SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Sistergold

Good evening ladies. 

Hope you have had a good start to your week. Mine has been a mixed bag really, Mr Ex sent me a message that he was out of work as of last week due to Covid restructuring and so he is job hunting. I guess he is telling me that the little he gives me will not be coming for now until he finds another job. Well checked and looks like that’s it and he will not need to back date any Child support payments? The system sucks! The system really makes it hard for the single parent so now I have to use up whatever I have and he will just carry on one day and no word of the “arrears”? I think the government should change this so that for any parent who does not support a child for whatever period they will owe the money to the other parent for life or until they have paid it back! As it is it means even if he has savings he can keep that while I use my own savings to look after the children? No wonder some woman just decide never to have children! Look I love them but it’s a tough life coping with the bills when the other parent will not do the right thing but hide behind the law! What is the hurry then to find a job? It does not matter its money I could have used for something else? Maybe it’s money I need to save for retirement or send the child to university? Ridiculous I tell you! 

Anyway rant over! 

On the money front I have managed to send another £1100 to building fund so now total at £13570 so still £86430 to find! 🙇🏽‍♀️

Considering the plans, I posted on a new thread to get feedback on the draft plans and got some interesting feedback on layout and sizes, interesting opinions and good food for thought. It was good and helped me to evaluate if I was going in a good personal direction with regards to that and for now everything is good and going as planned. One thing that was confirmed was that it will cost Around £150k which is what I had been given from start so not too bad. Once I am on £100k I will know which way to go as I am flexible to how much of the plan if at all  I finally go through with. I am still really excited about the prospects of an en-suite and utility room especially but one could easily fall into the trap of wanting to just OP? OP can be temping once the lump sum is on hand. The good thing is saving £100k is going to take a LONG time and I will decide based on life circumstances the year the money is there! Saving is always good and reason for saving can quickly change right? 

I sent a message to the architect today that I have not forgotten that I need to get back to him about the plans but will do so soon so that he can send plans for application. This will give me a chance to be 95% sure I won’t change my mind about sizes and all! I can not be 100% as plans have a habit of evolving but hopefully not! 

Last weekend was really good as I continued to declutter! It’s really getting addictive I feel. I can just see myself one day having a house with as little as possible and tidying  will be a breeze. Still have a long way to go though as I still have loads in my bedroom which still needs sorting through! 

Managed to fill two bin bags with cloths for charity so my wardrobe is looks better! Recycle bin was full as I got rid of boxes. 

Sistergold

Happy week
Wow time flies and this week has just flown by! It’s the week of the mortgage, payment went out on Monday and balance has gone down from £465090 on the 14th September to £462612 on the 15th of September. Just itching to move out of the £46££££ zone to £45££££ zone! 

Finalised the plans yesterday and also paid the architects fees last night -£3471 was paid and so building fund has moved from £13570 down to £10099. Bit depressing the fund going down but I guess it’s all part of the whole process at least one thing has been paid for towards the building of the extension. 

Architect informed me that plans were submitted today so it’s quite an exciting day and we will get the results bang on 8weeks! I can not wait as it could be a long way to building! 

Yesterday I also posted the plans on our neighbourhood whatsup group so that the neighbours are in the loop. Everyone seemed okay with the plans and wished me well. Did not want them to find out about the planning application without seeing it from me first, well just being neighbourly. I had already informed my most immediate neighbour right at the beginning of this process. 

I have gotten 3 builders whom the architect has recommended and I have sent them plans so as to get quotes and I will wait so they come for a site meeting and hopefully quotations will follow, this will take a few weeks I expect. 

I have also asked for quotations from 3 other builders I spotted building in my Neighborhood. I also hope to go on next door to see if I can find any other recommendations of builders who have worked with people on there. 

This week we have started looking at transfer to secondary schools and it’s been hectic arranging virtual meetings, zoom meetings, virtual viewings of potential schools for my son who will be moving to secondary school next September. It’s a big step though and I am excited but it’s exhausting and nerve wrecking as where he wants to go is not necessarily our catchment schools and well it’s a nightmare! I guess we just have to do the best we can and what will be will be but what a stress. 

I have been spending more than I should as I needed to get children pyjamas. Just bough these and other winter stuff from primark as that was my easiest shop to go to on my way home. Have spent about £250 just in primark over two days this month. 

Well that’s just a summary of my week! Hope everyone is doing well! 

Oh yes made OPs, 12k challenge and other savings! I am feeling like I am being financially prudent and hope to improve further! 

frankersBri

Yay! Won't be long until you're into the £450s @Sistergold! And great work on the OP's, 12k challenge and other savings. You are absolutely storming it!
Fingers crossed all goes well and the plans are approved swiftly! Also kudos to you being such a good neighbour 

Hazelnutty

Hey there! I'm in a similar position, although spending less, and I've come to realise that even though I won't be doing more than token OPs during the renovation, the improvement in quality of life for the family is worth it. Home is such an important space, especially when everything outside is so chaotic - it's a long-term investment in yours and your kids' wellbeing. What I'm saying is, if it's worth it to do and you can afford it, do it. OPing will always be there and you can get addicted again in the future!

We're also looking at secondary places. There are of course no open days so it's really tricky. We're also new to the city! Luckily our catchment school is good so if we don't get the 1st choice (chosen for size and subject mix) we'll be happy with 2nd. Good luck with your DS' choices!

Sistergold

frankersBri said:

Yay! Won't be long until you're into the £450s @Sistergold! And great work on the OP's, 12k challenge and other savings. You are absolutely storming it!
Fingers crossed all goes well and the plans are approved swiftly! Also kudos to you being such a good neighbour 

🤞 

Sistergold

@Hazelnutty
Thank you I do need the luck. Our catchment school is really good but for some reason he has friends planning to go to different school and we don’t necessarily fall into those schools catchment! Well we will see and he will just have to accept the outcome I guess! 

You are so right life is so short and quality of life is very important and whatever one can improve if possible should be improved! With Covid home has become even more important as we spend even more time there! 

Xx

Sistergold

Hello dear friends
Time really does fly and it has been more than a month since I have written on this diary! Life on forums can be busy and while I have been reading and contributing to other threads I have hardly kept up with my own thread. 🙀

I must say September and October has seen my whole plan to spend less go out of the window. I had to spend a lot on pyjamas and winter wear like thermal socks, tights, leggings etc. 

I have also been trying to declutter as I have reported before so I spent a few hundred pounds buying “really useful boxes” bought quite a number! Before I knew it I had spent quite a bit on that as I bought several boxes to store cloths in my wardrobe, store shoes under the bed. I also had food which I panic bought during first wave of COVID and it has been an eyesore in the dining room in some cardboard boxes so also wanted plastic boxes to store that. Now as it is all in plastic boxes I think it’s neater and I can see what’s inside. I will now try to keep up with my diary as I want to stay on track rather than continue in this spending spree. 

I am still waiting on the extension plans which might take till the end of the year to get a result from planning permission apparently. Building fund had gone down from just over £13k to just over £10k after paying architect. Last Friday I managed to bring the building fund back to over £13k and it’s now at a nice figure of £13700. 

Last week on the 14th mortgage payment was taken and balance is now at £460644 so I should get to £465£££s next month 👯‍♂️. Regular OP was also taken at the same time. 

Saving has not been easy and part of the spending was probably due to a slight sense of despair/depression as Mr Ex has not been working so it has been two months with no child support! I am not struggling to feed the children or pay my bills but I can not save as much. I am really annoyed and feel it’s unfair that one parent is left to cope and the other just says sorry I am not working and does not bother to do anything else. I know he has savings but he will not help with children as “he is not working” in the meantime I have to use part of my savings for the children. 

My last two children’s birthdays is coming soon and I gave them an allocation to spend and so they chose what they wanted which I then ordered on Amazon and they are both very happy with their presents and have been using the items quite a lot! 

I also spent a lot on LED lights. Bought 6 lights altogether 4x bedrooms, 1x lounge, 1x second lounge. It’s really nice though that it’s all remote controlled and you can set the mood with different colours. With the LED lights I feel I am also actually ready for Christmas! 

Now that birthday presents are done and the shopping bug seems to be subsiding I should tighten up a bit and start saving again. With no child support I will still not be able to save as much but I think I have to find where I can cut back a bit so that I don’t fail to save completely. In the spirit of saving I was thinking of having a “not much spend Christmas”. I say “not much spend” as I don’t think it will be good and neither will it be possible to have a “no spend Christmas”. So I will buy all the special foods and all but I will not buy anyone any gifts? I just feel that with COVID making this year an unusual year it will be good to cap the year with no presents for Christmas? 🤔 I know the children will not be happy but? Well I have spent so much this month and last month and I am not getting support from their father and I don’t know when he will start working again so it will be prudent for me to look after the pennies? Will see how that goes down with everybody. 

I am hopping to increase my exercise so as to cheer me up a bit as this whole virus situation and all the knock on effects of it namely no socialising and Mr Ex loss of job causes some kind of stress and low mood. It’s all very emotionally challenging to be honest🙇🏽‍♀️. 

Hope you are holding up laddies? Any challenges anyone? This single life can be lonely sometimes? 

Anyone moving? Anyone bought a house? Anyone with something cheerful to share? I am all ears. 

I need to visit my spread sheets which I have not done in a while and I think tracking that could cheer me up? OPs are going well but it’s a bit boring as I have automated all of it to set OPs! Well being all automated means I don’t have to remember to do it, I also really now don’t miss that money, but I should remember to review it I guess from time to time? 

Save £12k in 2020 is also going well and is also an automated payment so I don’t have to think about that! 

I am hoping that next year will be a better year, nationally and personally. I am hoping December next year I will have broken my own record of savings ever achieved since singledom! If I can be financially disciplined it will really be good! I know we need to live aswell but I guess there will always be an element of sacrifice to achieve a lot more? What am I willing to sacrifice I wonder? This year I think I sacrificed on travel. This was forced on me really as the virus struck before I could travel. I have then decided not to bother with holidays until this is all over? Not good I know but I just felt I will be anxious of catching the virus and being single I don’t want to take any risks. So in as much as I have overspent past few weeks I think this year has also seen a lot of sacrifices which meant I spent less? 

Since joining forums I have also been going down the route of reducing and mindful spending. I am trying to cut out bad habits of buying what I don’t need and I am slowly getting better. 

Well so much to say! I guess I have not written for too long! Love to you all! 🥰

 

slm6002

Good to hear from you.  You have been busy.  Organising bits in the house does require money some of the time, but those boxes will last and can then be repurposed if and when you don't need them.
Not much happened at my end.  Dates for the divorce have been given at last but the finance side of things is going very slowly as OH wont give his information to the solicitors.  Until consent order signed and agreed by judge i cant put house on the market and move to 'MY' home.  I know it will eventually happen but i do get impatient.  I guess the longer it takes the more money i can save as not overpaying mortgage until its in just my name.
I have a very small budget for kids gifts for Christmas, because i know they get so much from elsewhere, they only need a token gift from me.  In theory they will now get one from their Dad.  This will be the first time he has ever had anything to do with picking them lol.
Anyway keep going you are doing brilliantly

Sistergold

@slm6002
hello. Divorce can really take a long time to finalise. This is very annoying as once you know it’s the right path for you you just want it over as quickly as possible. I am glad to know that you now have some dates for the divorce. The finance side of it makes it more tricky but it will eventually get sorted I guess. I abandoned everything financial initially but that did not make the process go any quicker. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you so that you can close that chapter of your love and move into your own house! 

Xx

Sistergold

Dear friends
I hope you all started the week in good spirits? Well as per previous post finances have been a big challenge with a lot of necessary and unnecessary spendings past 2 months but I am now trying to get back on track and see how much I can save this year. The whole saving mode started a bit late this year but I hope by end of year I would have picked up a few good habits on which I can improve next year! You laddies have all been wonderful and I have learnt and have been inspired a lot to be my better saving self. 

In the spirit of saving last week I managed to add money to the building fund to replace what I had used to pay architect. I have today managed to add another £6580 to bring the amount to £20280! I am so happy that I have managed to get to £20k before the end of the year! Not sure about next year with all the economic challenges but at least I will start at the beginning of the year. 

This money can be used as emergency fund if need be but hopefully it won’t come to that. Whatever happens I will not start building until the economy is truly back on its feet! I just feel at the moment and for a while it’s not such a good time to start any major projects as life seems to be so unpredictable and I don’t want any major stress to add to the mix. For now I will just save! 

Hope to hear that you are all okay! 😘