A lightbulb?-Now MM's 5 in 4 challenge!

mhe

Hope you and your children enjoyed yourself today.
Could you start feeding DH with sandwiches for his dinner and when he moans tell him there wasnt enough money for anything else as the min payments on CC keep going up. If his life starts to suffer he might get his LBM2

MidlandsMum

Oh, as far as I am concerned this morning he can get lost. Caught him reading my texts. What does he think I'm doing? having an affair? When would I have time? Am tempted to put all the money I am saving from MY money toward MY debt.

Verbatim

MidlandsMum wrote: »

Oh, as far as I am concerned this morning he can get lost. Caught him reading my texts. What does he think I'm doing? having an affair? When would I have time? Am tempted to put all the money I am saving from MY money toward MY debt.

Of course you should!

Keeping_Positive

I would proiritise your debt first regardless of rates. If you are making the effort then you should reap any reward.

mhe

wendy24g wrote: »

I would proiritise your debt first regardless of rates. If you are making the effort then you should reap any reward.

I agree. you and your children are the ones making all the sacrifices and alterations to lifestyle ATM so you should see your debts come down. I think he needs to see the impact of the debts. Cheap dinners, no nibbles in the house cupboards full of Smartprice stuff or asking him to take you to Aldi instead. Until he has his LBM he isnt going to change - remember thats what made you change your ways. He needs help to reach this LBM. What can you think of that you could get rid of, not buy etc that would really hack him off!!

MidlandsMum

Yes, I think I will pay my debts off first. And I think I will go it in order of smallest to largest as the largest is at the lowest APR.

Explained to DS1 that Mum's a bit skint at the minute, but that's only because I'm using the money towards other things to make sure that when he starts high school in September I will have enough spare cash to give him an allowance each week for him to use towards socialising with the new friends he will make and then, when he's older he can have his family allowance to buy clothes with. He's a bright kid, he understands cash is tight. The little one caught me drooling over some pretty dress jewellery in the window of a shop today and said he would buy it for me. Bless him. I told him when he is older and working and rich I expect to be spoiled at Christmas and birthdays but until then it's my job to spoil him. I splashed out 2 pounds on some gourmet jelly beans and we shared them. Yum!

Keeping_Positive

Arent kids soooo sweet at times

neverdespairgirl

MidlandsMum wrote: »

Oh, as far as I am concerned this morning he can get lost. Caught him reading my texts. What does he think I'm doing? having an affair? When would I have time? Am tempted to put all the money I am saving from MY money toward MY debt.

I'd go mad at OH if he did that, it's a serious invasion of privacy in my book. Definintely put the money you are saving towards your debts, as he's splashing out hundreds on golf gear!

MidlandsMum

I think my husband is schizophrenic. One minute he's got is head in the sand and nother time he's wandering around the house with his lightbulb flickering on and off. He sat down and asked me this morning if it would be worth us getting a bank loan to pay off the cards and debts. I told him I didnt want to. I dont think he still quite understands just how much debt we are in. So, we came to a deal. He thinks a loan is the way forward, I think it's a silly idea so I have given myself the challenge of coming to him in May with 5 statements all showing paid off. Be them store cards, bits left on credit cards, whatever. If I can do this, we carry on my way, if not, we look at getting a loan.
Of course, we all know I will get my way .

Got £2 in the current account until Friday, so at least I will have reached my own little personal goal of having *something* left of my wages at the end of the month. Will still have to move some cash around come Friday (payday) but as I keep telling myself (and the FlyLady website tells me) "It didn't get this way overnight, and it's not going to get better overnight either".

Made some homemade chicken noodle and vegetable soup with the leftover chicken.

It's bl00dy vile.

Ah well, I'll try again next week. *Goes into the kitchen and opens a tin of Heinz instead*

Verbatim

MidlandsMum wrote: »

I think my husband is schizophrenic. One minute he's got is head in the sand and nother time he's wandering around the house with his lightbulb flickering on and off. He sat down and asked me this morning if it would be worth us getting a bank loan to pay off the cards and debts. I told him I didnt want to. I dont think he still quite understands just how much debt we are in. So, we came to a deal. He thinks a loan is the way forward, I think it's a silly idea so I have given myself the challenge of coming to him in May with 5 statements all showing paid off. Be them store cards, bits left on credit cards, whatever. If I can do this, we carry on my way, if not, we look at getting a loan.
Of course, we all know I will get my way .

Got £2 in the current account until Friday, so at least I will have reached my own little personal gold of having *something* left of my wages at the end of the month. Will still have to move some cash around come Friday (payday) but as I keep telling myself (and the FlyLady website tells me) "It didn't get this way overnight, and it's not going to get better overnight either".

Can you explain to him that if you got a loan you would be in more debt, with more interest to pay off over a longer period of time and that he would then think the problem was solved and could continue spending. The next time ends didn't meet (or the time after that) could mean the house would be repossessed. As could any upset like redundancy or long term illness.

I think Martin has an eg somewhere of the true cost of buying something on credit cards. If you buy (golf clubs) at £1000 on a credit card and only pay the minimum payment it takes something like 40 years and squillions in interest. Worse if the card continues to be used of course as each purchase attracts interest.