Money Moral Dilemma: Should we charge our grown-up children for living with us during lockdown?

Akashr

onwards&upwards said:

Lockdown’s over.  They can come and visit mum any time they want.  No need to stay any longer! 

They can't visit without social distancing. It's their choice if they want to be a single household during these times. It seems to be forgotten that this is working both ways, the children have company and the parents can be with their children. It's not a holiday for any of them.
Don't understand some people and their insistence on getting their children out of their home. I can understand if the relationship has broken down, although in this case it hasn't. This is purely temporary and probably welcomed given people are limited in what they can do.

dodgy_damo

Yeah why not charge them the market rent for a spare room in the area and contribute to everything. Oh and enjoy the care home they stick you in at the first opportunity

pokora

Many specific circumstances have been omitted in the question so I honestly think the whole problem could be that they didn't offer to pay or collaborate at the "new" home. 

Do at least clean what they use ?

The argues are between your partner and you or between you and the other 3?

They should pay some utility bills and/or groceries during the time they have live there, It would be the most reasonable option.

DaveWetzel said:

Our problem is the opposite. Our daughter, her boyfriend and her 2 kids in their 20s live with us on a permanent basis and we love it.  During the lockdown my low-waged daughter is on furlough and her minicab boyfriend lost all his income (newly self-employed) but not only do they insist on paying their housekeeping but we had a recent fire that completely destroyed our shed and three fences and they have worked tirelessly in all weathers (heat and rain) to clear the debris into two skips, renew the fences, cement a new base for the replacement summerhouse, created a lovely new wooden patio from salvaged wood, a new Bar-B-Q area  and have offered to erect the summerhouse when it arrives. We've paid for most of the materials but they have refused any payment at all (including a free holiday of their choice to somewhere exotic next year). Admiral Insurance have paid a very fair compensation package for the fencing, shed and items lost but which also includes labour costs for the restoration which we are not incurring. How can we reward them without causing offence?

You could put some money apart or in a saving account for when they really need the money. Just check that doesn't impact negatively your finances due your circumstances.

meknowalot-51

"They came to stay with us at the beginning of lockdown so we could all be together."Who's bright ill thought out idea was this?,we're you aware that they we're still paying rent from the off?if so,then leave them alone.If on the other hand they failed to tell you then all you have to do is send them back on the 4th and ask them to keep their distance.I say that as after the 4th most youngsters are going to be mixing and no doubt spreading the virus especially after they end up stewed.Learn by it and keep safe.

crmism

I could understand your partner's attitude if the stay was a short one but, given the length of time since your children moved in, I reckon they're taking a liberty by using your home for work as well as a place to stay, and that they ought to pay for the accommodation irrespective of the rent they're paying already. If they don't like the thought of doing that, they have the option to return home and work from there.
Charity might begin at home, but fairness should prevail, and there's no earthly reason why two earners should expect to be treated as non-paying guests.

onwards&upwards

Akashr said:

onwards&upwards said:

Lockdown’s over.  They can come and visit mum any time they want.  No need to stay any longer! 

They can't visit without social distancing. It's their choice if they want to be a single household during these times. It seems to be forgotten that this is working both ways, the children have company and the parents can be with their children. It's not a holiday for any of them.
Don't understand some people and their insistence on getting their children out of their home. 

These are adults, not children, and they have already left home and have been living independently. 

Most people when they reach adulthood want to be independent and have their own space, privacy, their own life.  These people have been living with their parents for more than three months!  Surely all of them are ready for a break from all that togetherness!  If either of the adult children live alone they can be in a 'support bubble' with the parents' household, and remember from Saturday this all becomes just guidance, not the law, so they could both do that if they wanted to and visit as much as they want however they want. 

hanc33

I moved back to my parents with my toddler son at the beginning of lockdown for support as a single parent. I am still working as normal and whilst yes I still have to pay the mortgage and fixed bills on my home i am paying for 50% of food, a contribution to electricity and gas and taking an equal role in household tasks etc

MrDisney69

If my daughter's were grown up and came home during lockdown we'd keep them no question. Yes they are earning but surely they would have offered money towards expenses and bills, if not you haven't raised them very well if they are that selfish.
Enjoy the time with them as in a few years they might pop round a couple of times a year and then you'd wish they stayed longer.
I'm probably too soft but we'll miss them.went they go.

Fireflyaway

If it's a temporary thing I wouldn't expect any money. They came to stay because they wanted to be with you, not to get a cheap deal on accommodation. I think it would be nice if they offered to get in some food / help with the chores as a show of appreciation but I wouldn't ask or expect anything. I also don't think what they earn is of any consequence. Good for them that they earn more than you. I hope my child grows up to earn more than me! Be pleased for them.

EileenN

I think it would be extremely greedy to ask one’s own children to pay rent in such circumstances especially when they are already paying rent somewhere else. Why on earth would one do that? They are only doing it so the family can be together. In my opinion very greedy to even suggest it. Helping with the food bill yes, but definitely not rent!