Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

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  • TescodealqueenTescodealqueen Forumite
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    Nice to see you posting and you certainly need your bed!
  • edited 17 May at 7:52PM
    tooldletooldle Forumite
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    edited 17 May at 7:52PM
    I read an article in our local paper some months ago, which made me think of you. The article covered the shared lives carers scheme. Not sure if it is nationwide, but a scheme for those who require additional support, to live with and share the life of their carer  and family. https://www.wales247.co.uk/newport-brothers-share-story-for-stacey-dooley-podcast-series
    Maybe this is more than your twin may need, but just in case I’m sharing.
  • Savvy_sewingSavvy_sewing Forumite
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    tooldle said:
    I read an article in our local paper some months ago, which made me think of you. The article covered the shared lives carers scheme. Not sure if it is nationwide, but a scheme for those who require additional support, to live with and share the life of their carer  and family. https://www.wales247.co.uk/newport-brothers-share-story-for-stacey-dooley-podcast-series
    Maybe this is more than your twin may need, but just in case I’m sharing.
    Thankyou, I will look into it 
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • edited 18 May at 1:41PM
    pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    edited 18 May at 1:41PM
    I'm not sure if Twin2 recieves ESASG benefit but I can't understand why she doesn't qualify for PIP.
    Both Twin2 and yourself were let down very badly by all services when she had her baby.
    When she moved to Cornwall and the HMO she was financially abused and her life seemed to be a nightmare.
    Things may have been different if the Family from hell hadn't crossed her path but they did and despite all your efforts she had to move away.
    She was and still is a vulnerable young woman. I recall a while back she was getting some sort of help developing various skills that may help her in to some sort of employment but that seemed to come to an end.
    No doubbt you've searched the varoius benefits system for something to help her but it seems to me she is not getting the support from the state she should be. She may not have been able to have paid in to it but you have all your life and in doing so have contributed to a safety net for those who need it.



    I'm at a bit of a loss how you can solve the problem. If DGD andTwin2 could coexist in one bedroom it would help  but I think DGD hasn't forgotten the cousin who went for adoption.
    Anythinng in your large garden for Twin2 would be against council rules . I would look again at claming PIP for her. If she already receives ESA or any other help somewhere safe and near you may be possible. She'd still have your support and you would have your bed and private space.
    So many are struggling to find somewhere to live now but if she can get the financial support it may happen.
    If you want to post here don't let Trolls put you off. I think we all learned how to deal with them a while ago. I myself actually quoted some posts when responding as did othere unaware you were blocking them.
    Block, don't quote and adopt the nothing to see move on attitude seems the way to go. They can rant in to the ether.
    In fact there is nothing in your recent posts they can pick on to give you a verbal bashing. Sad souls that they are.
    The boys are settled and thriving with their needs being met.
    DGD is going back in to formal education. Biggest has moved on from the breakup and made a new better life. DS has surprised me by now taking responsability for his debt.
    Nothing to pick on there and judge. The Trolls will need to find a different bridge to lurk under.
    You made your plans SS and one by one they happened.
    Take care and to quote Beanie Keep Plodding.
    pollyx
    ETA Just came back to edit the typos no idea if I spotted them all. Somehow I'd managed to have two parts of something I posted appear in the middle of other things and making no sense at all.
    I had mentioned talking to a poster elsewhere on the forum. In our heads we believe we can still do everything "Forever Young" In reality we are no longer Spring Chickens and need to slow down. pace and rest when needed.
    Your're younger than me Savvy . Things are calmer and organised now but it's obvious you need your bed and time to just "Be"
    i do hope you can find a way to get that. Hopefully there will be a way to find somwhere near for Twin2 to live. You'd be able to keep  an eye on her while having your own space.
    Building your business means you need your bedtime routine then sleep more than ever
    and no being disturbed unless it's  an emergency rules.
    You wont get restful sleep downstairs with people coming and going.
    Time to put your needs first for once and see if it is possible.
    You've always been very good at mind mapping and planning which has brought positive results so perhaps try that.
    pollyx
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.

    There but for fortune go you and I.
  • DebbiedonutDebbiedonut Forumite
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    Savvy, so lovely to read your post. There are many of us who really miss you. It felt like you were a friend and I really enjoyed checking in every day to hear your news. It would be lovely if you could post a bit more. Lots of love to you and your family xxx
  • edited 22 July at 10:01AM
    pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    edited 22 July at 10:01AM

    No idea if you still follow the forum but if you do it's that time of the year again so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SS and MANY HAPPY RETURNS.
    Hope all is well with you and yours and also those who read or post on your thread. I was pretty impressed with the person who read through this one from the start however more of a challenge would be all the threads way back through the years to the start when DGD was tiny.They're still in my bookmarks the highs and lows , good times and bad.
    Although there are still challenges things seem much more stable now especially since the little ones have settled in and now know they are "Home"
    Did you manage to reclaim your bed? Watching the wild fires in Portugal on TV reminded me of your holidays there and DGD swimming with the Dolphins.
    I know you love the sun but I've been like a wet lettuce the last few days, Wrong genes for hot and humid. Last night felt cooler and this morning was a bit chilly when I brought the milk in so have put a cardigan on. I'm planning to batch cook for the big chest freezer in the garage. I took refuge in there away from the heat and defrosted and sorted the freezer.
    The garden has been very productive veg, fruit and herbs so time to make use of those  then others later in the season. Do you still get time for growing? I've found it a sanity saver in the last couple of years. No visiting RHS and other gardens which always happened.
    If the virus stops mutating my targets are RHS Harlow Carr in Yorkshire and a lovely Lavender farm not far from there we've visited a number of times. Furthest away is Barnsdale in Rutland. I've been there a few times in the past. Geoff Hamilton took part in Gardeners World years ago from his garden there before his untimely death and is a lovely place to visit.
    I've watched the memorial collection DVD over the years and rewatched it again recently.
    That and the TV Virtual Walks through Snowdrops, Bluebells and Primroses did help me do the things I would normally do in real life.
    The Yorkshire Shepherdess and others did real walks too and it was like doing the walks myself . Some familiar some new to me.
    Take care and stay safe MC and any who may pop by.
    pollyx

    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.

    There but for fortune go you and I.
  • TescodealqueenTescodealqueen Forumite
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    Happy Birthday SS
  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    That's a lovely big update . Good you're having a breal in the caravan.  I was a bit taken aback when you said you now have Biggests dog but if he gets DGD outside to walk him he seems a bit of an assistance dog. Our much missed Oliver the tabby cat appointed himself an assistance cat and could gauge dds mood and sometimes woke me at night and I knew she needed checking.
    I can look back now at some of the pupils I taught and children in the support group for Autism. There wasn't a Spectrum back then and it was a long time before it was proved dd wasn't on the Spectrum. Looking back I now believe some pupils in the primary school had attachment disorder and it wes mainly boys.
    Not sure if you've experienced it but sometimes I'd whisper a secret to distract them from the meltdown. Something simple like where I was going on holiday. I did find wanting my attention when I was with another pupil or talking to another member of staff the boy would shout the secret out loud obiously to get my attention so I stopped the secrets. I hope things are more advanced these days with lots of ways to cope.
    I'm glad Twin2 has rekindled a previous relationship and has gone to visit him. Was it her who kept forgetting to take the pill can't remember that far back. Early days but it would be good if things went well with her and the ex both for herself, dgd and yourself.
    Make the most of a good nights sleep. The weather here is cool and cloudy. The beaches have been crammed through the hot days but it's not so busy today, There were 1000s for the annual 2 day airshow over the beach that didn't take place last summer or the previous one due to the Pandemic.
    I'm able to watch the Red Arrows, Typhhons and others from my back garden. It got too expensive and crowded in recent years so the garden is a very MSE option
    It's good you've kept up with Elaine I really miss her blog as she covered so many things and for those hit by these sudden rises in food , utilities and many things it would be very helpful. I had it pinned but after a while could no longer access it when she changed direction.
    It does sound as though DGD will cope better in school now. No idea what her dreams are now but do remember her wanting to be a Marine Biologist.
    Concentrating on videos and online teaching seems better now than the repairs , makes and alterations.
    I've wondered if sesigning and selling patterns could add to income. I read the Dottie Angel blog for years . Dottie was the alter ego of Tif Fussell a brit who found herself living in the suburbs in America.
    She invented Dottie who had a very different  laid back lifestyle crafting, upcycling and trawling thrift shops for all the quirky things she loved.
    Tiff designed sewing patterns under the Dottie Angel name. I trawled the internet and found some on Amazon under the Simpliicity name. It was quite a while before I had my own Dottie Angels clothes as I was too busy making them for others.She wrote some books and they're on a special books I will never part with shelf with the French General and others.
    There will be a way you can earn without deadlines and a lot of time at the machine
    Not sure if you qualify for any of the grants related to the rising cost of living. Martin has been discussing the situation on the forum  and there's info from  UGov  on the Benefits site.
    A positive re days at the beach is most youngsters are exhausted when they get home. I used to be too but unless there was sunburn involved sleep would come.
    I hope your mum is ok. As she's ECV it's understandable she's not going out. I'm still restricting the times I go out. So far youngest, her boyfreind or myself have had any of the forms of the Virus.
    Last time youngest and I were in town was last Oct when Superdoc needed her in for urgent tests. First face to face since shortly before the Covid news went live and he'd ordered her to stay indoors.
    Her pharmacy is the only one that has some of her meds so went to town for them  Marks was quiet so quick shop there. We'd picked a few things up from the Coop on the same site as the Surgery so were soon away.
    That Coop and the milkman have been brilliant for me and I must have saved a small fortune not going in big shops. It did make me realise that taking care of clothes, footwear, bedding and household items meant apart from food little needed replacing and the savings account was building higher then in normal times.
    Time for lunch then start batch cooking which should warm me up,
    pollyx


    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.

    There but for fortune go you and I.
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