Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

So much has changed in the years that have flown past. Biggest works full time and has the three children. Unfortunately the marriage didn’t work out so she is single Mum. But the Dads do have the kids regularly. Money is the problem for everyone. Her Eldest is now 11 and they have been to Bournemouth this weekend for a cheer leading competition. So they stayed in my Caravan. 

Twin 1 is still with her partner, his Mum and the other two children. 

Twin2 is at home with me. She has the sofa bed, so we are rather over crowded.
The boys have a lot of issues and so we have ongoing problems but on the whole it’s not as rough as it used to be. 

O is medicated but that needs reassessment as he grows. 

DS has become a more sensible adult now, has passed his HGV 1 and works for a roadside rescue service. Has been in a good relationship for a few years now.
Mum is still alive and kicking but has still not left the house since Covid. She is a bit of a recluse now. She has COPD so no longer does much but read and watch TV. 

My brother and sister are still living with their respective partners in France, although I think my Sister is hoping to move yet again but to Spain. They holiday there a lot.
My brother had a hip replacement in the beginning of the month and is recovering well. He hopes to be able to come back to see Mum in the Autumn. 

He has been allowed to drive again this week and is doing remarkably well.
 I think that’s all the news at the moment.
 I can’t believe that the boys have been living with me for over 4 years now. 

They are enjoying more time with their parents ( separately), now they are recovered from the cycle of drugs etc and have both got decent partners that support them. Mum is a changed woman and we are supporting her in being able to have her boys more. She and her new partner are having a baby of their own, which at first thought was a scary one. But in reality she is in such a different place that currently they are going to be able to keep it, with a support worker. 

I wish her well, which 4 years ago I would not have thought of her in the same way. 

Onwards and upwards to them all. 

pollyanna_26

Apologies for the typos still much too hot and humid here probably another storm on the way. We really need a good downpour to clear the air.

I'm pleased your mum is ok it's a shame so many are unwilling to go out. I know you both enjoyed your shopping trips  but with a health condition she's being careful.

I hope you do get to see her. Good news your brother seems ok I know you were worried about him.

You mentioned a while back DS had the new job and seemd to be settled.

I'm a bit stunned to hear how the ex has changed. She was piece of work and I never imagined she'd change.

It's good the boys can see their parents. I never thought they'd see their mum again after the night the police needed to be involved.

It must be a huge relief to you as you were the one trying to make things work over the years and under a lot of stress. It just shows taking time and doing everything right does work out in the end.

I used to worry as so much was resting on  you and sometimes it seemed too much.

DGD must be a bit older now. Does she still have time with the horses? Ihave no idea how school went for her..

I know you need to sort out income. it's a pity you don't have the shop anymore. I do understand it was costly to maintain and when you were taking the boys to and from school and having to attend al sorts of meetings it really wasn't viable

It's a vague hope but is twin 2 any good at all at lollowing your instructions out in the cabin to sew some simple makes?

You have the knowledge you just need someone to be the hands. Only other thing I can think of is something like Elaines you tube site.

i listen to music on You tube but thats the limit of my knowledge

Just looked at the signature you've had for a very long time and though some in the past doubted you you have loved, lived mattered amd made a very big diference when many would have given up a long time ago.

pollyx

Savvy_sewing

Thanks for those kind words Polly.
 I can’t think of a better signature. Life has been a roller coaster that is for sure. But all in all we are surviving and slowly things are getting better. 

pollyanna_26

I meant every word. It was quite  a roller coaster over the years with some horrible trolls who would later reappear with a different user name but very easy to spot as they weren't the brightest light bulb in the box. I remember  ourselves and others blocking them then they'd be back easily identifable again and sent on their way again.

I have never understood the mentality of people like that they must be hell to live with unless no one will go near them.

I remember having a few sharp words myselr years ago on the subject of rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic. Goodness knows how I came up with that!

It was at a time when DS was constantly after money sometimes to replace a car or all sorts of other reasons.It was before you had the boys and I think dgd and son were the only ones living at home.

You had the shop rental and other things to pay for also insurance your own outgoings  pension contribt

utions utility bills food and everything else. Think you had some savings too. He was so persistant you took some loans out lost what  savings you had and one day Ilooked at your post and you were wondering whether to ask your mum i she could lend you some money or should you take out another loan.

It wasn't anything important DS was asking for money for but I did suspect drugs.

I looked at the page and thought it's like rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic, The more money you gave him the more he demanded

I didn't want to upset you or fall out with you but I felt I should say something.    You had a busy life and a lot on your plate so I took a deep breath and wrote  It's as though you're rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic .

I knew about that because dd2 was training or what wasto be a verywell paid career in a couple of years. she started as a trainee nursery nurse afterher college course. Pay wasn't great but it was to be in a few years time'

    I didn't ask for any keep in her first year but did in her 2nd year when she had quite an increase. She started saying she needed various things but hadn't any money so I was paying\ After a while she would be going out withfriends on Saturday nights and it would be could I lend her money to the end of the month or money for work shoes or other things. sheb never paid anything back so in the end I told her she had to learn to budget as I couldn't keep paying for this that and the other.

It took her a while to believe I meant what I said but I avoided rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic.

I've been wondering with the boys seeing mum or dad do you get the chance to visit your mum? I remember you used to take her shopping and visting the charity shops pre pandemic.

There was also the friend you used to visit.

pollyx

KxMx

I'm glad things are more settled for you now. 

Just a suggestion, would it be worth seeking a second opinion about your hand? If it was me I'd want to be 200% sure there wasn't anything to be done, before I changed how I make my living. 

Savvy_sewing

KxMx said:

I'm glad things are more settled for you now. 

Just a suggestion, would it be worth seeking a second opinion about your hand? If it was me I'd want to be 200% sure there wasn't anything to be done, before I changed how I make my living. 

I will continue to seek solutions etc. although I have wanted to change my business model and this does seem like the best solution for me at the moment.

Savvy_sewing

Funnily today a Chance conversation brought up the possibility of creating a book or two, and if it was going to be of any interest. I was asked to look at my threads here on MSE and see what numbers had viewed. 

Well thousands of views it seems. So it can be a possibility.
maybe I might just see if there is any things that I can use. But I have a lot of other things going on right now. 

Then this evening I was in a zoom call across the continents and there was interest there too. 

Perhaps now I am in my 60s it’s time that I take to write about the things that I have learned along the way. 

tooldle

I don’t want to put you off but, of a number of friends who write and publish their works, only one earns a living that way. 
One friend in particular churns out a lot of work and, despite wining a few prizes for their work has never actually earned from it. 

With the friend who is making a living from their craft, researching and writing is only part of the job. In person readings, taking part in panel discussions, relevant festivals etc take up a chunk of time. Promoting the content takes a lot of their time. A hard market to crack indeed. 

On the other hand, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Good luck.

Savvy_sewing

tooldle said:

I don’t want to put you off but, of a number of friends who write and publish their works, only one earns a living that way. 
One friend in particular churns out a lot of work and, despite wining a few prizes for their work has never actually earned from it. 

With the friend who is making a living from their craft, researching and writing is only part of the job. In person readings, taking part in panel discussions, relevant festivals etc take up a chunk of time. Promoting the content takes a lot of their time. A hard market to crack indeed. 

On the other hand, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Good luck.

Yes I realise that it is not going to turn my world into gold. It is more about corralling information and making them more acceptable for problem solutions etc. 
We will see what I come up with. 

ameliapipers

Quite an interesting thread with your life experiences. I hope you are doing well now.