Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

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  • Savvy_sewingSavvy_sewing Forumite
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    I am much stronger now. More positive (most of the time). 
    It helps when I can reframe my words, and look at the positive side of life. 
    Hope all is well with everyone. 
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • TescodealqueenTescodealqueen Forumite
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    Nice to see you posting and you certainly need your bed!
  • edited 17 May at 7:52PM
    tooldletooldle Forumite
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    edited 17 May at 7:52PM
    I read an article in our local paper some months ago, which made me think of you. The article covered the shared lives carers scheme. Not sure if it is nationwide, but a scheme for those who require additional support, to live with and share the life of their carer  and family. https://www.wales247.co.uk/newport-brothers-share-story-for-stacey-dooley-podcast-series
    Maybe this is more than your twin may need, but just in case I’m sharing.
  • Savvy_sewingSavvy_sewing Forumite
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    tooldle said:
    I read an article in our local paper some months ago, which made me think of you. The article covered the shared lives carers scheme. Not sure if it is nationwide, but a scheme for those who require additional support, to live with and share the life of their carer  and family. https://www.wales247.co.uk/newport-brothers-share-story-for-stacey-dooley-podcast-series
    Maybe this is more than your twin may need, but just in case I’m sharing.
    Thankyou, I will look into it 
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • edited 18 May at 1:41PM
    pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    edited 18 May at 1:41PM
    I'm not sure if Twin2 recieves ESASG benefit but I can't understand why she doesn't qualify for PIP.
    Both Twin2 and yourself were let down very badly by all services when she had her baby.
    When she moved to Cornwall and the HMO she was financially abused and her life seemed to be a nightmare.
    Things may have been different if the Family from hell hadn't crossed her path but they did and despite all your efforts she had to move away.
    She was and still is a vulnerable young woman. I recall a while back she was getting some sort of help developing various skills that may help her in to some sort of employment but that seemed to come to an end.
    No doubbt you've searched the varoius benefits system for something to help her but it seems to me she is not getting the support from the state she should be. She may not have been able to have paid in to it but you have all your life and in doing so have contributed to a safety net for those who need it.



    I'm at a bit of a loss how you can solve the problem. If DGD andTwin2 could coexist in one bedroom it would help  but I think DGD hasn't forgotten the cousin who went for adoption.
    Anythinng in your large garden for Twin2 would be against council rules . I would look again at claming PIP for her. If she already receives ESA or any other help somewhere safe and near you may be possible. She'd still have your support and you would have your bed and private space.
    So many are struggling to find somewhere to live now but if she can get the financial support it may happen.
    If you want to post here don't let Trolls put you off. I think we all learned how to deal with them a while ago. I myself actually quoted some posts when responding as did othere unaware you were blocking them.
    Block, don't quote and adopt the nothing to see move on attitude seems the way to go. They can rant in to the ether.
    In fact there is nothing in your recent posts they can pick on to give you a verbal bashing. Sad souls that they are.
    The boys are settled and thriving with their needs being met.
    DGD is going back in to formal education. Biggest has moved on from the breakup and made a new better life. DS has surprised me by now taking responsability for his debt.
    Nothing to pick on there and judge. The Trolls will need to find a different bridge to lurk under.
    You made your plans SS and one by one they happened.
    Take care and to quote Beanie Keep Plodding.
    pollyx
    ETA Just came back to edit the typos no idea if I spotted them all. Somehow I'd managed to have two parts of something I posted appear in the middle of other things and making no sense at all.
    I had mentioned talking to a poster elsewhere on the forum. In our heads we believe we can still do everything "Forever Young" In reality we are no longer Spring Chickens and need to slow down. pace and rest when needed.
    Your're younger than me Savvy . Things are calmer and organised now but it's obvious you need your bed and time to just "Be"
    i do hope you can find a way to get that. Hopefully there will be a way to find somwhere near for Twin2 to live. You'd be able to keep  an eye on her while having your own space.
    Building your business means you need your bedtime routine then sleep more than ever
    and no being disturbed unless it's  an emergency rules.
    You wont get restful sleep downstairs with people coming and going.
    Time to put your needs first for once and see if it is possible.
    You've always been very good at mind mapping and planning which has brought positive results so perhaps try that.
    pollyx
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.

    There but for fortune go you and I.
  • DebbiedonutDebbiedonut Forumite
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    Savvy, so lovely to read your post. There are many of us who really miss you. It felt like you were a friend and I really enjoyed checking in every day to hear your news. It would be lovely if you could post a bit more. Lots of love to you and your family xxx
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