5 months to emerge as a butterfly

benbenandme

Hi all, thank you for your messages xx

So I did something a bit silly but lives to tell the tale ... I have been chatting for a while with a guy who lives nowhere near me... I needed to get away from here for a bit so booked a hotel for the night, met up with him, had fun, did some shopping together then came home. I know it was a crazy thing to do but it did me good to get away. I don't expect to hear from him again and don't particularly want or need to, it just served a purpose. I paid for the room with clubcard vouchers and he was getting dinner (but forgot his wallet ....). We only got burger and chips so wasn't a big issue, I was careful not to pay for anything else after that. 

I do feel a bit more motivated again, today is blitzing the housework day, my brother is visiting tomorrow so that is an incentive to get it done. I stripped the bed when I got up so have made a start already. Will keep you all updated

Buffythedebtslayer

I know this won't be popular but I think that is brilliant, and have done similar myself I think it is a good reminder of the opportunities and the possibilities that are available for us! 

xx 

benbenandme

Thank you Buffy xx I did tell my best male mate where i was going, which hotel, the guy details etc and he did text me every 2 hours to check I hadn't been murdered I had facetimed the guy quite a few times over the last few weeks so knew what he looked like etc. I get its a risky thing to do but so is meeting someone in a bar. It must have done the trick as my house is almost clean and tidy now - bed has been remade, kitchen cleaned, bathroom cleaned, hoovered through, all rubbish taken out, just need to mop the kitchen/bathroom floors now and iron a couple of bits. 

benbenandme

I have been out for lunch today with my brother which was lovely, this afternoon I need to go for a walk and get some steps in. I was supposed to be volunteering at Parkrun again tomorrow but I've had an email saying they've had to cancel it as travellers have moved onto the site and it's not safe
The footie season starts again for us tonight, can't wait

efes_shareholder

benbenandme said:

Thank you Buffy xx I did tell my best male mate where i was going, which hotel, the guy details etc and he did text me every 2 hours to check I hadn't been murdered I had facetimed the guy quite a few times over the last few weeks so knew what he looked like etc. I get its a risky thing to do but so is meeting someone in a bar. It must have done the trick as my house is almost clean and tidy now - bed has been remade, kitchen cleaned, bathroom cleaned, hoovered through, all rubbish taken out, just need to mop the kitchen/bathroom floors now and iron a couple of bits. 

My best friend did similar and I did tell her off although if you have being as safe as you can be about it and letting people know where you are , you are grown up to decide your own moves........its obviously put a spring in your step 
I'd recommend a little look at the specials on love honey , always helps me get rid of my pent up frustrations

benbenandme

EFES - For me a lot of it is about having company, having someone to snuggle up with and not being alone  etc not just sex, and it was quite exciting
Right, footie is back at last, that will also help! We drew last night, I'm happy with that. Today involves doing my 20,000 steps, doing 5 x 1 minute planks (started them again yesterday and tummy muscles can feel it this morning so that's good). Some food shopping, sorting some banking bits and watching some footie. 
Have a good day everyone x

benbenandme

So I am acutely aware that I've done very little from my holiday to do list Yesterday however I did book an eye test and went and had it done and have bought some new glasses, much needed and I can pick them up in 2 weeks. £90 but money that has to be spent unfortunately. This morning I have met a friend for brunch, hopefully tonight I'm meeting a guy I was chatting to for a drink, we'll see. 
I didn't do the food shopping yesterday either, might see if I can stretch it out til tomorrow, ds is working tonight so won't want dinner, so I can do myself something from the cupboard I reckon. 

benbenandme

So tonight abs has randomly messaged me on facebook and we've chatted for about an hour. Was lovely but has set me off again so I have sent him a message being totally honest and saying that I know its bonkers but I have feelings for him and cant deal with seeing pics of him and new girlfriend so am deleting him from facebook. I'll stay on whatsapp if he wants to. He hasn't read the message yet. I'm supposed to feel better for sending it but I don;t, maybe I will once I know I wont see the updates of the pair of them.

Buffythedebtslayer

benbenandme said:

So tonight abs has randomly messaged me on facebook and we've chatted for about an hour. Was lovely but has set me off again so I have sent him a message being totally honest and saying that I know its bonkers but I have feelings for him and cant deal with seeing pics of him and new girlfriend so am deleting him from facebook. I'll stay on whatsapp if he wants to. He hasn't read the message yet. I'm supposed to feel better for sending it but I don;t, maybe I will once I know I wont see the updates of the pair of them.

I know it feels crap, I don't think you know but I was seeing/chatting to (every damn day during lockdown) a guy referred to as !!!!!! head in my diary, he was a lovely friend at the start, and had been since 2018,  but as lockdown came to an end he blew hot and cold basically. It was really messing me up, one minute I had a future with him and we were making plans and then the next he would be distant. I broke things off with him twice and I don't think he quite believed until the second time. Life is far less complicated without him, it really hurt but it is much better without him. You do have to put yourself first and that is what you are doing and that is good and right XXXX 

benbenandme

Thanks Buffy, this one just feels strange as he is such a decent guy and would have made such a lovely mate but I know that can't work if I have feelings for him. I truly hope he is happy with this new girlfriend, I have my reservations but that's not my place to say, I remember him telling me about her when we first met and even he said she had a game-plan to get him and that he wasn't interested in her but it obviously worked. I know this is the best thing for me in the long run but it is hard. 
He has read the message this morning but hasn't responded although that isn't unusual, he often reads them then replies later. Just to cheer me up though the original hottie decided to message this morning   I haven't heard from him for about ten days and was wondering what was going on, anyway he's messaged to say he's been crazy busy with work (I know that's true) and he's had the kids lots cos of the summer holidays but that we'll meet up soon. It was good timing, I needed that today