Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share my lockdown savings with my partner?

Rachel355

If you had posed this question last year I would have asked ‘does the person earning more, contribute more to household bills?, does your partner usually pay more towards electricity if she works from home and therefore uses more?’ and those type of questions.

However it’s 2020. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic where millions have lost their jobs / about to loose their jobs / have seen their incomes dramatically decline and are struggling to make ends meet. If both you and your partner are in the enviable position where you still have your jobs, and actually have surplus money right now perhaps the moral dilemma is which worthy cause to give that surplus to? Food banks? Charities that support to give poorer kids a tablet to do their home schooling on? The list could go on.
If you have to spend It on yourself, then buy something or a service from a local business who may be struggling, and whatever that be, enjoy that together, you and your partner. Appreciate your good fortune and share that with others.

DPS-2016

If you already splitting everything then it sounds like a reduction in commuting costs increases your disposable income to do with what you wish.  
Do you contribute less say when petrol prices go up?  

W_Y_S_I_W_Y_G

Everything is based upon trust....that's IT, nothing else! 
Naturally, everyone here has an opinion and all of these will cause you further conflict. 
Perhaps you've come to the Forum to receive the feedback you wish to hear and maybe you've already made up your mind? 
TALK...please!! 
Have a discussion and express your opinion, as that is the way to resolve this. 
Why do you wish to rely upon a cornucopia of strangers, with opinions and their own baggage, in order to resolve your personal dilemma. We are NOT impartial... 
Take from these responses what you will, but TALK with (not to, or at) your partner and let her know your feelings. 
Blokes bottle up too much and want a quick fix - don't fall-back upon that.
Best of luck.

Dorahthea

The day she starts contrbuting to your travel costs is the day you should give her a share of your savings. 

Tim11111000111

Obviously you and your partner are free to agree whatever you feel is fair.

My feeling is that based on the current 'agreement', you are perfectly entitled to keep your savings. You both contribute towards the household expenses; what you do with the rest of your income is up to you.

I assume your partner wasn't contributing to your expenses (commuting costs, food) when you were working in the office? That was always your money to spend as you "wished" (or needed to), and now it's your money to save. Your partner is "lucky" to work from home full time anyway and not need to pay those expenses. 

pollypenny

Depends how long the partnership has been in existence. If it's fairly new, I would be cautious, but otherwise share the bonus with a treat or two or boost savings. 

grumiofoundation

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, such as mortgage and groceries. We both work full-time - my partner usually from home and I usually commute. But since the pandemic began I've been working from home too, so I'm saving money I'd usually spend on travel etc. My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish. She's not saving any more than normal. Should I share my lockdown savings with her? 

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

😲 If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

🙄 Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

You own a house together* - if you still believe its 'your' money you need to reassess your relationship (and your attitude towards money). 



If your partner won the lottery you wouldn't expect them to share any of that with you?

If you lost your job you wouldn't expect them to support you?


I have been working from home and therefore spent ~£300 less on travel for the last couple of months. That money may be in my bank account but to me it is not 'my' money it forms part of OUR savings. If I said 'thats my money that I saved' my partner would laugh at me! We both how much and where all our money is as we can check the shared spreadsheet even though the money is technically split between bank accounts in our separate names. 

Obviously everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way to do it. You don't have to have a joint account (we don't) and pool all your money, running every penny you spend past each other but the money in your bank account isn't 'yours' in the same way the money in your partners bank account isn't 'theirs'. 


*spotted by my partner with whom money, and everything else, is shared. 

Pollycat

snudger said:

Although I share all my income with my wife, it is for no one here to judge how you share your finances.

<<snip>>

Then maybe it's not such a good idea to ask for advice from random strangers on t'interweb.

Nstar111

We do our finances using the "Barefoot" method. 60% take home pay into expenses (mortgage, bills, commuting). 10% spend on anything we each want.  10% Holiday fund. 20% debt reduction.  So if you have extra money around just split it up by all the above percentages so each pot gets a top up and no-one gets offended.  

sheherezade

I think your "partner" should ditch you!