Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share my lockdown savings with my partner?

martyn32111

gloriouslyhappy said:

Please try to talk her out of getting the puppy, it sounds like she's not the right person to look after a sentient being, it will become an unwanted thing like the unnecessary gym equipment..

Dont worry, thats something she does well. Had dogs all her life, we lost our lovely dog just before christmas.

JayD

It seems to me that, as you both keep your finances quite separate, then the savings are yours. However, as she is your partner, why not treat her to something nice with some of the money you are now saving?   

gloriouslyhappy

martyn32111 said:

gloriouslyhappy said:

Please try to talk her out of getting the puppy, it sounds like she's not the right person to look after a sentient being, it will become an unwanted thing like the unnecessary gym equipment..

Dont worry, thats something she does well. Had dogs all her life, we lost our lovely dog just before christmas.

Oh OK, very glad to hear that, but sorry to hear you lost your lovely dog.. Still, that means room for a new companion, there's a shelter pup out there who will be very pleased to get a forever home.. And plenty of free exercise with a dog!

widneslass

My goodness, being a partner is all about sharing you shouldn't even be discussing this, where is the love in this, not seeing any. 

pickledonionspaceraider

Hmm

People use the word 'selfish' like it is a bad thing. What is wrong with having something for yourself once in a while?  The money OP is saving from not commuting, its a short term thing, its not long term to equate to a huge huge sum.

Unless something is needed for the house, or the OH needs it for a particular purpose, I think it is more of a game of entitlement than necessity. What would he use it for?

If everyone shared everything 100% of the time, no one would ever have anything for themselves.....what a life that would be...life is too short to not put yourself first, once in a while

OP and partner have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, so they don't have one joint account between them so they don't share all money all the time.- and this is the crux, as to why OH now feels, cos the OP is a few quid better off, they want in on it - on their terms, on this particular occasion, whilst still not wanting to have a joint pot..................so I think OH has a brass neck asking for half of this tbh.

If all money was shared all of the time in a joint account then yes, but in this case no

Fitzmichael

Wow! There must be something really special about her for you to be still with her.

LauraAR

Absolutely not and she's tight for bringing it up, based on the agreement it seems you have in place.
Using her own logic:

1. Seeing as she's 'lucky' to work from home all the time, does she contribute towards your travel expenses normally so that it's a shared expense? This is the only scenario in which I can understand her benefiting from you not travelling to work i.e. if she doesn't have to pay towards your travel. 
2. Does she share what she saves by not travelling (ever)?
3. Does she normally pay extra towards the house bills because she's home using the energy more?  If anything, now you're in a genuinely equal situation, when the bills are split equally, it's actually fair now.

I'm interested to understand her justification for being entitled to shares of something she doesn't normally pay into or indeed have to be inconvenienced by. Sounds to me like she's been pocketing her 'travel money' for a while now. 

gloriouslyhappy

widneslass said:

My goodness, being a partner is all about sharing you shouldn't even be discussing this, where is the love in this, not seeing any. 

This strikes me as naive, some people are better money managers than others, and just because you're partners doesn't mean you shouldn't look out for your own as well as the joint finances. Of course it should be discussed! How else can informed decisions be made?

Gloria_Steeth

My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish.

You are lucky to be able to work from home and not having to put yourself at risk on the front line.

IMHO, meanness of spirit in not wanting to share your lockdown savings is more significant than the money itself, especially if your partner would have shared with you, had the situation been reversed. However, we don't know your partner. Perhaps she keeps any windfalls that come her way for herself, in which case I guess it's fair enough to do likewise in your situation.