Sh*t creek - is now in my rear view mirror...!

savingwannabe

Is there a carers group you can join linked to the hospital that is treating your family? They can offer you days off, help advice etc. Please ask GP if possible. Sending my love, i cant believe how much you are doing. God Bless you, we are all thinking of you, swxxxx

longway2go

You are dealing with do much both physically and emotionally, I do hope you have some support, but again think trying a support group would be helpful.

Are you seeing much improvement from the work to the house? I do hope so x

Irenadler

Thank you Skinty, Swan, Babs, LW2G, Ginnyknit, and all, hope I haven't missed one of you out!

I was going to do a long update, but, frankly too depressing! 

So the positive thing is that I managed to take Mum out to a garden centre, which we both enjoyed as a welcome distraction from all going on. I actually bought compost to plant seeds, which feels like hope for the future, and might actually be classed as money saving, planning to dig out all the herb seeds I bought and make myself a nice array of herbs and greens to enjoy over summer.

Take care all

Ren

MovingForwards

Can't put a price on wellbeing and comforts. Plus it will all enhance your food and views.

MovingForwards

Hope things are progressing and you're getting time to relax.

savingwannabe

Ren that is great. Well done on visiting the garden centre. At least you got out. I hope you have a good weekend. We are all thinking of you. 

Irenadler

Hey all!
I cannot believe how long its been since popping in here. Strangely enough I was thinking about you all and wondering how you are, and saw some messages in my email. You are all very kind, and I have never forgotten coming on here, scared to post and thinking of the dire financial situation I was in, and how lovely and supportive everyone was. So, I know I have said it before, but thank you all. 

A small update, before I go to the parents, as you know, Dad is confirmed MND. We are STILL waiting on Mum's clinic referral, although we had a letter of apology for the waiting times, as they are inundated at the clinic. We were slightly terrified that the MND nurses sent a letter from LOROS, but this is where they are based, not an indication of Dad going there immediately. They were lovely, and talked us through the specialists who will be helping him (dietician, OT and physiotherapist, speech therapist as well as monitoring blood, lungs (oxygen flow)). Its all a bit over-whelming, without seeing to the snags on finishing building works, and the aftermath of new carpets/furniture & re-arranging their stuff back. Plus hoping that Mum is sorted soon. Already on her next health issues.... argh, I said this was short and it isn't....

I just have not felt I had time to turn around, feel like a ball in one of those pin-ball machines, bouncing from one thing to the next. Although we had a family meeting, with siblings, there is still some legal stuff to sort as well as everything else. Keep telling myself to take one day at a time, but its draining even without Dad not yet needing full personal care. He is doing as much as he can, as long as he can, which we are all encouraging him to do - to keep wastage at bay as long as possible. I won't go into detail but its heart-breaking to see him not doing all that he used to be able to do......

So, a tiny amount of money saving going in the background on miniscule direct debits, but my eye is definitely off the ball. All I know is I still have a little nest egg....

Skint_yet_Again

So good to hear from you Ren but so sorry to hear things are still so stressful. I hope the building work is all finished now as that's one less thing for you to think about. At least you know the nest egg is there if you need it. Don't stress about the small stuff and rest & eat when you can. I know it must be very difficult for you, when my dearest mum died suddenly & unexpectedly on holiday abroad my dad was like a shrunken man. It took months to sort out repatriation and the funeral and finances/probate, then he was rushed into hospital with sepsis and we almost lost him. He is rebuilding his health but is nothing like the man he was before mum passed away, so I can totally understand how heart broken you feel . Its like the parent / child roles are reversed & its exhausting at times. I hope the appointment for your mum comes soon. Sending you much love & hugs xx

MovingForwards

We're not just here for financial encouragement, but emotional support too. Having people outside of your immediate situation means unbiased comments for you. Never be afraid to pop along.

I'm so sorry about your dad, I hoped it wasn't the diagnosis he has received, however the positive thing is the help and information is coming in quick. Hopefully your mom will get additional support soon.

Try and approach both of them about claiming attendance allowance, the extra money will go towards things they need. It doesn't matter that they have independent means. I think carers allowance is deducted £ for £ from UC, so no benefit to that if they do agree, and receive AA.

Please ensure you're getting the support and breaks by siblings doing some to help too.

savingwannabe

Thank you so much for posting Ren, I keep thinking of you. God bless you for helping your wonderful parents. You are trying so hard. I think you are amazing and so proud of your efforts at this difficult time.