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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share my lockdown savings with my partner?

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Comments

  • saajan_12
    saajan_12 Posts: 5,333 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Does partner share their year round commute savings with you? Do they contribute more to the household bills as they are using the heating / Internet etc all day , year round? 
    This should be treated as the same. Generally no, separate finances means things related to your individual jobs and stay separate. 
  • A1ec
    A1ec Posts: 1 Newbie
    First Post
    That's not the question you should be asking, it should be "Are we in a relationship as Partners, or are we just Lodging together in the same house?"
    If your answer is that "your in a relationship as Partners", then share your savings, in fact, share everything.
    If your answer is "We are just Lodging together in the same house" then keep your savings for your own selfish means.
  • Socajam
    Socajam Posts: 1,238 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My partner and I have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, such as mortgage and groceries. We both work full-time - my partner usually from home and I usually commute. But since the pandemic began I've been working from home too, so I'm saving money I'd usually spend on travel etc. My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish. She's not saving any more than normal. Should I share my lockdown savings with her? 

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

    😲 If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
    🙄 Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
    I would not share it.
    I would put the money into either an emergency fund or life happens fund - the way the economy is going, that could just be around the corner.
    I think your partner is being petty to even suggest something like this just because for once you got the opportunity to work from home. This would not even cross my mind in my relationship - it just goes to show that your partner is counting beans.
  • It should be equal. What will she do if you reduce earnings either by choice/circumstance? My wife decided to work 4 days a week. I decided to take a 9 month break. Neither of us particularly like our jobs but we work to pay half the bills and work more if we want spending money. My current role is high stress, long hours and bonus pay, but in a few years I might not be earning so manage my finance accordingly and my wife trusts me to be responsible. 
  • babylonfree
    babylonfree Posts: 75 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    I’d get a new partner.
  • All these people saying you should share it “you’re a partnership” or “what a sad question” etc have obviously never been burnt (and good for them). Having learnt the very hard way when sharing my financial gains in a relationship, I would say keep what is yours (assuming you don’t have kids together). It will take me a very long time, if ever, to trust anyone enough again to share what is rightfully and morally mine. Maybe treat yourselves or a takeaway or something like that like someone else suggested, but my suggestion would be to keep it.
  • Swami_Trinel
    Swami_Trinel Posts: 35 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 10 June 2020 at 6:40AM
    cb4fwh said:
    My wife works part-time, whilst I work full-time. I probably earn ten times as much as she does, and both out of our incomes go into one joint account - we don’t have separate bank accounts. She spends more than she contributes, but I have no problem with that as she makes me happy :-)
    Finally. I was beginning to think it was only our household that operated like this. Just before I was married I received some trusted advice "share everything". 
    I earn exactly double what my wife does, but everything goes in and out of the same pot. Any other configuration is a complete anathema to me. 
    Incidentally, I'm saving over £300 per month by working from home and even more by not going out. That money is making a significant contribution to OUR house deposit.

    BTW, is this a relatively new phenomen or is it the preserve of couples who both earn large salaries? 
  • This really depends on how you split your finances. If you pay 50/50 to food, utilities etc then you effectively contribute to the expenses incurred in her working from home during normal times. If she gets some of these costs reimbursed by her employer or through tax then she has benefited in the past, possibly without sharing with you so you may well just be on the up for a change. That said, money arguments put a lot of strain on relationships and a bunch of flowers/bottle of wine/insert other treat here,  plus the promise that the first big night out is of her choice and on you might have avoided this in the first place. 
  • Robin9
    Robin9 Posts: 12,913 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 10 June 2020 at 6:47AM
    What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine. Prov. A humorous way of saying, "Everything belongs to me.";

    I think the old saying should really be ;

    What's yours is ours, what's mine is ours.

    What odd (selfish) arrangements some couples have.
    Never pay on an estimated bill. Always read and understand your bill
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