Not sure how I'm going to get through this!

sharpe106

Heading in the right direction, but at the moment your mortgage and food are your biggest issues. 
Are you planning on extending your mortgage to reduce your monthly payments?

Tracboo13

We cancelled sky years ago and you can still use sky box and get freeview through it which helped us massively, out mobile deals included now tv which we watch through tv for basic sky channels... shopping in our house for 6 (2 adults and 4 children aged 4-17) comes in at £102, I work out a meal planner for week and stick to it, we worked out we were spending an extra £60 on tops ups, you have to cut back with basics etc until things get better, it’s tough at the moment but try using different stores as some have better deals than others so I use weekly deals of stores to plan meals buying the items on offer that week... jacket potatoes and pasta bakes really help! Also I don’t know if you buy fizzy drinks but I found buying fizzy water for 17-21p per 2ltr mixed with squash is a great cheap alternative.. hope things improve but try not to stress you will work yourselves up into unhappy states. You can ask for mortgage break extension and credit card holiday too to help you in interim. 

Abbafan1972

Thanks for all your replies.  I will take all of your suggestions on board.  It does help if a fresh pair of eyes looks at things!

I forgot to mention about our 2 holidays, the first one was originally for April this year but Jet2 cancelled it, so we moved it to April next year.  This one is all inclusive, so won't need much spending money.  The other holiday is for October next year, should have been October for this year for our 25th Anniversary, but didn't feel confident everything would be back to normal which is why we moved it to next year.  My Mom paid for the October one (both holidays are paid for).

Abbafan1972

sharpe106 said:

Heading in the right direction, but at the moment your mortgage and food are your biggest issues. 
Are you planning on extending your mortgage to reduce your monthly payments?

Not sure yet, but the letter came from the Halifax today stating what the new payment will be on the 28th July and it's only gone up by just under £40 a month, thought it would be more than that.  I will see what I can sort out with them.

just_trying

It's not only gone up by £40 you can't afford that.  Cancel the phone contracts and go sim only, it's not much to break contract with them, your mobiles will be considerably cheaper. Food is expensive but £50 in beers in the grand scheme is nothing,  eating healthy is not expensive,  fresh fruit and veg doesn't add up to that amount without a lot of junk. People always say healthy eating is expensive it isn't junk is dearer not to £800 a month.

You've not said your normal wage, is this ongoing going onto debt, how would you feel working a month and couldn't spend £50?a month on beers, you must be able to reduce your shopping spending.

The car was wondering, how much would it cost to get to work think it'll probably cost more.

clairebeth

I hope you don't mind me saying, but your SOA is one of the most alarming I've ever read in the ~12 years I've been reading these forums. So, well done for facing up to it!

Have you shown your husband the actual figures on the SOA? Does he understand that if you continue like this he make not have a home to watch Sky in?

We also have an Asda recurring pass (£2 a month for Tue to Thurs delivery). Our weekly spend has increased to about £85 a week during lockdown (up from about £65 a week beforehand), for a family of 4, one in night nappies and we don't eat meat. Have you looked through your grocery bills to identify what it is that costs so much? Because the beer only accounts for 5%. Are you buying ready meals or something? Expensive toiletries? Brand names instead of Asda smart price?

The thing to do when cooking for fussy or hungry eaters is to have two components - like, veggie chilli and rice - some people want more chilli, some people want more rice, some people only want one or the other.  That's fine they can suit themselves, but that's the options. 

Toasted wraps or soup are good for lunches. Porridge for breakfast because you use less milk than cereal and need to buy far less, plus oats much cheaper than cereal also!

Look at Jack Monroe 'Cooking on a Bootstrap', really cheap meals.  Also, I like 'Cookie and Kate,' she has a website and on Instagram and Facebook, it's not so much budget recipes as vegetarian ones, but they usually do work out very cheap and I've never once tried a recipe from there that wasn't easy and delicious and she shows all the nutritional values. 

If your car is worth £12k, couldn't you sell it and get one for £2k? Therefore you could throw £10k off your debt.  We have a great 2009 Focus that we got got for £3k and has never given us an issue. 

Also, re the phones. I would ask each supplier for the amount it will cost to pay out your contract. Sometimes it's worth paying to leave the contract rather than paying £40 a month for 12 months and giving them another £500.

My number one recommendation for a rewarding and flexible job with opportunity for extra hours is a care assistant. Honestly one of the best jobs in the world. I did that job from 18, so you don't necessarily need qualifications, you will get on the job training. You can do it in nursing homes, people's own homes, supported housing or even live-in care, which is particularly well paid, especially in London and Southern England - but perhaps that not an option when you have children! (Don't rule anything out though! Desperate times call for desperate measures!)

As well as you getting a job, is there any scope for your hubby to get a second job? Or can he ensure he does pick up the extra hours and work every Saturday? His wage is very low. How much were you earning before?

I think it is right that you've been advised to extend the term of your mortgage, but whatever you do, do NOT add any of your consumer debt to the mortgage, this will only extend this spiral of debt and put you at further risk of losing the house. 

All the very best to you!

Grumpelstiltskin

Abba I can't honestly work out how you are spending so much on groceries. Are you sure you aren't buying loads of expensive branded junk?
You mention popping in Asda, don't you have an Aldi or Lidl close by?
What about Heron Foods ( also in B & M ) Fultons Foods etc.
Also if you only need milk you only buy milk, how come you spent £15?
You can get a grip on your grocery budget immediately when sorting the mortgage will take longer.

Sea_Shell

I think you need to really go through your grocery receipts with a fine tooth comb.  (im assuming it includes all toiletries too).  Like others have said, that monthly spend is where you can probably make the most (and instant) savings.

You need to really understand what are NEEDS, like ingredients to prepare actual meals, and what are WANTS, that give you those extra bits and pieces  e.g. soft drinks, crisps, biscuits, snacks (ex fruit), coffee pods. You don't have the wiggle room for any "extras" at the moment.

With toiletries are you buying big brands?    Shampoo, toothpaste, loo roll, cleaning products.    Drop down to supermarket own brands for everything!!   

ryanm8655

That’s great about getting sky down but you do realise you can’t afford sky full stop?! You’re going to end up with no house if you don’t sort this out fast.

kimwp

Honestly? Your DH does not realise the situation if he has reduced the sky to £63. I know from £120, it can seem like huge efforts have been made, but if you are unable to pay your debts, then non-essential spending needs to be cut. Not reduced, cut completely. 
To figure out if something is an essential spend, ask yourself if cutting it will cause physical or mental health issues (remember to consider alternatives eg family games night instead of TV). For example, cut back on food until a further cut would mean eating unhealthily or people going hungry. (And going hungry means not having enough to eat, rather than not liking SW recipes)
I think you are putting a lot of effort in and that's brilliant - It feels however like you are trying to cut the costs of maintaining your lifestyle. But the truth is that your lifestyle (at least temporarily) needs to change.