Not sure how I'm going to get through this!

Singlespeeder

Abbafan1972 said:

@pdel61 Extending may be our only possibility at the moment.  We have already gone past our original term as already been here for 25 years, so under normal circumstances, the mortgage would have been finished by now.  But over the years, things have got in the way, such as redundancy and other debts, forcing us to review it again.

With only 8 years left, personally I'd be looking at pushing that out.... presumably if you doubled the period you'd half the cost. yes, over time you'll pay more, but you're both young enough to carry a 16 year mortgage. And you'd probably get a lower interest rate too. I wouldn't be looking at adding any of the debt to the mortgage, but it'd make the home more secure and free up a chunk of money. 
I could be talking pap though !
Get that food bill down for sure. Try eating vegetatian several times a week, it's significantly cheaper. Also start shopping at Aldi (and their gin is excellent ) 

BabyStepper

Great tip about Aldi gin, who knew?! 

I was almost finished my debt busting journey before finally getting rid of the massive mobile phone bills. Me and OH now pay £14 per month for both phones, huge saving from whatever it was before, I think around £80, can't quite remember.

I'd probably save increasing the mortgage as an absolute last resort. Wait and see how everything else works out, and if being frugal can balance your budget. Extending the term is better than losing your house though, especially as we don't know how the virus will impact on house prices.

You're doing great.    

Abbafan1972

Please see my original post with SOA, have made some changes and updated supporting info.

Mumoffourkids

Your food figure has gone up from what I can remember. Do you meal plan? I have to do top up shops because we go through a loaf of bread and 4 pints of milk every day and half. But the difference with my top up shops is when I go, that is all I buy. My online shopping order comes to about £60 - £70 per week and then top up shops are around £20 a week. I had a budget of £500 for this month’s food and so far I have over £200 left with one weekly shop to do. I meal plan each week, check what I have in the freezer first and then do my order. We have one day where we have quick and easy dinner and the next day we have a dinner that I make from scratch. I always freeze leftovers. So when I do bolognaise, I make more than I need and we have bolognaise from the freezer the next two weeks.

Abbafan1972

Mumoffourkids said:

Your food figure has gone up from what I can remember. Do you meal plan? I have to do top up shops because we go through a loaf of bread and 4 pints of milk every day and half. But the difference with my top up shops is when I go, that is all I buy. My online shopping order comes to about £60 - £70 per week and then top up shops are around £20 a week. I had a budget of £500 for this month’s food and so far I have over £200 left with one weekly shop to do. I meal plan each week, check what I have in the freezer first and then do my order. We have one day where we have quick and easy dinner and the next day we have a dinner that I make from scratch. I always freeze leftovers. So when I do bolognaise, I make more than I need and we have bolognaise from the freezer the next two weeks.

Yes, you are correct.  I adjusted my food bill as it was more, so kept it realistic.  We do meal plan as such, but not everyone will eat the same things.  I used to go to SW before lockdown and try to eat healthily, but what happens is I end up eating separate meals, as "SW" friendly meals get noses turned up at.  So I don't know what to do about that.  If I eat what everyone else eats, then I will be back to my original weight.  I am already way over 2st over my target weight.

I confess yesterday I only went to Asda for milk and a loaf and ended up spending just under £15.00.

Mumoffourkids

I hate to say this, but unless you get a job, then you really can not afford to spend £800 a month on food. When I split with my ex, I had to feed me and my six kids on my weekly child benefit amount As my tax credits were stopped. My wages covered my bills, I had to borrow money from my dad to pay my rent and I had to ask the nursery if I could not pay until I got my tax credits back again. My child benefit was £90 a week. It was all I had, as maintenance went on petrol to get to work. I was without tax credits for about 8 weeks in total. So I got used to spending very little on food because I just didn’t have the money coming in. This is what you need to do at the moment. You need to prioritise mortgage, council tax and utilities, then food, then petrol to get to work. Anything else will have to come out of the leftover money.

monetxchange

Okay, slight reality check. This is a mess you're in. It's not insurmountable to get out of, but you need to at least start trying to climb. To be honest, cutting a few quid off mobile phone bills and Sky, while every penny helps, is not going to solve this. You're £1500 short every month.

I know you don't want or don't think you can shop for less, but the reality is you HAVE TO. you've said yourself running up debt and barely managing has been going on for years. Now's the time when you decide whether you really want to make the change. You're not going to achieve a different result doing the same thing.

You're doing great by facing this. Look up veggie family friendly recipes on the old style board or Jack Monroe blog - you could make a bean chili for 4 for less than a quid. The family will have to eat it! Also SW is just eating scratch cooked meals with plenty of veg - easily followed by eating vegetarian and frugally.

You CAN do this. The worst part of facing up to it is over. Now it's time to buckle in for the long haul. We're all here with you!

ryanm8655

Firstly, I’m really sorry to hear about the job, that is really rubbish and has put you in a tough position.

From what I can see your expenses are double your current income, without the debt repayments? That level of expenditure wouldn’t have been sustainable before, it’s no wonder you’ve built up a load of debt and had to extend your mortgage (not preaching - I’ve got myself into a debt mess too).

By the looks of things you’d have been heading for trouble anyway, even had you not been made redundant. What were you earning previously?

You need to make some serious cut backs and quickly. £800 on groceries is crazy in your situation. It’s pretty crazy anyway! £50 a month on beers is only a small proportion of that. You need to plan meals and shop to a strict budget.

You need to cut out all non-essentials, you’ve made a start on that so well done. Your mortgage is cripplingly high while you aren’t working. Take advantage of the holiday on that and work hard to secure employment in the meantime. Hopefully you can get universal credit to help out. Your teenage son needs to work as well and pay his way to help out, even if it’s just finding his own phone, paying for his own clothes etc. I started working at 12 and managed perfectly fine with my studies, went to uni etc. Again, not meaning to preach but it’s pretty normal to get a part-time job at 16. I worked in a supermarket on evenings and weekends and then had a holiday job on top. Granted it’s trickier in lockdown but things are starting to open up again now.

Do you have anything you can sell in the meantime just to keep you afloat?

In the longer term, unless you earn considerably more than your husband, I think you are going to need a debt management plan. Keeping your home is your priority so always pay that over credit cards and unsecured loans. 

Can you get rid of the car and buy a cheap run around to tide you over? I drive a 15 year old car and I earn more than double what your husband does and am single with minimal expenses. Need to think about your priorities.

Sorry to be harsh but it comes from a place of wanting to help. Well done for coming here, it’s tough to take that first step.

sharpe106

Have you looked to see what benefits you may entitled too?
Starting to look like the car needs to go I am afraid, have you calculated what it would you would get if you got rid of it?
Mortgage needs extending to so you can get your payments down to about half what you are paying now. 

BabyStepper

I think there's something here you're not quite understanding. The idea is to try and make your budget balance. Your OH's wage is actually lower than you first stated, and you have increased expenses, meaning it all looks even worse than before.

Have you got your benefits application in yet? You can only claim from the day you apply (with very good reasons you can backdate a month) so every day you wait is money lost. 

You could have lost your job even before the virus, so the fact that there are payment holidays you can apply for is an absolute blessing here and is saving your !!!!!!. Make use of the time you have! There is no point messing around with an £800 food budget, you cannot spend more than half your income on food, that wouldn't even leave enough to pay the mortgage. You have 3 months to fix this before someone intervenes to fix it for you. 

Also try speaking to you OH. He needs to understand what's going on and you need some RL help with solving this.