Money Moral Dilemma: Should we charge our grown-up children for living with us during lockdown?

Pollycat

pokora said:

Many specific circumstances have been omitted in the question so I honestly think the whole problem could be that they didn't offer to pay or collaborate at the "new" home. 

Welcome to the wonderful world of MSE dilemmas.

Deliberately lacking in detail.

Edina_Typhoon

They are paying rent and bills on their own homes but not paying for their usual food and 'going out' costs, so I'm sure they could afford to make a contribution towards food shopping at least.  If they haven't offered to do so, they should be ashamed of themselves!  Sounds like they are taking advantage somewhat.

DPS-2016

You say they're earning more than you but not necessarily how much you earn.  
My philosophy would be, if you struggling, I guess charging some rent to help would be the way forward.  If you don't need it, don't.  Presumably they are contributing to additional running costs, food etc which sounds reasonable.  They may be earning more, but are they still after accounting for the fact they've probably got much larger housing costs as these tend to depreciate as one gets older.  

JayD

Of course they should be paying towards their food and the use of utilities! I'm amazed they hadn't already been doing so from the moment they moved in!  After all, this isn't a short visit, where I would not expect my grown up children to make any financial contribution. They are LIVING with you, which is different. Of course, I wouldn't expect them to pay towards costs you would have whether they are there or not but for food, increased electricity costs and general household items e.g. washing powder/gel are definitely things they would have to pay for if they were living at home anyway!

s662_stella

pugsydog said:

Definitely to pay for their share of food and utilities, and help with chores. Dependent on their usage and treatment of your stuff possibly even a small “ wear and tear” cost or replacing anything damaged. If it was a couple of weeks, that’s a different matter, but it sounds like they are setting in for a long stay, they may even have paused their rental. I’d be getting a bit wary, and if it’s causing rows, it needs sorting. Family council time! 

Definitely agree, there still using electricity and doing washing cooking and whose doing cooking & washing Mum I suspect.  Definitely needs discussion.

Marvel1

Split bills 3 ways - electric and gas, everything else is the same.

Probably food too.

Meradowlark

It should say they came to stay with my partner and "me," not "my partner and I."
There is a simple rule.  You take the other person out of the sentence and see whether "I" or "me" sounds correct.  In this case you would not say "they came to stay with I." You would say they came to stay with me.
However, if it is your intention to use 'I"  just to sound posh, by changing the sentence around a bit you could use "I"correctly.
eg" My partner and I invited them to stay."
You're welcome. 

jsue

We had three of our young adults move in for lockdown - to avoid loneliness and isolation.  None paid rent, but they all paid a proportion of the food and helped with housework, cleaning and cooking.  This seemed fair.  Their combined income is far more than ours too.

celinepatricia

Meradowlark said:

It should say they came to stay with my partner and "me," not "my partner and I."
There is a simple rule.  You take the other person out of the sentence and see whether "I" or "me" sounds correct.  In this case you would not say "they came to stay with I." You would say they came to stay with me.
However, if it is your intention to use 'I"  just to sound posh, by changing the sentence around a bit you could use "I"correctly.
eg" My partner and I invited them to stay."
You're welcome. 

wow