Sorting a marriage

RobHT

AskAsk said:

RobHT said:

Comms69 said:

RobHT said:

Not sure if who replied are all women , but anyway the thing is for both of us, we would agree on that, different reasons behind, but I need to make it sure that is done properly.
It's a bit early for us to talk about it, anyway I have to start one day, and obviously this contract works if signed from both parties, so...

Talking for myself instead, it's precisely because is not right at all to give money to someone that decided a change of life, and this happens too frequently, and in UK I've seen this precisely, people paying the other side life, in the meantime receiving other money from the new partner...
Don't tell me that is right! 

No im a man. And frankly your suggestions so far are deplorable. 

Thankfully most women will see that and avoid you like the plague. 

All the women are free to go away from me, no problem, but leave on their own not with my money, house and car.
It seems you like to be ripped off just for a change of life of your partner, but ok, I don't want to comment furthermore, your problem then, why should I cry for your loss  

AskAsk said:

RobHT said:

Not sure if who replied are all women , but anyway the thing is for both of us, we would agree on that, different reasons behind, but I need to make it sure that is done properly.
It's a bit early for us to talk about it, anyway I have to start one day, and obviously this contract works if signed from both parties, so...

Talking for myself instead, it's precisely because is not right at all to give money to someone that decided a change of life, and this happens too frequently, and in UK I've seen this precisely, people paying the other side life, in the meantime receiving other money from the new partner...
Don't tell me that is right! 

in the UK, unlike the US, you can't agree on split of assets in a contract as that would be ignored under divorce laws.  when it comes to splitting assets here is the law

http://bevanevemy.co.uk/how-to-divide-assets-in-a-uk-divorce/

you can agree between yourselves to split assets during divorce proceedings but often people tend to become greedy and malicious when they get divorced as most divorce are not amicable and things may have become ugly when it gets to that point.

generally women with young children benefit under UK divorce laws, if they are the one without assets.  the person with the most assets is generally the one who loses out as that has to be shared 50/50 pretty much if not more to the woman as she has children to look after and house.

Thanks for the explanation, now I probably understand the situation of my friends in UK, but I have one last critical question.
Just in case of "I wanna another one dear", what happens to my assets even if she has a young kid?
I mean, she decided to leave me, so why should I maintain her?
I would take the kid alone or pay benefits for the child, not her rent, car, make up and all the other things she will cry for, you understood right?
That't the job of the next unlucky man, why this is not fair to the guy above is very unclear to me.

Another way to resolve this would be changing the way to interpret the marriage or living together, how can I make the living together in a way that everyone maintains his own stuff after break up by personal choice?
For example, she living under my roof, a kid or even more, but not married, does the same 50/50 law apply? In other countries applies, but it's not the 50/50, it's just about childcare, nothing to the woman for leisure, even the house rent.
I may understand the matter of having to pay rent to the kids that are living with my ex, but guess what, I would propose to take care of them rather than giving them to her and pay her the life full of leisure, 50/50 to me sounds crazy, and that could explain my friends situation, with the only difference that they had a marriage.

if you are not married and just live together then the split of assets fall under asset split law, so it would established as whose assets is whose.  so for example, if i own a house and my partner owns a house, then when we split, we would each keep our own house.  the 50/50 split is only when you are married and get divorced.  split of assets under divorce laws override normal asset split laws as you are considered one entity when you are married and not two separate people.

if you are married then when you divorce the courts will make sure your wife is also looked after and not just your son or daughter as you have a responsibility to her as well as your children, even if it is her decision to leave you.  and as she will be looking after the children, she will need an income as she may not be able to work to look after them.
if you are not married but have children then when you split, you would have to pay child maintenance but you wouldn't have to take care of your wife.

Thanks a lot, now it makes more sense, but still amazing the UK law  

rach_k

Why do you have "concerns as a man"?  UK law doesn't seek to advantage women getting a divorce, it looks to ensure that if there is a lower earner, male or female, that they are treated fairly.  You're assuming that your wife wouldn't earn as much as you, but even if you went for a more traditional-style arrangement of little wifey staying at home to raise the kids and cook your dinner, she might one day have a great idea or a lucky lottery ticket.  If you'd supported her - financially and/or emotionally - for years, then she suddenly got rich and ran off with a nicer man, wouldn't you feel entitled to some of the money she earned during your marriage?  Support in a marriage, or any partnership, isn't just about money.  If you think it is or you don't value the non-monetary contributions, I'd suggest that marriage isn't for you!

Accountant_Kerry

RobHT said:

AskAsk said:

RobHT said:

Comms69 said:

RobHT said:

Not sure if who replied are all women , but anyway the thing is for both of us, we would agree on that, different reasons behind, but I need to make it sure that is done properly.
It's a bit early for us to talk about it, anyway I have to start one day, and obviously this contract works if signed from both parties, so...

Talking for myself instead, it's precisely because is not right at all to give money to someone that decided a change of life, and this happens too frequently, and in UK I've seen this precisely, people paying the other side life, in the meantime receiving other money from the new partner...
Don't tell me that is right! 

No im a man. And frankly your suggestions so far are deplorable. 

Thankfully most women will see that and avoid you like the plague. 

All the women are free to go away from me, no problem, but leave on their own not with my money, house and car.
It seems you like to be ripped off just for a change of life of your partner, but ok, I don't want to comment furthermore, your problem then, why should I cry for your loss  

AskAsk said:

RobHT said:

Not sure if who replied are all women , but anyway the thing is for both of us, we would agree on that, different reasons behind, but I need to make it sure that is done properly.
It's a bit early for us to talk about it, anyway I have to start one day, and obviously this contract works if signed from both parties, so...

Talking for myself instead, it's precisely because is not right at all to give money to someone that decided a change of life, and this happens too frequently, and in UK I've seen this precisely, people paying the other side life, in the meantime receiving other money from the new partner...
Don't tell me that is right! 

in the UK, unlike the US, you can't agree on split of assets in a contract as that would be ignored under divorce laws.  when it comes to splitting assets here is the law

http://bevanevemy.co.uk/how-to-divide-assets-in-a-uk-divorce/

you can agree between yourselves to split assets during divorce proceedings but often people tend to become greedy and malicious when they get divorced as most divorce are not amicable and things may have become ugly when it gets to that point.

generally women with young children benefit under UK divorce laws, if they are the one without assets.  the person with the most assets is generally the one who loses out as that has to be shared 50/50 pretty much if not more to the woman as she has children to look after and house.

Thanks for the explanation, now I probably understand the situation of my friends in UK, but I have one last critical question.
Just in case of "I wanna another one dear", what happens to my assets even if she has a young kid?
I mean, she decided to leave me, so why should I maintain her?
I would take the kid alone or pay benefits for the child, not her rent, car, make up and all the other things she will cry for, you understood right?
That't the job of the next unlucky man, why this is not fair to the guy above is very unclear to me.

Another way to resolve this would be changing the way to interpret the marriage or living together, how can I make the living together in a way that everyone maintains his own stuff after break up by personal choice?
For example, she living under my roof, a kid or even more, but not married, does the same 50/50 law apply? In other countries applies, but it's not the 50/50, it's just about childcare, nothing to the woman for leisure, even the house rent.
I may understand the matter of having to pay rent to the kids that are living with my ex, but guess what, I would propose to take care of them rather than giving them to her and pay her the life full of leisure, 50/50 to me sounds crazy, and that could explain my friends situation, with the only difference that they had a marriage.

if you are not married and just live together then the split of assets fall under asset split law, so it would established as whose assets is whose.  so for example, if i own a house and my partner owns a house, then when we split, we would each keep our own house.  the 50/50 split is only when you are married and get divorced.  split of assets under divorce laws override normal asset split laws as you are considered one entity when you are married and not two separate people.

if you are married then when you divorce the courts will make sure your wife is also looked after and not just your son or daughter as you have a responsibility to her as well as your children, even if it is her decision to leave you.  and as she will be looking after the children, she will need an income as she may not be able to work to look after them.
if you are not married but have children then when you split, you would have to pay child maintenance but you wouldn't have to take care of your wife.

Thanks a lot, now it makes more sense, but still amazing the UK law  

Form an orderly queue ladies. 
In all seriousness if you are not willing to support your children if they live with your hypothetical wife who may leave you (and you attitude makes that quite likely) then don't get married or have kids. 

burlingtonfl6

In the US the divorce laws are so in favour of women I can understand why men don't want to get married.
If things in the UK get like the states we are going to see marriage rates plummet too.

Comms69

burlingtonfl6 said:

In the US the divorce laws are so in favour of women I can understand why men don't want to get married.
If things in the UK get like the states we are going to see marriage rates plummet too.

But they arent in favour of women de facto. 

The reality is that women still do the majority of raising children, and that is what is causing this apparent bias

Accountant_Kerry

Comms69 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

In the US the divorce laws are so in favour of women I can understand why men don't want to get married.
If things in the UK get like the states we are going to see marriage rates plummet too.

But they arent in favour of women de facto. 

The reality is that women still do the majority of raising children, and that is what is causing this apparent bias

agreed the laws across the board try and recognise the non-paid or lesser paid contribution of all parties to the marriage. 
If people want to live off the back of someone else's non-paid hard work with regards to child raising for example whilst keeping all 'their' money then they are completely exploiting their partner or ex partner 

burlingtonfl6

Comms69 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

In the US the divorce laws are so in favour of women I can understand why men don't want to get married.
If things in the UK get like the states we are going to see marriage rates plummet too.

But they arent in favour of women de facto. 

The reality is that women still do the majority of raising children, and that is what is causing this apparent bias

Keep telling yourself that.
The family courts in the US along with the lawyers involved are responsible for some of the most pathetic divorce laws.
In some states you still have to pay child support even if you find out that child isn't yours......and you can be sent to jail if you don't pay up.

Comms69

burlingtonfl6 said:

Comms69 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

In the US the divorce laws are so in favour of women I can understand why men don't want to get married.
If things in the UK get like the states we are going to see marriage rates plummet too.

But they arent in favour of women de facto. 

The reality is that women still do the majority of raising children, and that is what is causing this apparent bias

Keep telling yourself that.
The family courts in the US along with the lawyers involved are responsible for some of the most pathetic divorce laws.
In some states you still have to pay child support even if you find out that child isn't yours......and you can be sent to jail if you don't pay up.

I was clearly talking about the UK, not the US. Should be obvious given this is a UK site....

littlegreenparrot

Thanks for the explanation, now I probably understand the situation of my friends in UK, but I have one last critical question.
Just in case of "I wanna another one dear", what happens to my assets even if she has a young kid?
I mean, she decided to leave me, so why should I maintain her?
I would take the kid alone or pay benefits for the child, not her rent, car, make up and all the other things she will cry for, you understood right?
That't the job of the next unlucky man, why this is not fair to the guy above is very unclear to me.

Another way to resolve this would be changing the way to interpret the marriage or living together, how can I make the living together in a way that everyone maintains his own stuff after break up by personal choice?
For example, she living under my roof, a kid or even more, but not married, does the same 50/50 law apply? In other countries applies, but it's not the 50/50, it's just about childcare, nothing to the woman for leisure, even the house rent.
I may understand the matter of having to pay rent to the kids that are living with my ex, but guess what, I would propose to take care of them rather than giving them to her and pay her the life full of leisure, 50/50 to me sounds crazy, and that could explain my friends situation, with the only difference that they had a marriage.

This is so funny. 

Do you have any idea how much it costs to feed, clothe, take care of a child? How much the child care would cost if you continued to work? Let alone the idea that a lone parent gets to live a life of leisure if they are solely responsible for children. 

If you don't like the idea of being financially responsible for the wellbeing of your children and their mother it's probably best not to put yourself in that position.  

RobHT

With the kids is complicated, definetely it is.

To reply from one of the points above, how a wife made the emoctional cool life with me if she drops? Does the result not count anymore?
Come on guys, are you serious?
Kids ok even with her (if I can't) and paid sufficiently by me, but she can ask the money to the new one, that's what I think, if marriage is not all about money, then who contributed more takes more, what the hell is wrong with the math in you guys .
And.... as you are saying she will receive money from both men... Fantastic life ah... Who knows why a man doesn't never get this luxury, and I'm talking also about no kids situation.

In case of no kids, well, should I even explain the matter?
Supposing the house was mine, and she contributed with the bills and food, basically all the rest 50/50, why the hell she should get the 50% of the house value? In many cases, she has also the right to take over the house, so you are gonna rent elsewhere and continue to pay the mortgage, is this normal? Ah yeah it is for you guys  

If the marriage is about to remain together, when you split "BY YOUR CHOICE" you can't automatically get the 50% if you didn't contribute somewhere, can be an asset, even a debt, or whatever you wanna call it!

rach_k said:

Why do you have "concerns as a man"?  UK law doesn't seek to advantage women getting a divorce, it looks to ensure that if there is a lower earner, male or female, that they are treated fairly.  You're assuming that your wife wouldn't earn as much as you, but even if you went for a more traditional-style arrangement of little wifey staying at home to raise the kids and cook your dinner, she might one day have a great idea or a lucky lottery ticket.  If you'd supported her - financially and/or emotionally - for years, then she suddenly got rich and ran off with a nicer man, wouldn't you feel entitled to some of the money she earned during your marriage?  Support in a marriage, or any partnership, isn't just about money.  If you think it is or you don't value the non-monetary contributions, I'd suggest that marriage isn't for you!

Talking about no kids situation, I believe you can only be a woman, there is no other explanation!
What emoctional support if I take one hummer to my face? Omg...

She may take something from the house value only if she contributed to the mortgage, and that means that you as a man have been an idiot to let her to do that, so she has equity on the house for sure and right to sign if to rent or sell...