Not sure how I'm going to get through this!

warby68

Come on OP, you and OH need to tackle this properly and now.
You need to get into survival mode quite quickly to protect yourselves from losing the lot.
Have a chat with OH and tell us one substantial  thing you're going to do from Monday. When he's moaning about his beers, how does he actually think you are surviving - his wage versus the mortgage is enough to know how bad it is? 
Its going to be hard but I think you know it will be better to live very very frugally for a while to protect your home. I agree a mortgage extension seems essential and now might be a good time to negotiate favourable terms.
In my opinion and I know its painful but the car, Sky and phones should all go plus halve that food bill, and take any job you can get for now. You can't enter any debt management plans until you have something to offer.
Looking at longer term, what sort of wage are you likely to earn? 
There is obviously a long term problem here (food, mortgage, car, phones, Sky all a bit disproportionate to income before one job lost unless you were a huge earner) and the pandemic has brought things to a head. I also note from another thread that you have 2 holidays booked, moved to 2021 but obviously needing a rethink also. Thankfully the payment holidays that came with the pandemic have given you a lifeline albeit finite -  so wishing you every success in tackling it together before the concessions end. Good luck

enthusiasticsaver

I would bet you have been living beyond your means for a long time and consolidated old debt into the mortgage which has increased the monthly repayment to a now unaffordable amount.  If your husband is 53 and you have 8 years to repay it you may be able to increase the term by 9 years until he is 70 as a temporary solution but you really have to start living within your means.  Cut back on everything which is non essential.  You are buying cars you cannot afford, you pay £73 on satellite TV, the mobiles cost is horrendous and the food groceries is way way too high. The reality of this is that even without your salary the mortgage takes almost all your DHs wage and that is without the credit cards, car loan and obviously an overdraft too.  You and your DH needs to get on board and if your adult child works then they will need to pay a proportion of their wages too. Good luck with the job hunting. 

zcrat41

Well done for making a start. Two things jump out at me. 

Get out today and get a job. Any job. Get cash coming in. Paper round, supermarket, carer. You need cash and you need it fast. 

Also, I think the teen needs to work. 20 hours a week would pay for their phone, clothes etc. 

Good luck. 

enthusiasticsaver

Abbafan1972 said:

Mumoffourkids said:

Your food figure has gone up from what I can remember. Do you meal plan? I have to do top up shops because we go through a loaf of bread and 4 pints of milk every day and half. But the difference with my top up shops is when I go, that is all I buy. My online shopping order comes to about £60 - £70 per week and then top up shops are around £20 a week. I had a budget of £500 for this month’s food and so far I have over £200 left with one weekly shop to do. I meal plan each week, check what I have in the freezer first and then do my order. We have one day where we have quick and easy dinner and the next day we have a dinner that I make from scratch. I always freeze leftovers. So when I do bolognaise, I make more than I need and we have bolognaise from the freezer the next two weeks.

Yes, you are correct.  I adjusted my food bill as it was more, so kept it realistic.  We do meal plan as such, but not everyone will eat the same things.  I used to go to SW before lockdown and try to eat healthily, but what happens is I end up eating separate meals, as "SW" friendly meals get noses turned up at.  So I don't know what to do about that.  If I eat what everyone else eats, then I will be back to my original weight.  I am already way over 2st over my target weight.

I confess yesterday I only went to Asda for milk and a loaf and ended up spending just under £15.00.

Are your family aware of how bad the debt is and how expensive your mortgage is?  I would not be giving them a choice.  They either eat what I cook or they get nothing.  There has to be a balance and for the number of people in your house £800 is a lot per month even if you are buying healthy food.  We buy healthy food and there are two adults but I could cover our groceries with £200 a month so I think that figure could be halved although you may have to cut out things like alcohol and other treats and just prioritise the healthy food.  Point out to your DH it is the beers or the house.  

BabyStepper

I'm worried. OP's situation is an example of a completely ordinary family in the uk today. Years of overspending, huge mortgage, credit cards, car loan, and 2 wages required to keep the whole ship afloat. 

Cue coronavirus, economic disaster, not only a recession but possibly a depression, mass unemployment, no way to keep the cash coming in, borrowing has just got much harder, everyone's options reduced massively.  

OP, your biggest strength is that you're facing up to it now. Do not waste that opportunity. If you want to get ahead of the crowds who will be following you down this road once furlough ends, please put things in place immediately. There are no debt repayment schemes for people with £2k monthly deficits in their budgets, only bankruptcy. You would be extraordinarily lucky to pick up something like a supermarket job just now, in 3 months' time there will be no opportunities anywhere. Sitting in disbelief will not help you. Getting on with what needs to be done will. 

Sorry of any of this frightens you, but your coments about food have made me realise you don't understand what's at risk. 

warby68

That's a sobering post BabyStepper but it is one I agree with and feel strongly about too.
OP I'm sure you will be feeling awful right now and very scared but your comments about food were scary too as a reader, as were the holidays. I can only urge you to tackle this as a team  and not to shy away from how serious it is, especially if you get a job. I'm sure it would be tempting to put your head back down if that happened but it wouldn't be wise.
Let people here help you - they probably feel like the 'enemy' right now but I am pretty sure everyone here wants everyone else to succeed not to fail.  No doubt about it this is a very tough situation but taking control will still give better outcomes than letting things happen to you. Rooting for you OP.

enthusiasticsaver

Babystepper is talking a lot of sense and I would be panicking too but hopefully you and DH can turn this around.

The soa shows the situation is urgent so I would tell the creditors, credit cards, catalogues, bank that you are in financial difficulties and ask them to stop interest etc while you sort out a plan. You have just about a month until the mortgage payment is due so investigate extending the term to reduce the monthly payments. Unless you get another job very quickly the car will have to go. 

Cut back on all non essential spending and reduce that food spend. I realise you are struggling to get your DH on board but this situation is dire so spending £50 a month on alcohol is not doable. 

Job hunt but take anything in the meantime. Your DH is a low earner so that is obviously not helping. What salary were you on? 

comeandgo

You need a job as soon as possible, any job.  To help with qualifications have a look on line for training courses, a lot are free.  You may find some doing basic payroll as there is not much to it.  I would go very gently with your mortgage provider, with the debts so high even with two wages you could have problems re mortgaging.  

Grumpelstiltskin

Abbafan1972 said:

Yes, you are correct.  I adjusted my food bill as it was more, so kept it realistic.  We do meal plan as such, but not everyone will eat the same things.  I used to go to SW before lockdown and try to eat healthily, but what happens is I end up eating separate meals, as "SW" friendly meals get noses turned up at.  So I don't know what to do about that.  If I eat what everyone else eats, then I will be back to my original weight.  I am already way over 2st over my target weight.

I confess yesterday I only went to Asda for milk and a loaf and ended up spending just under £15.00.

If they turn their noses up at SW food then remind them it's either what you put on their plates or they will be sitting on a park bench.
You have to be really determined to attack this.

Surely there is food on here they would eat?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6132395/losing-in-lockdown-slimming-world-support-thread#latest

Abbafan1972

Thanks for all of your comments, I can quote as there's so many.

I changed DH's wages to lower as that is what his basic is, as advised by a previous poster.  He gets overtime as he is often back late as he drives for a living and gets stuck in traffic.  On a good month you could probably add at least £400 to the amount I put he earns.  Even more so if he does a Saturday (which he often does).  I have gone by the worst case scenario.

Yes he is on board with me and the kids are aware of the problems and the youngest one has even asked how she can help with money.  My oldest teenager has some learning difficulties and is going back to college in September (depending on what the government say), so work for her might not be an option at the moment.

I look every day at jobs, have tried Aldi but my application got rejected.  There is an agency just down the road from me, they have got work for me before, so I need to really pester them.  I am not bothered if it's temporary or anything.

Today hubby has phoned Sky and managed to get the package reduced - the price has gone down from £98.50 to £63.00, that's for the TV and Broadband, with Netflix included still. I know DH won't get rid of it altogether.  At one point years ago, we were paying £120 a month!

We have discovered that we have a credit on our EDF account, I will be sorting that out, as I need to change the direct debit details, so that will be one of my jobs on Monday.  Next is going to be the phone contracts to see what we can do with those.  Have managed to reduce 2 of the tariffs making a grand saving of £6 a month, but every bit helps I guess, but really need to get rid.

Speaking to the Halifax is another of my priorities.

I understand that the shopping is a lot and will work on getting that down.

Will keep you updated of my progress.