Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share my lockdown savings with my partner?

comeandgo

It's your money, you spend it as you see fit.  My husband and I are in our second marriage and other than our house being jointly owned, our bank accounts are our own. He has his income, which I find out about when I do his tax return, and I have mine, which he has never asked or knows about.  

Primrose

I think anybody with an ounce of common sense at the moment would be putting any spare or surplus cash saved as a result of lockdown into an "emergency /contingency" fund.  The economy going forward is going to be incredibly difficult and a large  majority of  previousLy considered  "safe" jobs could yet be lost.  Hang onto your money, especially if your partner  has designs on spending it!  

HalfCut

A simple question that speaks volumes, seems to reflect the best and worst in all of us.

Anybody should be able to ask a question and speak without fear of criticism.

 It’s interesting to see the array of answers that reflect the breadth and depth of different relationships, from those with the “soul mate “ perspective , those with a pragmatic view,  to those  that have been betrayed  badly  (we feel for you even if some of us  do not truly understand) .

All I can say is  “The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind”

dianauni

If you are on a 50/50 arrangement I would suggest that you both put an agreed amount on one side each month to cover emergencies in the future including when restrictions are over a nice meal at your favourite restaurant.  In that way you are both treating each other. But perhaps the one who has always worked at home has a lower salary which reflects not having to pay travel costs? If the one who is now working from home is on the same salary as before it would be nice to treat the other to something as a loving gesture.  Morally the money he is saving is his but in a loving relationship surely one wants to share some of one’s good fortune? 

jonsue

OMG! What a sad PARTNERSHIP you must have. Look the word up in a dictionary and see if you qualify for the term!

gloriouslyhappy

This is a time for saving, not spending - neither of you should want to spend the extra as the second wave of this virus is coming..be prepared, and save while you can.

funkychic2004

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, such as mortgage and groceries. We both work full-time - my partner usually from home and I usually commute. But since the pandemic began I've been working from home too, so I'm saving money I'd usually spend on travel etc. My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish. She's not saving any more than normal. Should I share my lockdown savings with her? 

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

😲 If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

🙄 Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

Personally speaking, if you don't know the answer to this "dilemma", you may have bigger problems in your relationship. 

Like most here, I'd ask 1) is the cost of living split 50/50?, 2) is there a gap between salaries; eg. she earns £x amount less/more than you?, 3) what would you be looking to spend these "savings" on?

My boyfriend and I are saving a deposit for our own place so we've been saving extra due to the lack of our commute too. At no point, did either of us think "No, I'm not sharing" because we have a common goal. Is this not something that could be applicable to you and your partner?

If not, it does seem like you don't want to share and are looking at us to tell you not to. So, just do what you want. 

mikeroche1981

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I have separate bank accounts and split all shared costs, such as mortgage and groceries. We both work full-time - my partner usually from home and I usually commute. But since the pandemic began I've been working from home too, so I'm saving money I'd usually spend on travel etc. My partner thinks I should share this with her as I'm "lucky" to be working from home now, but I see it as my money to spend as I wish. She's not saving any more than normal. Should I share my lockdown savings with her? 

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

😲 If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

🙄 Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

Does she share your commute bills when you’re travelling to work? Nope..... Thought so 😂

Marvel1

Why are you together?

martyn32111

Holy cow, looking at some of these comments about why are you together etc. If the wife and I had a shared account we would be penniless. Been married over ten years, when we met i found out she had she had built up £25k in debt (whilst lvigin with her parents for free and workng full time), this got paid off with an inheritacne, built up another £15k of debt and now finally after years paid it off. She has always worked full time (earning approx £20k) and NEVER paid any bills, mortgage etc. This for me is the reason our bank accounts are kept apart. During lockdown she has spent £700 on gym equipment we dont have space for and is obsessing over buying a puppy for £500+.