SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Sistergold
Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
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edited 2 May 2020 at 7:47AM in Mortgage-free wannabe
Hello all
SLLM - single ladies with large mortgages or single ladies who have previously had large mortgages or single laddies in the process of getting a large mortgage!  So if you are a lady and own your own house then yes this is for you. 
Yes I could not resist it any longer. Ladies large mortgage is a loose term so if you are single and £50k or 100k mortgage is huge for you if you take into account what you earn then please don’t be put off by the title of this thread feel free to join in.   
Also ladies if you are single but have finished paying your mortgage please also join in as we could really use your advice on how you did it as we are all hoping to get to that point of owning the house outright. 
I have been going in and out of other threads trying to find specific company of single ladies who have a very big mortgage. After much looking I decided to start this thread. I will be writing regularly but please I want this to be our diary not just my diary! Please anyone who have found themselves in this scary yet wonderful position  that I have found myself in please give me a shout! I would like to exchange everyday things and life experiences with all you courageous single ladies who are getting, or have or have had a large mortgage. 
This platform is for us single ladies to keep our spirits up in this seemingly lonely journey. 
I hope this will help keep us motivated and help us in achieving our dreams. I hope this thread will help others know it can be done. I do read other threads but then it’s like “ me and my other half have recently bought a house and are now in the process of overpaying” or “me and my other half are now planning to renovate or extend or remortgage or buy a bigger house “. I then just feel demotivated as I am just on my own trying to manage this mortgage! 
A LITTLE ABOUT ME!
I am single (divorced) female, with children who live with me and have a huge mortgage. I particularly find it huge as I am also not that young, born in the seventies so now in my late forties! 
Went on separation into renting and after finalisation of divorce decided to now work on buying my own forever home! Was not easy renting and saving for a deposit but I was determined as I know it was going to be even more challenging if I left it until after I am 50. I knew that the sooner I bought my own house the better as house prices seem to go up in general. So anyway started renting in 2016, started looking for a place end of 2018 and purchased 2019. Saving for the deposit was tough but hey I had to do it. 
I do love my house but it does come with a big mortgage, £487500 was the initial loan amount. 
The house I bought was in London as I just love London and work in London. I had to spend that much although not such a wise idea( on looking back) but as I have young children I wanted to find a quieter neighbourhood and being in London I needed parking and having 4 children I needed space and since I am easily disturbed by noise I needed to be away from busy roads, as I have children I needed a decent garden, so ladies you can see how all those add up and increase purchase price? 
My deposit was over 20% and it’s a 23 year variable mortgage discounted for two years after which it will go to bank SVR. 
On this thread we can talk about how we are coping with our mortgages, how we are coping with  house maintanance, how you feel about your house. Yes let’s talk about the joys and tears of owning a house! Let’s talk about how you enjoy sitting in your lounge or being in your bedroom, or being in the garden or how you have been forced to learn to paint or to learn some plumbing! 
I must confess there is more to a house than getting the mortgage I soon discovered! Have you seen how builders treat you when you want them to do some work for you? Well ladies we have a lot to just laugh about and cry about don’t you think? Please join in! 🧚🏾🧚🏾‍♀️
hope to hear from you all single ladies 



Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
£12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
MFiT-T6#27
To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
Am a single mom of 4. 
Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
«134567177

Comments

  • Sistergold
    Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    Hey there, 
    I don't have a mortgage yet, but I like to spend time on this board as I find it really hopeful and inspiring. I am just in the process of applying for a mortgage by myself. It comes after a history of repossession and bankruptcy (and mostly unrelated separation and divorce) so taking on debt again is feeling pretty daunting. The mortgage itself is pretty affordable, and won't be huge, but the fear relating to it is pretty big after my history. I am just making the most of the next couple of months to save the final bits of my deposit while the application goes through, whilst telling myself that it's OK if it all fails, I can try again later. I am buying the house I currently rent, so it won't make a lot of difference overall, just the mental shift of owning it.
    All the best for you and your four littlies.
    Dear Keeponknitting!
    your have come to the right thread! 
    I knew I was not alone in this feeling of I am just on my own. I like you went through a lot. By the time you divorce your spirit is just been through a lot and once out you are now needing to be courageous enough to get into this large debt(mortgage) on your own? It’s like always one big thing after another?  At this point you probably don’t feel confident about yourself or the world!? But hey girl we have to do it no matter what. I was just in your position last year wanting to buy so I know just how you feel! Please keep us updated in the progress of your purchase and we will be cheering you on!
    and well done in making this all important and best decision of your life!  
    Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
    Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
    Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
    Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
    MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
    £12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
    MFiT-T6#27
    To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
    Am a single mom of 4. 
    Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
  • Sistergold
    Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    Hello laddies
    Reflections for today.
    1. Not sure why but just wanted to look back on why I decided to buy a house when I did? This will include timing and also just even why buy at all? 
    2. I keep asking myself how I even managed to buy it? 
    3. Sometimes I ask myself should I have borrowed as much as I did?
    4. Then I ask generally do I regret buying?
    5. Am I afraid of things going wrong? 
    6. I would also want to look at the challenges that I faced which almost made me give up and how I overcame them as a single mortgage applicant. 
    7. I would also like to look at the advantages of being on my own even with this large mortgage! 
    8. The challenges I have found as a single homeowner. (Will not want to call them disadvantages)
    9. The advantages of renting before I bought.
    10. The disadvantages of renting before I bought. 
    11. What I did in preparation to mortgage application. 
    Will be just posting reflections as I go along so that someone, somewhere, somehow, maybe one day this might make one/more single lady/s not feel so lonely. I am sure this will help someone who is thinking of buying or in the process of buying, also for those who already bought answering those question will help in knowing how we all felt while we were in that process. 
    Please ladies feel free to also reflect back on those questions and answer as I would love to hear your stories.  Can answer as much or as little of the questions as you want! 😻

    Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
    Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
    Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
    Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
    MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
    £12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
    MFiT-T6#27
    To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
    Am a single mom of 4. 
    Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 90,130 Ambassador
    Academoney Grad I'm a Volunteer Ambassador Mortgage-free Glee! Name Dropper
    I am single & very late 50's.
    Finally in the last year of my mortgage which seemed huge in relation to my income.
    Have just taken out a home improvement loan though!
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.

    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
  • Sistergold
    Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 1 May 2020 at 9:30PM
    Hello laddies
    Answers to Reflections from the other day
    3. Sometimes I ask myself should I have borrowed as much as I did?
    While I was trying to buy my house I was so focused on getting a house which ticked all the boxes such that I borrowed the maximum I could borrow. Once I moved in I then went on to do some renovations. The renovations got bigger than I initially planned and thus I found myself out of pocket soon after moving in. This meant I did not have an emergency fund. At that point I stated worrying more about the size of my mortgage. 
    I have since rebuild some savings but now with the problems of Covid-19 I do wish I had taken a smaller mortgage. I still love my house and I still want to keep it but I now am going to focus on making overpayments to reduce monthly payments and also pay off Mortgage sooner. 
    I can not say I was not aware that I was over-stretching myself but my reasoning was if I get a bigger house I can always let out a room if need be but now with COVID-19 its obvious rentals are not guaranteed. 
    Having said that Yes I do worry about the size of the mortgage but its not a big worry and I just pray for the best as even if the mortgage was smaller things can still go wrong really. 
    I have started overpaying and I will focus on paying it off so that it does not continue to be a worry. 
    Conclusion
    On hind-site it would have been good to compromise on some things and get a smaller mortgage so that is what I would advise any other single lady that a big mortgage does cause a higher level of stress as the world seems more unpredictable. Always have a plan to what you would do if you fall on hard times, for me first option is to let out some of my bedrooms. I am happy to even share my bedroom with my children at that point to maximise on rentals, downstairs I have two lounges so this is all space I can utilise if I let  out some of the rooms upstairs. If push comes to shove I would rent out the whole house and move to a smaller cheaper house. 
    For now though I do have a secure job which has not been affected with the current crisis so i am grateful.
    Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
    Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
    Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
    Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
    MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
    £12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
    MFiT-T6#27
    To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
    Am a single mom of 4. 
    Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
  • Sistergold
    Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 8 May 2020 at 7:11PM
    Hello laddies
    Answers to Reflections from the other day
    4. Then I ask generally do I regret buying?
    Buying was the best thing I ever did for me and for my children. They are really settled, they are not worried about moving again and having to make new friends. My immediate neighbours are friendly and my children are in the same school as theirs. My Close has under 10 houses and we have a Whatsup group we all are in to communicate any safety concerns, arrange get togethers, and everyone in the Close is friendly. Area is very quiet and safe. Buying this house was like it was meant to be. All the other houses where my offers were not accepted had things I had compromised on from my wish list but with this house everything I wished for I got and more. So I have no regrets about buying this house and  no regrets about location.
    Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
    Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
    Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
    Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
    MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
    £12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
    MFiT-T6#27
    To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
    Am a single mom of 4. 
    Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
  • Sistergold
    Sistergold Posts: 2,030 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    Hello laddies
    Answers to Reflections from the other day
    6. I would also want to look at the challenges that I faced which almost made me give up and how I overcame them as a single mortgage applicant. 
    A. Estate agents being overbearing and biased against me because I am a single female acting as if I don't know what type of house or area I want to live in. I just became more determined and kept on searching insisting on what I wanted.

    B. My offers not going anywhere even when I offered above asking price. I just kept on searching and wanting and believing and getting more determined. More like what is meant to be will be just took the refusal to mean God was just taking me to my ideal house in the end I was lucky to meet a seller who was also single and kept her word despite being advised to dump me. I communicate with the lady who sold me this house even now. 😊

    C. Mortgage adviser at estate agent being biased against me as an older single woman. I just asserted myself and terminated his services, found a different mortgage adviser who really worked for me and did his job well. Laddies a mortgage adviser can make you or break you, good choice will be the difference between getting a house or not. A mortgage adviser will help you choose the right bank for your circumstances, he will know what to include and what to leave out form your application. 

    D. Initially even with my large budget I could not tick all items on my wish list in the area i initially wanted.  I increased my deposit and also broadened my search area. Went into the outer parts of my initial desired area and I managed to get all I wanted for the right money. 

    E. My first mortgage offer had a certain condition I had to meet before they could release the money on completion and initially I tried to meet it but in the end there was not going to be enough time and it was not all up to me. This first mortgage offer had a very low rate which was good. On the advice of my mortgage adviser we carried on with the rest of the purchase process then last minute he made a new application to a different bank which got me an offer with no conditions attached but the interest rate was higher meaning higher payments for me but it was better than not being able to buy my house. The second application was not done immediately to avoid doing too many credit checks within a short space of time as this is not good on the credit report.

    F. Too many outgoings in my main account initially causing a lot of explanations to be needed by the bank.  Opened another account for other miscellaneous bank transactions, waited a few months then did another application which went through without affordability issues with a different bank.

    G. Age being against me. Just accepted it as a fact and kept on believing and also knowing that this was the youngest I will ever be so there was not going to be a better time as each year in was getting older. 

    H. Being female working against me. Just accepting that it is what it is

    I. Being a single mother working against me. Well again being more determined and accepting the things i can not change, pushed myself more for the greater goal.

    H. Feeling guilty about working so much to get the deposit as the children are still young. Well I focused on the fact that I could adjust that once I got the house and it was also for the benefit of the children. Also accepted that once done its done and I told myself I had no choice as renting was not good for our future.
    Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £266.8k, target £243,750(halfway!)
    Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
    Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️), 
    Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳). 
    MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
    £12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
    MFiT-T6#27
    To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
    Am a single mom of 4. 
    Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓
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