Diary of an ordinary mum

Aarrgghhh!! Glad I got that off my chest  :)
Hello, ordinary mum here just trying to keep everything above water. Debts are totalling £12k which is being paid off via a Stepchange dmp. I've been doing this for about a year now so I've a review coming up. It's been difficult on the dmp  I went straight into it, no savings, then found this site and realised I'd not acted in my best interest but just wanted to keep some sort of payment going to avoid any potential 'trouble'.  It's time for me to keep a diary to track progress of my life in general and also getting rid of the debt. I want to change my job later in the year and whatever I do won't be as well paid but I'll feel better for it. 
I'll post more later but wanted to just take the plunge and say hello.

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Comments

  • FootyFanDan
    FootyFanDan Posts: 1,353
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    Hello 😊

     Welcome to the forum, good luck with your journey. I find having a diary is very therapeutic haha and it always keep me accountable.

     Do you have a debt free date in mind?


  • monkey62
    monkey62 Posts: 45
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    Hello FootyFanDan
    Thank you for the welcome.  I'm looking at about 4 years to clear the debt as is, but would like to bring that down a bit if possible.  How about you, are you in it for the long haul?
    OM  :)
  • FootyFanDan
    FootyFanDan Posts: 1,353
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    I guess its just trying to find that balance of debt payments/still living a bit. I have always struggled with that bit hehe.

    Not so much the long haul but at the earliest a year if not 18 months or so. Although I have been working hard the last 7 months too to try and get everything back in line. I had debt to sort but my main issue was priority bills was being missed, then I also owed Mum £1k, as well as not having any sort of emergency funds to pay for car repairs or anything breaking.

     Despite not having cleared of as much as I would have wanted to debt wise, in the 7 months I have managed to do the below

     Paid off the £1k to Mum

    Pay off nearly £700 in Utility bills I was behind

    Pay off £400 in Council tax arrears

    Pay off aprox £2k of debt

    Pay for all car repairs in December (£300)

     Wow its only when written I see how far I have come! The main thing I have fixed is the wreckless spending. The funds have always been there I just never utilised them properly. I have aprox £3.8k left to clear


  • monkey62
    monkey62 Posts: 45
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    Hello FFDan
    Yes, you have come a long way and its good to see it written down - makes us realise that even though it can be hard going it's worth it in the end.
    I've recently sent unaffordable lending complaints to some of my creditors and one has come back saying it's upheld and they had given me a small refund and cleared my balance - it was only a little balance, £300 odd but it adds up.  Just waiting on the others now.  I did have one back today saying they uphold the complaint and have refunded the interest but that I am still liable for the remaining balance.  I've gone back to them with my response so we'll see what happens.  Funny how I used to dread the post but now I quite look forward to receiving it.  All of my debts are with the more higher interest range of companies and they have all had plenty out of me in the past.  I know I stupidly borrowed it, but I think I'm starting to grow a pair now and am quite happy to play bat and ball for a while.
    I have just gone over budget for shopping this week - I didn't manage to get much from the supermarket so had to go to the smaller shops nearby which not only used more petrol, but their prices are much higher.  It's not like I even got a lot, just enough for the next 7 days or so.
    I hope everyone is managing to stay safe in these uncertain times.

  • foxgloves
    foxgloves Posts: 11,027
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    edited 21 March 2020 at 5:52PM
    It is always more expensive at the smaller local shops, Monkey62, but they do come in useful at times & some of them, such as the C**p do occasionally have good offers. Once you have got into the right mindset, you do find that the debts start to come down. We owed around £35k at worst & I've been very honest in my own dfw diary about how bad I was with money. I earned a decent salary & income doubled when I got together with my partner, but we frittered so much away - the sheer amount of wastage really only hitting me once I'd had my LBM & discovered budgeting. Amazingly, I found I LOVE budgeting. I found it actually facilitated me doing things, rather than preventing me & I wished I'd discovered it long before my 40s!
    I was just going to say that I'm sure your groceries went over budget because of you having to use a small shop, but do you do a regular weekly meal plan? I never did back in the Spendy Decades & wasted a fortune on food shopping, but I think meal planning is one of the things which has most helped us stick to our overall monthly budget. Things kind of escalated from meal planning & we now have pretty much a zero food waste policy in our house. I had to throw a mouldy avocado into the compost bucket today & I almost couldn't do it! It wasn't fit to eat though, so it had to go! I had missed it because it had dropped down into the veg part of our baskets. I've turned into someone who just went to Waitr*se every week to fill the trolley with whatever we fancied to someone who can easily get 3 or 4 meals plus soup & stock out of a roast chicken! 
    Anyway, I just popped on really to wish you luck in your debt-free endeavours,
    F

    "For each of our actions there are only consequences" (James Lovelock)"For in the true nature of things......every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold & silver" (Martin Luther King Jnr)
  • monkey62
    monkey62 Posts: 45
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    Thank you Foxgloves and hello
    Over the last couple of weeks I have really tried to think about meal planning and just buying for that.  I am ashamed to say I would spend a load of money in the supermarket, filling up the cupboards and the freezer, then go and get a take away - crazy! I do now try to use up what I have but I'm sure I can do better.  I have thrown loads of food away before now whilst there are people out there desperate for a meal.
    I am giving back though and have started to go through all my bits and bobs in the house with a view to taking them to the charity shops.  It's strange how what I thought I needed I am now willing to give away.  Thing is I haven't got any savings so need to work on this as well.  I think I might need to go self managed or lower my SC payments to try and build something up (if that's allowed?).  My rent is going up from April by £13 a month, and I'm sure the water direct debit will increase, the amount of times we're washing our hands  :)
    As I referred to earlier, I would like to change my job this year - My current situation is no good for my mental health and so I need to get out of there - it is a corporate managerial job and is well paid but I've learnt that chasing the money isn't everything - i thought I was lucky to get promoted three years ago - worse thing that has happened to me.
    I am in my 50s now and feel differently about a lot of things.  
    Tomorrow I'm catching up with my sister - our mother passed away 14 years ago so we'll go to the cemetery and then have lunch together.  My dd will be working but I'm sure I'll get something cuddly from her before she goes.
    A bit of a mixed bag of a post, as I'm laying areas of my life out - it will give me something to look back on  :)
  • janb5
    janb5 Posts: 2,616
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    Hi maybe you can list some of your things destined for the charity shop to selling on Ebay?  
  • foxgloves
    foxgloves Posts: 11,027
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    Well, I'm in the same age group as you, Monkey62 & can say that it's never too late to change because the prospect of greater financial security is a goal in itself. I can't think of any situations in life which are improved by being in debt. I wish I'd realised that 2 decades earlier, but at least I'm a reformed character now. I overspent my income from the age of 19 to well into my 40s. I honestly do believe it is possible to change even longstanding bad habits with money. Lots of our frittering was stopped by quite simple measures. What changed was our attitude. 
    Good luck with it all. 
    F

    "For each of our actions there are only consequences" (James Lovelock)"For in the true nature of things......every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold & silver" (Martin Luther King Jnr)
  • monkey62
    monkey62 Posts: 45
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    Thanks foxgloves - something to think about.
    janb5 - I've been looking at selling my items on ebay - my dd is going to help me initially.  I'll give it a go to see if it makes me some money, as long as it's not all too much of a faff I'll be alright.  I think ebay is one of those things you either take to or you don't, I've heard different things, but nothing ventured and all that.
    Since my last log in, I've had another successful outcome regarding an account which has now been whittled down to way past half of what it was before and so I will pay off the tiny balance they won't write off, next time I get paid.  I sent nearly all of my creditors an irresponsible lending complaint two months ago and am due to hear back from them round about now, but probably won't considering the situation out there - which is fine.  I've had one give me a refund and close the account, and this last one considerably reduced.  
    Dd not working at the moment, neither is Oh - he's doing my head in.  we're not much of a couple any more, haven't been for a while to be honest but now we're stuck in the house together it's all too clear why we started drifting apart.  Saying that, we did have a holiday booked for this week just gone, just a few days on the south coast which was cancelled, but the weather.. hasn't it been lovely.  I'll be expecting a refund on that as well, which I'm due any time soon.  Again, not a massive amount - we don't have expensive holidays, but a few days at the coast just recharges the batteries and I'm not prepared to negotiate on that.  We don't have/do anything else much so I see it as something which is good for the head and the heart.
    I'm going through the budget tomorrow, think it's time to go self managed now I'm doing okay with my upheld complaints.  I do need to make some changes anyway due to OH only receiving 80% of wages :o


  • monkey62
    monkey62 Posts: 45
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    What a lovely rainy day - I must have a hole or something in the back of my car somewhere because the back seats are wet - nowhere else, not even the back of the seat, just the bit you sit on.  Got some bin bags lying across the seats now.  Need to get that sorted soon.  Received the refund for the holiday we couldn't go on and that has gone straight into the emergency pot although I'll probably have to use it on the car.  I've also had a result with another loan due to an unaffordable lending complaint - although the whole thing wasn't written off, they have removed the interest and so now the outstanding balance is basically half of what it originally was, so all in all so far, I have reduced my debt by £1200 and I still have more to hear from.   Feels really good, such a boost.
    Going on the weekly shopping trip tomorrow - budget set at £65.  I will be writing my list this afternoon.
    Not sure it's gong to brighten up or not now for the rest of the week - never mind. Hope people are managing to stay safe.

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