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Future is Bright

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Long rambling post I fear for my first diary post but here goes....

I've spent all my 20s in and out of debt (mainly in). I'd say a lot of it was gambling, the rest was living above my means. I'd have a good month and splurge on holidays, days out etc and then instantly regret it as the next month the debt is still there and bigger. Also spent 8 years with someone who was just as bad with money as I was which definitely didn't help. We were both constantly bailing eachother out one month then spending a lot the next month. We always planned to live together and buy a house but neither of us ever had any money and our credit scores were shot (his more than mine)

Fast forward to now... I'm turning 30 in July. In a new relationship. He's very good with money and it's something we talk about a lot in a positive way which encourages me to keep on track. Recently i registered my details on GamStop for 5year self exclusion (longest time period they had) as although my gambling had gone down I could feel myself slipping back into my old ways and it was creeping up. Plus I felt dishonest to my partner about gambling a lot and keeping it from him. I still have a few debts but they are nearly gone (will post separate about them) and a LISA which has a healthy amount in. Moved in with my partner just before lockdown. He owns his place so pays everything, I just pay for food. We are looking at buying somewhere in around 2years so I can still save a lot by him doing this.

Just keeping this diary to keep me accountable and to share ideas with like-minded people

Thanks for reading if you made it to the bottom lol
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Replies

  • AnxiousTheElephantAnxiousTheElephant Forumite
    92 posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    So.. the financials as of today...

    House Savings (LISA) £5028.91
    Other savings plans will be starting (emergency fund/annual payments)


    Debts
                                                        Balance.  Apr.     Payment
    Capital One CC (£400 limit).    £300.      34.9?   Usually clear every month
    TM Legal.                                   £298.         0.       £9/week
    Lantern.                                     £762.09.     0.     £30/week
    Arc Europe.                               £776.39.     0.     £35.50/week

    I pay weekly as that's what I get paid and it was the "safest" way to pay as much as I can rather than put it to one side and lay monthly. Capital One Apr I think is that when the 0% ends (end of this month). The other 3 are 0% as they are old debts with debt recovery companies.

    Recently been offered settlement on TM Legal for £208 which I've asked to split into two payments this week and 2 weeks time.

    And currently working out a settlement with lantern... Me - 250, them - 700, me - 350, them - 600... I've gone back with £450 and asked for 30 days to pay so will see what they say.

  • MovingForwardsMovingForwards Forumite
    5.4K posts
    1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary
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    Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!

    Gambling is so easy to fall in to, my blip was when I was 18, spent all my money in an hour and had nothing until my next pay. That was a huge wake up call for me and I'm glad you are getting help. It's so easy nowadays with everything being online. Add in the stresses of the now and it's not a good mix.

    My ex had a drink problem and liked to buy whatever he wanted, leaving little money for paying bills, but continuing to spend on the CC, robbing Peter to pay Paul was a way of life, nothing was going to change, I faced a life of debt / no money until he threw me a lifeline by falling for someone else 😂 although I tried to make it work, I couldn't so planned my new life a year later I had it.  20 years i had walked away from.

    Nearly 4 years later, I cleared my historic debts by F&F offers / counter offers and saved a deposit at the same time.

    My savings were things like 1p a day and 52 weeks savings challenges. Plus a chunk of my wages the day they hit my account. Everytime a bill came out or I used my debit card, if there was 99p and under sitting in my current account I transferred it to savings.

    I had different savings accounts to cover mortgage, broker, legal fees. A spreadsheet listing income / outgoings and I budgeted down to the last penny. I also had a dedicated current account to save money up to clear my debts by F&F.

    I joined here and after a bit of reading started a debt diary. Then I moved on to a saving diary, now I'm staying with my saving diary as I need to save up again as I spent nearly everything buying my home.

    Focus on clearing your debts by F&F, the more distance you have with creditor arrangements when going for a mortgage, the better it is.

    Keep posting as the support and encouragement you get here is amazing; helps keep your focus!

    You will never walk alone here, plenty have been down the road before you and come out the otherside.

  • Skint_yet_AgainSkint_yet_Again Forumite
    4.4K posts
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
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    Well done on recognising the gambling problem again and registering with GamStop. I believe there is a gambling support thread on here somewhere which may help with supporting you. 

    Good look with your f&f settlements. It must feel good to see the debts going down and to have more positive future to look forward to. 
    0% credit card £1360 ~ paid in full
    0% Car Loan £7500 ~ paid in full
    JAN 2020 = NOW DEBT FREE :)
    Emergency fund £1000 now 51 and saving for retirement !
  • edited 12 May at 11:34AM
    AnxiousTheElephantAnxiousTheElephant Forumite
    92 posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    edited 12 May at 11:34AM
    Thanks for your replies. I feel like I'm so close to being debt free.. I can't wait to have an extra £100 a week where I'm not paying these off.

    My partner is coming into some money within the next month and has offered to settle my debts as he doesn't want it hanging over us but I think I would rather pay it myself. Partly as I'm so close to doing it but also I think some is to do with my last relationship. Not that my current partner would "hold it against me" but that was how it was with my ex. Very much I've paid X for us to do something so you should pay X for something etc. 

    On another note I'm back on the surveys and already got £9.08 from prolific. I like to "save" these payments and just do one transfer a month like an extra wage.

    Also my partners bday end of the month. I've just bought him a Nespresso machine (he has been on about getting one for a while). It was £199.99 down to £99 and then I had some Amazon vouchers so only ended up paying £54. And I can claim 100 free capsules
  • savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
    14.9K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts
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    Hi Anxious, bless you for being brave enough to post and starting to make a positive step. We are all on here for various reasons, I spent a fortune doing up my house, was totally ripped off by builders so had to restart by saving on here and then became ill with a v low salary.  It's great they are offering settlements and I wish you well on your journey.We are all trying hard to save and reduce our spending and with this common goal you will fit right in I am sure.
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
  • AnxiousTheElephantAnxiousTheElephant Forumite
    92 posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    Get paid on Fridays and already planning how/where I'm going to spend this weeks. Settlement confirmed with TM.. half this Friday half 29th. Still waiting to hear from lantern.

    Definitely want to start paying into my LISA again next month. Maxed it out last tax year mostly with overtime/bonus over xmas. Would really like to have that maxed before xmas this year so I can start saving to put all 4k in as soon as next tax year begins (maximise the interest)

    Did have a second income self employed but tbh hadn't been pushing that as much this year (lost some focus) now can't do it due to social distancing etc. Hopefully when things become a bit more "normal" I can restart.
  • AnxiousTheElephantAnxiousTheElephant Forumite
    92 posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    My partner and I recently binge watched the whole of Game of Thrones and loved it. I'm a big reader (well can be - need to get back into it) and wanted to read the books!! Found them on eBay being sold 2nd hand by music magpie for £15.88.. had £9.08 PayPal credit from prolific surveys so only paid £6.80!! 
  • MovingForwardsMovingForwards Forumite
    5.4K posts
    1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary
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    Well done on your bargains! Surveys are a good way to earn some pocket money; I save mine up for ages before cashing them in as vouchers.

    Can you put a quid or two into your LISA each week, that way you see it increasing a little and know your deposit is going up each time.
  • AnxiousTheElephantAnxiousTheElephant Forumite
    92 posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    Can you put a quid or two into your LISA each week, that way you see it increasing a little and know your deposit is going up each time.
    I did debate putting some in there but really focusing on paying off my debts atm. I have a "spare" £100 this week's pay but I thought it best to keep it to one side incase I hear back from lantern re a settlement. Maybe I will do 50/50 (literally lol)
  • MovingForwardsMovingForwards Forumite
    5.4K posts
    1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary
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    I used to pay money into my dedicated debt bank account, over and above the instalments so I could go in with F&F offers. But I also paid myself into savings as I wanted to see my mortgage deposit going up as my debts were going down!
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