Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share my lockdown savings with my partner?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, such as mortgage and groceries. We both work full-time - my partner usually from home and I usually commute. But since the pandemic began I've been working from home too, so I'm saving money I'd usually spend on travel etc. My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish. She's not saving any more than normal. Should I share my lockdown savings with her? 

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

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sammyjammy

If you want to share it then share it, if not then don't.  Nobody elses opinion counts.

74jax

No one can comment, it's what you want really. 

thorsoak

Is it really a "partnership" when one doesn't share with the other?   Asking for a friend ;-)

Mojisola

I don't understand the logic - does she share the money she saves by working from home with you?

Spendless

As lockdown was announced on the evening of Mon March 23rd, I went into work on Fri 27th March, was called into the office and given my notice. I haven't worked since. I got my last pay packet mid April. When I read some scenarios on here, I think to myself, thank goodness I married someone who when I lost my job didn't take the view that they weren't going to feed and support me whilst I didn't work because I see increasingly 'my' money in posts. .
Btw- if ever a household has to claim means tested benefts, there's no 'his' and 'hers' money it's all taken into account 

Fireflyaway

What do you do if either of you gets a pay rise? I'm assuming the recipient keeps the extra? 
Because you are not completely combining your finances I'd say you keep the extra but maybe treat the two of you to take away with some of your extra money. I've got more money at the moment and I'm putting it to one side just in case I get the call to say don't bother coming back to work! 

onwards&upwards

What a very sad question. 

SeaVixen

OP doesn't explicitly say how you split the household costs. If you split all costs 50/50, then you should keep it.
If you split them by any other ratio, (e.g. she pays more to the household bills as she's there all day, or she pays more because she has a higher salary) then you should share your windfall accordingly now that things have changed. 

Regardless of this, if you think it will become a big problem, then maybe use the money for something of yours that she will be happy about. 
In our house, that could be my OH upgrading his computer - while it's technically his, I benefit from it occasionally too! Or buying a more attractive way to store his various collections (they're his responsibility, but they take up so much space I'm also invested in how the storage fits with our other decor!)

Or like others have suggested, keep it in a savings pot. Knowing it's there to draw on is a safety blanket for both of you! 

Pollycat

Does anyone else find the term 'me and my partner' to be somewhat at odds given the nature of this 'dilemma'?

ApocalypticTortoise

Why would you even have to ask?

Contributions to household expenses should be adjusted according to income. If one person is clearly earning more, regardless of the circumstances, then they should contribute a bigger portion towards expenses. Then you both have the same amount of disposable income.

Why would you consider not doing that?