, there is a dog that yaps everyday from 8am to 6pm and behind me the owners have regular late night BBQ's till 3am. In the summer there are a multitude of different tunes emanating across the gardens, ranging from Norman Wisdom (Albanian family), Frank Sinatra (Care Home Garden Parties), Some weird Russian based Cossack stuff (Egor from down the road) and the bloody woman behind who likes ABBA.  The latest fad that's been ongoing for over 12 months is the hot tub, not necessarily the tub or its occupants, but the hum of the pump 24/7.  Now you see why I want to move. 

But at least you can go in your house, close the windows and doors and escape the noise.

In an attached property with sound transmission issues there just isn't any escape from the noise next door.

Having the windows shut does not block out the dogs barking, especially the one out nearly all night. In the summer, however, your choice is to sweat buckets, or open the windows and complete the harmony parts to Waterloo.  Out of the two , I agree that my situation if much better.  

orangecrush

RelievedSheff said:

FtbDreaming said:

I have 3 kids and my 8 year old is loud and a squealer... it has gotten worse and worse on a daily basis since lockdown and we are at the end of our tether. What does the op suggest we do to stop it? Medicare and sedate her? Lock her in her room? Take her out all day to keep the neighbours happy? Chastise the child? 

Honestly if you think the parents are any happier with the noise or have any control over it then you must be delusional. Nobody wants to put up with that 24/7 but unfortunately that’s where we are when the kids have been stuck home for 5 months! 

You are the parent, you should know by now how to control the child and at 8 years old quite frankly they are old enough to know better. They are only doing this as you are letting them!!

I really do feel for your neighbours.

It is not a parenting issue, good grief, the kid is 8.  8 year olds play, that will involve being loud sometimes.  This reply is like the other poster who said children should be seen and not heard... this is not the Victorian era.  Not everyone has a nanny or help that can sit and supervise constantly.  As FtbDreaming says, what are they to do?  Play is an integral part of child development and to deny the the right to play that is abuse.

If it wasn't a child making noise, if it was an adult, I bet everyone would be jumping to the defence of the adult who has a right to make noise in their own house.   I completely sympathise with the OP but to suggest that children can be "controlled" in such a manner is completely unrealistic, and that unrealisticness contributes to people having the wrong expectations about what living in terraced/ joined-on housing is like.

iwb100

RelievedSheff said:

iwb100 said:

Ha - this thread does come across as 'middle class student complains about kid in rough terraced area'....I know its not that but it just feels close. Can imagine the OP 'Yah Issie they are just soh noisy, its like, they don't ever have French lessons or go to the stables. Yah. They don't even have a nanny."
I'm only kidding and in reality these sorts of things are really annoying. The kids do sound a bit unruly but I guess in student houses in those sorts of areas that is what you are liable to get sadly. If I'd run up the stairs noisily as a kid I'd have got a whack - and I'm thinking the OP wouldn't want that. Times have moved on kids are noisier now - its not all a bad thing. I'd echo the noise cancelling headphones idea - and ear buds too for sleeping!

Kids are only noisier because their parents don't teach them any different!

Should kids not be allowed to be noisy? Within reason. Isn't it part of being a kid?

Scotbot

Heres_the_deal said:

RelievedSheff said:

Heres_the_deal said:

A detached house is not a panacea for a quiet life.

I live in a large detached property that's separated from one neighbour by a 15 metre driveway. On the other side, by a 20 metre garden. My back garden is over 40 metres in depth and joins onto the garden of the house behind. I have no children living in the area, and no budding rappers with sub-bass units: Sounds bliss! Not..

On one side there is a dog that barks like a dripping tap, sometimes up to 2am and then again from 5am. On the other side, there is a dog that yaps everyday from 8am to 6pm and behind me the owners have regular late night BBQ's till 3am. In the summer there are a multitude of different tunes emanating across the gardens, ranging from Norman Wisdom (Albanian family), Frank Sinatra (Care Home Garden Parties), Some weird Russian based Cossack stuff (Egor from down the road) and the bloody woman behind who likes ABBA.  The latest fad that's been ongoing for over 12 months is the hot tub, not necessarily the tub or its occupants, but the hum of the pump 24/7.  Now you see why I want to move. 

But at least you can go in your house, close the windows and doors and escape the noise.

In an attached property with sound transmission issues there just isn't any escape from the noise next door.

Having the windows shut does not block out the dogs barking, especially the one out nearly all night. In the summer, however, your choice is to sweat buckets, or open the windows and complete the harmony parts to Waterloo.  Out of the two , I agree that my situation if much better.  

I agree dogs barking at nigbt are annoying. Even more so when it is 2am and you realise it is your bloody dog and you are going to have to get up and sort it out.  It was a fox and the doggy door has been closed overnight as a result.  I  cannot understand how any owner can sleep through a constantly barking dog, even if it doesn't bother you, which it should, it is just inconsiderate. 

[Deleted User]

orangecrush said:

If it wasn't a child making noise, if it was an adult, I bet everyone would be jumping to the defence of the adult who has a right to make noise in their own house. 

Again, it depends on the level of noise, which is what so many people on here seem to be missing. 

I repeat, nobody on here is suggesting kids should be kept quiet all day. But there is a difference between general playful noise and shrieking/shouting. 

So yes, if an adult is in their house making normal living noise, then that is perfectly acceptable. If they're having loud parties every night then that is not, and i'm sure you'll find majority of people on here agree, not "jumping to their defence". 

Kids should be no exception to noise complaints, and nobody is going to convince me otherwise.