Money Moral Dilemma: Should we charge our grown-up children for living with us during lockdown?

catanner

It was always going to be hard at the start of lockdown to know how long it might go on for. Agree it's hard to charge them rent esp after the times that's passed but they should certainly be contributing to food and energy costs, and helping around the house. I'd hope they'd have offered to do that but if they haven't, maybe ask them to get the next grocery shop or take away bill? They obviously feel they're into a good thing or they'd have left by now. 

sizzlerman

Certainly agree with the above. They should help contribute to food and energy bills, especially if they both earn more than you. But I now what its like asking you think they might be horrified but just ask politely. You may be surprised they probably intended to help pay anyway but felt embarrassed to ask if you wanted any help money wise.

pjran

Why not discuss this over dinner. You might be pleasantly surprised that they offer to pay for a weekly shopping each of course you’ll have to put this thought in their minds, tactfully. 

DaveWetzel

Our problem is the opposite. Our daughter, her boyfriend and her 2 kids in their 20s live with us on a permanent basis and we love it.  During the lockdown my low-waged daughter is on furlough and her minicab boyfriend lost all his income (newly self-employed) but not only do they insist on paying their housekeeping but we had a recent fire that completely destroyed our shed and three fences and they have worked tirelessly in all weathers (heat and rain) to clear the debris into two skips, renew the fences, cement a new base for the replacement summerhouse, created a lovely new wooden patio from salvaged wood, a new Bar-B-Q area  and have offered to erect the summerhouse when it arrives. We've paid for most of the materials but they have refused any payment at all (including a free holiday of their choice to somewhere exotic next year). Admiral Insurance have paid a very fair compensation package for the fencing, shed and items lost but which also includes labour costs for the restoration which we are not incurring. How can we reward them without causing offence?

toffeenut29

I’d like to believe that I’ve raised my son well enough that we could have an open conversation about finances in the face of a pandemic. That I could say to him “I’m struggling to afford the gas and electric increase that’s come from having 4 people here instead of 2” and he’d either be mortified at not thinking of it first or would tell me he can contribute x amount but that his income has reduced because of x, y or z. I would hope that as a guest in anyone’s house he’d be wanting to repay the hospitality by helping with gardening or Cooking, DIY or whatever he was able to do. It’s just simple manners and having a good line of communication open, surely? I’d never expect to profit from someone staying with me in an emergency but at the same time I wouldn’t want them to expect to save money from the same scenario. Communication seems to be the key here IMO.

badmemory

If I was to honest in this, then as the parent (I assume only one of the couple is the actual parent) I would be devastated that they hadn't offered to contribute at least to the extra housekeeping.  If they are both working from home then they are still earning & using electricity, so the very least they should be doing is paying for general housekeeping.  I hope you realise that they are about to give up their rented place & move in permanently & for free.

olook1

This shouldn't even be a 'thing'! THEY should have INSISTED that they pay 50% of food and utilities until they leave-your rent/mortgage doesn't change by them staying with you. 

Anita_Doit

They may still be paying rent on their other place but they are saving on other living expenses. If they haven’t already offered to pay, they won’t take too kindly to being asked now but they need to be told.
The parents may well have turned down offers of payment at the start - my in-laws refused payment when we stayed with them for  2 weeks, but after this length of time it’s ridiculous, selfish and rather immature that the children aren’t insisting on making a reasonable contribution to food, and utilities in addition to household duties.

nailartique

I would love to have had my children stay regardless of their age, employment status etc, whilst I would expect them to share chores & cooking I certainly wouldn’t expect them to contribute financially other than a bit of shopping.  Apply to HMRC for the £6.00 a month working from home tax. If 4 of applying that’s £24 a month towards extra electricity usage/ water! 

tindella

One would hope that they would volunteer to contribute to expenses - sad that you have to contemplate asking them!