Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

[Deleted User]

oh buffy this is so sad.  Sending lots of love. xxx

crazy_cat_lady

So sorry

Honeysucklelou2

Oh Buffy, sorry to hear your news.

Buffythedebtslayer

Thank you XX Your kindness means such a lot. I know a guinea pig isn't everyone's idea of an important pet but I think they are brilliant little creatures who are so happy so much of the time. I am relieved she isn't suffering and now think the lump was perhaps a kidney issue and couldn't have been fixed no matter what I did. With everything else that is going on I haven't really allowed myself a good cry, all I want to do is sleep but I think that is because according to fitbit I am only sleeping 3 and half hours a night.....I am also being restless for a lot of time. I did nap today tho. with one of the dogs. 
I had to take Bun to vets this morning and he is doing well. his abscess is small and so we will leave that to be (continuing with antibiotics and pain relief) and his leg has healed well. So there is that. 

Moneywise I sort of forgot I will need petrol so that is going to be tight. The vet bill will be significant. Am also annoyed I can't cancel next week's hello fresh dinner thing. I decided I would get it once a month as my cooking skills need improving but got my dates mixed up. 
Long term I need to find my lone piggie and lone bun a friend. I am going to try a rescue for a rabbit but it is all a while a way yet. I have a load of amazon returns to do. Can't believe I will be back at work for real next week. All seems crazy right now.  

Buffythedebtslayer

Friday. Kinda meaningless in lockdown. But I am having a beer nonetheless. 
I have decided that this weekend I am doing exactly what I want. I don't know what that is but no doubt I will let you all know tomorrow night XX 

Four_Seasons

good for you, go for it x

Sun_Addict

Enjoy your beer and your weekend xx 🍻

Buffythedebtslayer

I have woken up with a strange headache I think induced by stress and if I don't get this out somewhere I will go nuts. I preface this by warning this sounds very self pitying and self absorbed so I am sorry. I know people do have it worse than me, one of my dearest friends definitely does. 
I think I am really angry at the situation at the moment or rather finally. Some of this comes from comparison to others. A lot of friends have spent lockdown yes working and stressed but had moments of enjoyment, family walks, cooking, duvet days, pj days, movie days. Here every day has been the same, get up make mum tea in bed, tidy up downstairs, let the dogs out, empty the dishwasher, shower, dress, make mum breakfast, work, work, remember meds, make lunch, meds, work, housework, walk, dinner, feed dogs, let dogs out, clear up, watch something on tv, wait ages for mum to go to bed, be summoned to do her meds, clear up, let the dogs out, go to bed  and do it all again, along with a full roast dinner on Sunday . It really brought it home to me the other day, someone on daytime tv made a joke about not wearing a bra or wearing pjs all the time and mum was like, well I haven't done that and neither have you! people shouldn't let their standards drop. And I thought no, I really haven't. It has to be constant. I mean don't get me wrong I am sat here now for the first time in ages in my nightie but that is because mum is feeling better and got up this morning first (I was 20 minutes later than normal, but it is Saturday) but is obviously out of sorts as I am "doing" the housework and not dressed. I may have been able to relax for a couple of hours every so often  and I do nap - but that isn't a curl up with book in a fluffy duvet, it is more pounding headache going to be sick must lay down type thing. It is relentless and mum is largely oblivious. 
When I think about why I haven't finished the shed or my room or sorted the house I realise that mum expects all this to be done but also for life to be in this routine. And for nothing to be disrupted. Also she is incredibly negative, for example our bathroom ceiling needs painting and I said I would do in at Easter, her response to this was oooooo that is hard, are you sure you can do that?  and I said thanks mum, of course I can paint the bathroom ceiling! but that is her response to everything and it is so hard when it is all you hear all the time now in Lockdown. 

And now work starts again and life becomes even more relentless. 
 

crazy_cat_lady

Just wanted to send you some love Buffy. I know it's an entirely different situation but I have thanked whatever higher power there is every single day during lockdown that I'm no longer with my ex husband. Some people are just really hard work, and I'm afraid that your mum is one of them. I'm not surprised you're so stressed. I know I would be in the same situation.
Much love

Willowtree222

I don't think that post sounds self pitying. I think you deserve a medal doing everything you are doing. I would have lost my temper by now. 
I understand the negative influence thing and it does take its toll on you after a while. 
There's not even a way you can get out and have a coffee or anything. 
Big hugs Buffy x