Diary of an ordinary mum

monkey62

Just looking through the bank statement and I see that Stepchange have taken money for May.  I had agreed a break of three months from last month so have asked for them to reimburse me.  
I'm all set up to work from home now. I've had a bit of time off with depression due to my current job - middle management. I'm gonna be doing something else but for the same company. This all kicks in tomorrow and although I'm looking forward to it I'm a little apprehensive about it too as I'll be working with the people I once managed.  
If it's nice out tomorrow Dd and her dad will be cleaning the bunnies out and they will also be doing a roast, well that's the plan.

CreditCardJunkie

Good luck for tomorrow

monkey62

Many thanks CreditCardJunkie
Talk about in at the deep end, wow. Busy day for me today but I feel good and glad I've made the first step back. Im working with a really busy project team, the work is varied but interesting and nothing I'm not used to. Celebrated with me cooking up a scrummy curry for us tonight.  Will be bed early for me tonight.

monkey62

Had a chat with my manager today. There is going to be a reorganisation coming up and looks like my current job is gonna go. Now, that is fine by me as it looks like I'll be made redundant.  However,  there might be a possibility that I could carry on with this new role but that has yet to be determined.  It's all very much up in the air. I think my boss just thought she'd give me something else to think about. I was going to try and change my job later this year anyway so it might work out.
Maybe a fresh start is just what I need.

monkey62

I've been thinking about my last four days back at work. I thought I was quite upbeat about it all and willing to make the best out of a bad situation, but since the chat with my manager I am feeling that getting out of there would be the best thing for me.  I'm good at putting on a brave face but then when it all catches up with me I withdraw into a depressive mood. I have really been done over by the place I've worked at for many years due to changes in circumstances and personnel.  I am not going to dwell on it but it doesn't feel the same and I dont think it ever will. I would welcome redundancy.
On a lighter note, I'm glad to be reducing the debt by way of my unaffordable lending complaints.

Rgib89

Hello monkey62. 

Just thought I'd pop in and wish you all the best on your debt free journey. Have subscribed to follow your journey. 

Hope your well and keeping safe xx

monkey62

Hello Rgib89
Thank you, good to have your company.
  

monkey62

I have mentioned that OH and I have been drifting apart, well last night I overheard him on the phone. As is usual these days, I went up to bed before him but instead of getting into bed, putting the tele on etc., I went into the spare room to look for something and that's how I heard him.  The end of the conversation went, 'yes, me too.  I know, I can't wait either.  Yeah, love you'.  I went back to the bedroom, stomach churning a bit.  Then I was thinking of things, how he never wants to get involved in anything with us anymore, barely lifts a finger, mimics almost everything I say in a really childish silly tone.  I literally laid there all night, even when he come up, he never said anything to me, but that's usual.  I don't know why I didn't question him on it - but then I didn't want to make it real if you know what I mean.  This morning he's up - watching tele.  I am thinking about everything and preparing for the moment when I ask him about it 

monkey62

OH told me he's going away for a couple of weeks, I dont know where and dont care tbh. I'm looking forward to the break - thinking time.
Things on the work front are moving, there's a possibility I might be in line for another job but have to go down a process first. Everything is a process in that place. Again, could be positive- that's how I'm looking at it. I dont really want to be out of work at 51.
I have been going out walking regularly just lately and it really does improve me mentally and physically hopefully - I have some extra poundage that needs removing . Hopefully will be able to get out tomorrow but need to clean the house and have a glass of wine (or two...) after OH goes. We had a chat and know we dont work. I just hate the thought of having been taken for a mug!
I can only remain positive about everything and that's what I intend to do. 
Hope everyone has a good weekend 

SuperSavingD

Hi Monkey62

Just read your diary.  I bet you was fuming after hearing that.  Use the time to consider your needs like you say.  Certainly only pay off your debts and don’t pay any of his off.  There’s a few diaries on here where couples have split and what gets me is how determined and strong they have been throughout and even managed to still chip away at debts.  I’m sure you’ll make the right choice for you, sending a virtual hug.