Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Buffythedebtslayer

Been checking accounts - currently have 4729 in one savings account, 6780 in the other and 600 in my premium bonds, I think I going to use the money I borrowed to pay off the CC and whatever is left on the 0% deal. I wish I hadn't done it now. Just needed to feel like I was prepared for house bunny problems which looking back was silly, but I was as ever tired and stressed. I had actually forgotten how much I hate being in debt. hate the feeling. 

Right I need to go to bed! 

XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

Morning all, 

Mum has the District Nurse coming today, no clue of time. Downstairs is fairly tidy. I am out to lunch, the extreme heat warming doesn't apply to my area but it is still massively hot here. I do not want to move. Already emptied the dishwasher and had breakfast. Now to tidy up some more. Should do the rabbits too but don't want to be trapped in the garden when the nurse comes. Shower first. 

xx

milann

Enjoy lunch and hope it goes well with the nurse.

Willowtree222

How was the nurse? X

Buffythedebtslayer

milann said:

Enjoy lunch and hope it goes well with the nurse.

Willowtree222 said:

How was the nurse? X

The nurse clearly loves my mum and thinks she is great. Mum didn't mention her foot, said afterwards it was better. She did take photos of her legs, to show the doctor, this is the second time, no response, but now I am home we shall see. 

Company was great at lunch, food less so. but it was nice to see my friends. 

Tomorrow's drinks have been cancelled so I shall be gardening in the early morning and then sorting out the fish tank - new stand coming tomorrow hopefully should be straightforward. 

It will be good to get it sorted. Again impossibly hot tomorrow. UGH! 

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok, so yesterday I did my walk but stopped to talk to someone about their dog - we did chat for quite a few minutes and it meant my stupid fitbit stopped recording my minutes so I only got 23 minutes even tho I did the same walk I always do. Was so upset as didn't notice till 12.09!! Well I didn't float home so I know I did the walk but it is still frustrating. 

Today to make sure I get my 30 minutes I did a work out video this morning, much easier than going out in the heat etc and avoids talking to nice people and their dogs! Hers was very anxious, and we were sharing stories. Oh well! 

Didn't get out in the garden and mum has had her shower early so now I need to wait for a bit, she is more unsteady on her feet. 

That aside I am feeling quite good. The meal yesterday wasn't nice, burnt dry burger (my main was refunded) but I was surprised that I couldn't eat that much any way, I definitely have a smaller appetite these days (tho not for chocolate!!) and couldn't eat a 3 course meal now. Actually turned down dessert!  Interesting. 

I am watching something called Heartland, it is a level of Tweeness that you have to build up to. I have watched Ghost Whisperer, something about a Witch? and then Virgin Creek (river?) I love Twee. Everyone is in a little bubble of their community, and there is always a mayor or police person or whatever, nothing *that bad* ever happens (for example they are making a video about their farm in Heartland and it has gone wrong! The Jeopardy! oh and there is a party! the excitement!) Also the scenery is breath taking. ooo and now the straitlaced serious character has got drunk and is doing Karaoke - see this is going to be SO dramatic! 

I can't think what other things I have watched like this.... but there is a lot! 

Best get on - the fit stable hand has confessed that the pretty girl drives him crazy - Shocking development! 


 

 

Buffythedebtslayer

Was only motivated to clean out and rearrange the freezer, we don't have much useful food in there. I think I will need to go shopping today. We have no bread! cereal or possibly milk. Parking is a pain for Sainsburys so will take my back pack! 

I woke up feeling utterly depressed about everything. A friend messaged to meet up the week after next which is great but I was like that is so long away - she is that busy. I am not that busy. Life is already revolving around mum - get up feed the animals, let the dogs out, make tea, sort pills, have shower if I am quick, if not wait the two hours for mum to get up etc. Then make breakfast, plan lunch and dinner, ensure I am around to do both and watch tv this is basically my weekend but on every day. I think I am just sad my friend had to cancel and my other friend is off to her family for a week or so. I am going to a party on Saturday but that feels like a lot of pressure, people I haven't seen in a while.  I am so tired and look horrendous. Also it starts early as it is involves children and will finish early too so not really going to be much adult conversation or time. I do love who it is for tho, so won't miss it. 

I do really want some time away. The dogs had no accidents yesterday because I kept getting up to let them out (they won't go out in the garden alone) which was good but the conservatory still smells... everything here feels dirty and hot and frankly disgusting. House bun has taken to making a mess in response to new evil bun. Outside buns need cleaning out. Guinea pigs are going nuts in their too small cage. 

However trying to be positive this horrible weather finishes today and tomorrow should have a high of 22, BLISS so will be able to get on with things then. I am thinking the shed as it is going to be the place as can definitely make more space in there. 

oops think mum has got up. !!!!!!. 

[Deleted User]

Sorry things are so up and down at the moment and that you are not getting many fun times.  Is there anyone else you can arrange to meet up with to get you through to your next fun thing?

Decluttering really is good for the soul.  But try not to overwork yourself in this heat - it is just horrendous.

Buffythedebtslayer

No danger of over heating here - well there wasn't till I went shopping and I think I have given myself low grade sunstroke. I am sat in the living room melting now - 28 degrees (27 outside) Quite worried about Mum as she is voluntarily drinking water  so must be feeling it. 

The extra rabbits have created a situation which is upsetting me a fair bit now. Originally they were going to a rescue place about two weeks after they came here. In the midst of that the rescue got surprised by some dumped bunnies and although they are on a list they couldn't physically take them. 

In background my friend found a house with a garden and thought she might be able to keep them, I was fine with that she obviously misses them. 

But then she lost the house and said to go back to the original plan. 

Mum thinks that I am being used, that I am stupid to think my friend or the rescue are genuine and that I am now stuck with the rabbits. She is really rude to me, claiming none of my friends bar 3 are real and that I am too soft for my own good. She doesn't believe you can trust anyone at all. I fight so hard against this mentality. I don't believe that. 

My problem is I am quite fond of these two rabbits and IF I didn't live here and did have my own place I know I would keep them, I know I would, because it wouldn't matter, in that life my friends and their children would come over and see me and the animals and I would be crazy auntie Buffy with the animals. I would have more dogs too if I could, guinea pigs, I honestly do love animals. Twice since term ended I have gone and sat on my stool in the rabbit enclosure and that is the best I have felt. 

I just know if I do keep them she will go on about it. And constantly fighting her negativity about everything is so hard. Plus I know I won't have my own place and the way work is going I am going to have rethink everything in May next year and realistically doing anything with six rabbits is going to be too much (unless I can buy a two bedroom place) And rationally looking after Mum will only get worse, so more animals isn't the plan. However I am feeling pathetic about having so much of my life dictated to me when I know I want something different. It is even more annoying that I know it is the logical thing to do but she will believe I am doing because I "listened" to her and that does grate somewhat. She of course completely forgets this was the plan all along. 

tunathe_cat

Buffy   Hugs You are doing the best you can. You can and will get tidying all sorted as some one said in an earlier post minutes add up to hour . Baby steps or bunny hops x Enjoy weekend party