Visiting Relatives

Pa_Ja

My partner and I have differing views on whether close family (Parents/Siblings), should have to request call / message ahead of visiting our house.
I'm quite happy for anyone to knock on the door and welcome them in whereas she hates this and would much prefer an organised date/time.
I appreciate not everyone is the same but was curious to know what the general consensus on here is.
Thanks

Faith177

Pa_Ja wrote: »

My partner and I have differing views on whether close family (Parents/Siblings), should have to request call / message ahead of visiting our house.
I'm quite happy for anyone to knock on the door and welcome them in whereas she hates this and would much prefer an organised date/time.
I appreciate not everyone is the same but was curious to know what the general consensus on here is.
Thanks

I have anxiety so someone just turning up would be my absolute worst nightmare

I’m with your partner on this one

elsien

As far as I'm concerned it's fine them calling in as and when if it's not every day, as long as they are equally as fine with you refusing them entry when it's not convenient, or telling them that it's time to leave when they've outstayed their welcome.
I tend to say to parent that she's got half an hour (or whatever) then I've got things to do if she drops by in passing. And I tell her when her time is up - that may be harder for an in-law to do. But if I am busy and say that it's a bad time and she can't come in at all, she's fine with that, as she is when I call in on her.
Calling in for meals etc is different, we prearrange that sort of thing.

Anyone who does drop in on me needs to know that my house is a shed and may not meet their hygiene standards - if you don't want that, then don't call in on the spur of the moment. I've got better things to do than keep a tidy house "Just in case." Again, I may feel differently if I thought that in-laws were judging me. As I live on my own and it's my own family I don't care, they can like it or lump it.

onwards&upwards

I think as long as they do knock and never just walk in that’s ok, and she has every right to ignore the knock if she wants and not let them in if she doesn’t feel able.

74jax

My daughter has moved out but is welcome round anytime. Even if I'm not home she's welcome in.

Other family is 3hrs away or in Ireland, so they can just turn up. But unlikely...

svain

immediate family never need to ask permission to see us or them .... in 40years I have never called ahead or even knocked to go and see my folks .... Just turn up and walk in thru the back door. It was the same arrangement with their parents. I would never enter if locked (i have a key) and they are not home

Anyone else it is always a quick text ahead to confirm suitable time.

hazyjo

Hate people just turning up! Happy for my other half to see me like this, but I'd at least like to change out of my trackies and do something with my hair if anyone else is coming lol!

melanzana

I don't mind too much either way as long the unannounced visitor takes me and my house as they find me!

However I think it is polite to send a quick text to say you are in the area and would it be convenient to pop in.

Mrsn

I don’t tend to mind people just rocking up but my OH prefers to know of people are coming.

That said all of our family lives 5+ miles away so do usually confirm if they’re planning on popping over.

Sea_Shell

We both wouldn't like unannounced visits, from either of our families, unless it was an emergency and also wouldn't just turn up at theirs either without calling ahead.

We always at least ring to check it's convenient first, but then we don't live just round the corner.

theoretica

I prefer warning because I may have plans - or the house a tip. I am more with her, especially if she feels they are judging her on the state of the house (whether they are or not).