FtbDreaming wants to clear £69,700 before Im 40 (2027)

FtbDreaming

Yeah I know... it’s just this time of year is when all the kids birthdays fall, the schools want loads of money and I wasn’t expecting the kitchen to stretch the budget so much. The kitchen would be affordable if I’d have been paid properly the last 2 months 🤦🏼‍♀️

I will take your wise words on board though and see how I can juggle things. It may be a case of using a bit of the credit wisely and then paying it off after Christmas when hopefully I do feel better and dp has sorted out his HGV so finally contributing 🤞🏼 Xxx

slm6002

Has he been given a date as yet for the HGV?  Would he be able to get a christmas job to bring a little bit extra in?

Even your little overpayment will help in the long run so keep going.  You would definitely have been in a better position had the wages not have been completely messed up but you have still survived

FtbDreaming

Hi.. no the HGV rules change on 16th November so he needs to send off his licence around the 14th to get the provisional C+E added then once it’s back he can book onto a course. I’m getting super ratty with him now so we’re not really talking. I just can’t be bothered paying for everything anymore. 

I’ve been dancing with danger with the credit card.... I have a 9 month 0% money transfer offer until 1st December and I was tempted to take it up as a buffer until after xmas but I’ve done DD1 birthday and held out upto now 🤯

The financial situation is a bit dire at present. I’m about £60 overdrawn up to now. The kitchen payment is still to go out and a few other direct debits. Still need to do a food shop too and the weekly gas and leccy has gone from £40 to £50 (prepayment) it’s just so bloody stressful. I’ve emptied the house fund into the current account to pay for dd1 bday presents and food etc.. I’m not bothered about that as I’m not doing any house stuff now anyway. 

I done an extra shift last week for ‘incentive pay’.., 6.5 hours at £33 an hour sounds great but I’ll be lucky to have £100 after deductions. I’ve also booked an extra this week too so at least it’s some money coming in for the next 2 Fridays to pay for food etc. 

My biggest problem at present is anxiety.... or maybe I’m physically ill??? Or mentally ill??? I am having panic attacks and palpitations lasting hours and hours. I was taking blood the other day and was shaking uncontrollably and I burst into tears during handover because my heart was thumping out my chest and I just felt so overwhelmed. 

I am deffo 💯 going to ring the GP this week. I don’t want to be signed off work. That isn’t the problem. I am having irrational thoughts about all aspects of life not work per se. Hopefully they can give me some medication to calm my nerves or find some sort of cause. Maybe a hormonal imbalance? Oh I don’t know but it needs seeing to. 

On a positive note I’ve just seen Ed Sheeran singing a snippet of his xmas song and I can’t wait for it to come out 🎄 xxx

slm6002

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time.  I am glad you are going to get checked out by the doctor this week.  Could it be something left over from covid maybe?  Either way it is making you feel bad so it needs looking at.
I had a thought, if DH isn't earning much have to looked into using some of his personal allowance for tax - as a married couple (think you are married?) you may be able to take part of his until he needs it with the lorry job, and it might mean you can keep some more of the money you earn.  I still think there are many shops in towns offering xmas jobs at the moment and if things probably wont start on the HGV front until the new year, it might help get you to that point.  It's probably not the kind of work he will enjoy but if it means you don't have to go overdrawn then it would help and it would help take the pressure off you.  It will also help to fund the courses as I know they are expensive (XH was a HGV driver and I paid most of the course for him in a round about way).
You are doing a fantastic job so keep going.  I know you will get there.  Keep coming on here to vent or get advice.

bellevie

I'm sorry if this has been covered, but it crossed my mind if you've had a couple of changes to work you might be in an emergency tax bracket. Is you tax code what it should be for your salary band? 

It sounds like you are under so much pressure from all angles. You are doing really well, remember that.

FtbDreaming

Thanks for the replies. We’re not married @slm6002 which is a good thing seeing as I work and pay for everything I don’t want him entitled to half of we ever did call it a day. Sorry I know that sounds spiteful but I’m getting fed up. I don’t think he really wants to work if I’m honest. Why would he when he’s got everything provided for him without leaving the house? Don’t get me wrong he has worked hard at certain points but there have been several episodes of him taking a year or 2 hiatus and it’s me that picks up the slack! I’m 34 and feel 50 at the minute. 

No I’m not emergency taxed either @bellevie I pay 9.4% pension. Student loan and postgraduate loan too then tax and NI it just all adds up to quite a bit x

slm6002

I'm so sorry its so tough for you.  I think living together for so long still entitles him so half from my experience, so maybe have your own bank account if you start thinking about going separate ways, because at least then you will have something of your own.

MovingForwards

You're bound to be stressed and under an immense amount of pressure. Trying to run a family unit on one, not very large, income isn't easy. Your OH could have picked up work to fund his own licence, instead you're paying for it.

Go see the Dr, be totally open and see what they say.

FtbDreaming

Hi... well I filled out an e-consult with my gp the other day and got a text today saying they’d call Monday lunchtime. I also had a bit of a tizzy in work today so they’re going to refer me to occy health too. See if there’s anything I can get out of that? 

Money wise. I’m getting £150 for the bank shift so that’s good. Today was bank so should get the same again next week. If I can keep it up for a few weeks I’ll soon be sorted financially. 

I’ve resisted the balance transfer up to now. Although I’m in the overdraft I can stay in it and pay it off at the end of the month where if I take out money transfer then it’s another monthly bill to pay. 

I changed my water bill from weekly dd to monthly to tie in with payday and am going to do the same with council tax. I downgraded netflix to the cheapest package so it’s still there for the kids but £4 a month cheaper. I also reduced the savings to £10 a week just until the new year now that I’ve reached my £1000 target. Studio catalogue is paid, so is another £40 a month bill so I’ve managed to shave a bit off the monthly commitments. The bathroom Klarna is down to £617 (32.50 a month) so that’s the next thing on the list to aggressively pay down. 

I had a HMRC notification today saying I’ll get my help to save bonus on 1st dec. £280 which I’m hoping to get both the kids bikes with and have a bit of money for some stocking fillers. I won’t be buying new bikes or phone... I just don’t believe in it. That many people sell unused 2nd hand ones that I let them buy new and then I’ll have a bargain lol. The kids won’t know the difference. 

I’m feeling a bit bleurgh... I want to sort myself out though. I need to. So we’ll see what gp and occy health can do to help me x

MovingForwards

Hope your Dr apt went well and you're feeling more supported from a medical point of view.

Depending on who you bank with, some offer rewards for having a certain amount of direct debits. I pay £2pm and get £5pm back, I'm letting the money build up as a mini EF.

Sounds like a great use of the bonus and the kids probably know, but are grateful to receive them as the other option is they don't get them.