5 months to emerge as a butterfly

benbenandme

So the holidays are nearly over, just the weekend left to go. So, time for a love life update ...  I haven't mentioned this on here before but I've developed a stupid crush on one of my neighbours. He moved in when Mr S was here, I clocked him straight away and thought he looked cute, he was newly divorced, similar age to me etc. Anyway, after Mr S left and I began online dating I saw a guy I liked the look of, sent a message asking if he'd like to chat and then realised it was him, living opposite me I quickly sent another message, saying I'd then realised he was my neighbour ... he replied confirming he was, but nothing further in the way of chat. I replied saying if he wanted to go for a walk let me know (he'd mentioned something about it on his profile and I was doing my Lands End to John O'Groats walk at the time), again he didn't reply ... anyway, since then I have lost (a lot of) weight, and over time we have got to the point where we chat a bit as neighbours, usually just a friendly wave or hi, occasionally a little more than that. I was then seeing Andy, he was seeing someone for a bit, then I was single again, a week or so later a new lady started arriving at his. He has been seeing her since February, she comes over about once a week, depending on when he has his kids (she hasn't met them yet). I know I need to forget about him but it's really hard when I see him pretty much every day and (I know I'm not imagining this), he definitely clocks me sometimes, this morning for example I'd just got back from the beach (was wearing leggings and fitted top) and he was definitely checking me out. Why do I torture myself, he had the chance and wasn't interested, so why do I keep wanting him?? I think I just want to know if it was because we live too close or if he thinks I'm a minger It wouldn't work anyway as we live far too close so if it didn't work out it would be very awkward. Anyway, his lady turned up about half an hour ago with a big bag, so I'm guessing she's here for the weekend so that has put me in a grump, which is absolutely bonkers!! I wonder if it is that I'm not actually that keen on him but that he represents the security and reliability I'm after, that I want to feel that happy buzz when someone turns up for the weekend.

Because I know I need to just ignore him and look elsewhere I have been chatting with a few others online, I've got three at the moment; one is 37, newly single and just looking for fun ... the second is a fitness instructor, (46) haven't seen a picture of him yet though, am getting that tonight and will then decide whether to carry on ... the third is someone I saw online, thought looked okay, then saw at the beach one day - was too chicken to speak to him so waited til he showed up again online, anyway he did last night and we matched and were chatting - he is a sports coach (50). We'll see ...

Just to complicate it further  ... ... the friend that I went for a walk with on Monday was someone that I first met just before I met Andy - we went for a coffee and there was no spark there at all, but we arranged to meet up again for a walk one day. Anyway, since then we have met up several times and he is lovely. Not my type whatsoever and it would never go anywhere as we are so different, but he is a lovely guy, no ego, just nice It has become more of a friends with benefits arrangement which suits us both fine. He would make a great partner for someone but not me unfortunately (he has never had a job, he lives a rather eco-warrior, hippy type lifestyle, that while appealing isn't what I'm after in a long-term partner). But he is a good friend and will listen to me babble on for hours and is similar to me with the eating / walking stuff that I do. 

So, to recap, I have found a good friend who I wish could be partner material but isn't, I have 3 others that I'm chatting with (but that doesn't mean much at all online), and one neighbour who I want out of my head  

In other news ... today I did a nice 10 mile walk nice and early down the beach, I went shopping to finally buy some new jeans as I need to try them on - the changing rooms were still closed so I didn't bother getting any ... and I've had £40 pay out from Quidco today that was very welcome for the boiler fund. Oh and the oven was cleaned I'll update my list in the next post, sorry for the rather lengthy waffle

Blackcats

That's a lot going on Ben Ben!  Funnily I noticed in posts a while ago mention of your neighbour and I did wonder! 

For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing - keeping your options open and having some fun.  Just need to concentrate and make sure the right message is sent to the right person when you are chatting to more than one person 😋

efes_shareholder

i'm a great advocate of playing the dinner game whilst you are looking for an ideal partner ,when you stop looking they generally appear and like buses they usually all come along at once

benbenandme

Blackcats - I have two male neighbours, both are cute, this one lives opposite, the other one lives next door with his girlfriend (who is also lovely). The next door neighbours look out for me a lot, he will come round and bollock ds if needed The one over the road needs to realise that the blonde thing he's with is not a patch on me  

Blackcats

Wish I lived in your neighbourhood - I have nice neighbours but definitely no neighbours that come under the cute category 🤣

Blackcats

Wish I lived in your neighbourhood - I have nice neighbours but definitely no neighbours that come under the cute category 🤣

benbenandme

It's nice having a cute neighbour but when you fancy the pants off them and then keep seeing a little blonde thing rocking up at his door it isn't nice  

So last night I was chatting more to the 37 year old and the fitness instructor. He sent through a pic and he is quite good looking although not what I go for generally. I am meeting the 37 year old today for coffee and a dog walk (he has a puppy Old English Bulldog  , I will report back later

Other than that I had a lady join me selling my cards yesterday, was quite unexpected, she'd seen a post I'd done somewhere on Facebook and enquired - we chatted a lot yesterday and she signed up last night so that was all very exciting It did mean quite  a late night as we were chatting about it a lot, so only about 5.5 hours sleep for me last night so I wasn't feeling like my early morning walk today,I treated myself to making a coffee and going back to bed with the laptop for half an hour

benbenandme

So I promised I'd report back ... well it went better than expected, he was absolutely lovely and his puppy Bulldog was to die for    We chatted for ages and lots of fun was had   we were both clear that it was just a bit of no strings fun, hopefully we will meet up again, it was just unexpectedly nice - really easy to chat to, a lovely guy. 

I'm meeting the fitness instructor one tomorrow for coffee in the morning, I'm feeling very half-hearted about it but I felt a bit like that this morning so I figured I ought to give him a chance and see. 

I'm glad I didn't buy any jeans yesterday - I tried on some old ones today (I bought them before ds was born and he is nearly 18 now), and they finally fit without a roll of fat splodging out the top I always loved them but they never really fitted, whereas now I can wear them, yay!

Right, football kicks-off in 5 minutes

beanielou

Great news on the jeans

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh MY GOD. Where do you find these men?? 

I live in a desert! 

No men, no fun no nothing!!! 

Am so jealous!