FtbDreaming wants to clear £69,700 before Im 40 (2027)

Bluegreen143

Just caught up on your diary from August, so much has happened.

Really impressed you returned the communion dress and far from being a rubbish mum, showing your daughter how to handle the mistakes we all make from time to time is priceless.

Sounds a stressful time with broken arm, wrong pay etc. Hope things ease off for you soon. It will help if your DP is able to work soon I think.

MovingForwards

Try not to think of the mortgage within you're overall debt, you'd be paying rent if you didn't have it and you've got equity in it.
Snowball your other finance, overpay the one ending soonest, that freed up money then gets sunk into the next one and so on.

You're carrying a lot of responsibility on your shoulders and your OH has to get some work, even if it's not what he wants to do. 

FtbDreaming

Thanks for the replies! My life is one long endurance test @Bluegreen143 things don’t tend to go good for long periods 🙄

I am doing that @MovingForwards with the bills. The little ones are gonna be gone relatively quick which will enable me to rebuild savings again. Although I’ve got over £1000 now which is a lot compared to all the years I lived in my overdraft. 

You’re both right about DP working. He’s done all the theory tests for his HGV licence and should be doing the practical by the end of this month. That’s gonna cost me £1100 for the class C then it’ll be the same again for C+E but I see it as an investment into our future if he works too it takes a lot of the financial And mental strain off me. 

Xxx

FtbDreaming

Well minutes after my last post on Sunday some 🐀 drove up to our house and stole DPs trailer in broad daylight so now he has no source of income at all. 

A couple of hours later DD2 started complaining of a temperature again and came up positive on a lateral flow (and confirmed with PCR). By yesterday DS was also positive and DP hasn’t tested but is in bed and is 100% suffering from covid. Sweating, coughing and wailing and being a big dying swan that he is. 

I informed work yesterday and as long as my PCR is negative and I have daily lateral flows that are negative I’ll still be in work Saturday Sunday Monday and Tuesday which is really stressful as DP is in no fit state to look after the kids. I can’t afford to take time off as I didn’t even get paid properly last time. It’s seriously just one stress after the other. 

I bought theatre tickets for tomorrow night so that’s another £45 down the pan as we’re a covid house now. And I’ve been scammed by some fake website for trainers for DD1 birthday so that’s another £50 gone. 

I hate how negative my whole bloody diary is but it is my life. I try so so hard to do well and have a good life and on the face of it I am. But absolutely everything I do is filled with obstacles and drama. 

Grrrr

in good news my first kitchen payment is gone and with the other bits I’ve paid my ‘debt’ is down by about £350 which makes me happier x

slm6002

I am so sorry you are having a terrible time.  I totally get it though as I often feel the same.  If something is going well it either goes wrong or you are waiting for it to go wrong, so much so that either way the good times are then destroyed.

We have to look for the little things that are often hiding really well and positive about them.  Your debt is down by £350 which is great.  You also don't have covid (fingers crossed it is still the case).  I know its easier when looking in, than living it yourself.

Have the police looked into the theft of the trailer.  You never know.  Fingers crossed the HGV tests will be passed and OH can get a well paid job to help make things a little easier.  There are certainly plenty of vacancies.

Could you sell the tickets on fb to see if anyone can use them and maybe get a little of your money back?

Keep going because from the outside you are doing a fabulous job  

FtbDreaming

Thanks @slm6002 yes I do see similarities with our lives and luck but I suppose we’ve just gotta plod along. 

I don’t have covid according to negative pcr and lft so that’s one good thing. I’ve been exposed to that much covid I must have some sort of super immunity 🦾

no the police aren’t interested they just give a crime number which is useless as it wasn’t insured or anything. The HGV teacher said he could fit him in at the end of the month so I’ll just keep everything crossed that he’s better by then. I’m sure he will be and I’ll have to invest the £1100 in the hope that he can earn it back before Christmas! 

Thanks for replying xxx

MovingForwards

Look at it as the three things have come at once, illness, trailer and money. That means there must be positive things coming! 

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and breathe out. You've got everything under control, will dust yourself down and bounce back.

You've plenty of positives; the bills are getting paid, you've a lovely kitchen that's getting paid down, the mortgage is reducing with each contractual payment, you've a house, lovely kids and a partner.

Go buy a cake and eat it all to yourself, you more than deserve it carrying all the pressure!

LadyWithAPlan

Sending you a virtual hug, so sorry you have so much on your plate. You will get through this I promise.

Take whatever stress you can off the table, have baths, get enough sleep. When you have so much going on it is very easy to get into all or nothing thinking (I certainly have done so in the past).  It maybe worth reading the 'power of  now' by Eckhart Tolle or 'Happiness becomes you' by Tina Turner (yes that Tina!) .  Or look at some CBT books or therapy as they are v useful actions steps that  can help you breath through and walk through  the hard moments and come back to centre quicker.

Hopefully your partner will get the training and the long term work sorted as that £1100 is a lot if he does not follow through. Is there anything he can do in the short term such as driving an uber, or cycling delivering food, amazon packing just to relieve some of the short term stress and he can feel he is contributing to the household and getting into long term work habits. 

FtbDreaming

Thanks for the replies. I have also tested positive today for covid 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s bittersweet..., probably means another month of messed up wages but also takes away the stress of trying to work whilst the kids are sick. I know I’m home for the next 10 days now and all commitments Are off and tbh I think I need it! 

Hopefully I don’t get too sick. Up to now my heads banging but I feel ok. The kids are fine and DP is still really Ill but no worse than when he gets any bug. 

I was looking at my emergency fund and I’m 4 weeks off achieving £1000 😁 I’ve got £300 to last till the 28th and bearing in mind I’m isolating till the 25th that should mean I’ve got some money left over. The only thing I’m worried about is lots of takeaways once I run out of food or I get sick and can’t cook But we’ll see xxx

slm6002

Oh no wishing you a speedy recovery.  Can you book a supermarket delivery, even if very easy food (put frozen pizzas in oven) at least its a little cheaper than pizza deliveries?  They can then drop everything at the door, drive away and you can socially distanced get your food.  Use the time to relax and recover from the past few months (difficult with poorly children and OH).