Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

beanielou

Oh & mine would have been 38 years this year. 

I was a very different person then. Feels like another life! 

f0xh0les

crazy_cat_lady said:

 Monday was my wedding anniversary - would have been 8 years married and 18 together.

And didn't you do well to hold it all together for that amount of time!  Hindsight is always 20-20 vision.

Congratulations on your baby becoming a man! Well, almost anyway.  Have you discussed the topic of rent yet? Always a good one to pull out of the bag when they are being utterly grown up and not at all childish.......

foxgloves

It truly must feel like the start of a new era, CCL. Your diary posts over Lockdown have shown how much 'moving forward' is a theme at your house this year.....especially with all the clearing out you've been doing & all the decorating & refurbing. And now you have both children in secondary school & able to take a bit more responsibility for themselves. It was good to see you'd got out on a walk again, as it was evident from your posts that your daily walks were doing you good both physically & with your headspace.
Good luck with your return to school too.
F x
P.S The builders DID bring a skip & it had barely landed on our drive before I was asking if we could add stuff to it!

crazy_cat_lady

I'm telling you all - skips are completely addictive. It feels like 'ugh, it's a lot of money for rubbish disposal' but the feeling of filling it up and knowing that stuff is gone from your house and you never have to see it again (especially when it's your own past life ) I wish I could swap my rubbish bin for a small skip
Apologies I didn't get back on yesterday - it took ages getting dd's nails off. I didn't think that we would be there until lunchtime. Then lunch, then the walk - by the time I got home ds was due home from school and I wanted to hear how he'd gone. Thankfully he loved it Mr anxiety went off to school and had a blimming brilliant day. Once I'd done him some dinner and then picked my crochet up I just didn't get back online. I felt quite tired, but I suppose we're heading towards our new normal as a family now. DD is back tomorrow and I'm back on Monday - and for the first time in 11 years I have no child at the school next door, so I can come and go from work almost as I please and not have to worry about getting to assemblies, or coming home straight from work if I need to stay late, or having kids in the building when I'm trying to work. It will be weird (and probably quite liberating).
DD and I enjoyed our lunch - I love the privacy of tables being further away than they usually are - suits my introverted nature. We had a good chat, and she said we should do it more often (bless her). Not sure what we're going to do today (if anything) but the weather still isn't good enough for me to do any of the masonry painting. Plus I'm winding down in preparation for going back to work next week. I might watch a film or box set while I wait for her to get up... or get my daily jobs done. 
As I mentioned, I was in quite a reflective mood on Monday. I don't know why I felt so much regret over everything, because the divorce has been the best decision I've ever made. I think it's more sadness over what might have been, or should have been, or how much time and effort I wasted. I also felt quite lonely for some reason. It was very fleeting, just that day - normal service has definitely resumed. I suppose it is a grieving process, and there's nothing wrong with remembering it all - I have my gorgeous kids and some happy memories to look back on. Lockdown has been pretty amazing for helping me to find some time and get my life in order - ready to start our new normal for the rest of 2020 and beyond!
Time for a cuppa I think, then I'll get on with some washing and rubbish emptying.

MeandO

I can totally relate to the sadness CCL even though neither of us would want our exes back in a million years. I think the phrase 'grieving for the life you thought you'd have' sums it up quite well. I still feel this a lot and think I always will, but you are doing an amazing job at carving out a new, happy life for yourself with the kids and are oozing positivity at the moment, it is so nice to read. xx

tunathe_cat

just caught up well done on house renovations ccl - wishing you a safe healthy new school term xx

crazy_cat_lady

Hello
Well, both of my kids are back at school now, and we have a local COVID outbreak in town. DD's first day was Friday, and by Friday after school there was an announcement that masks are compulsory for them in school from Monday in the communal areas. Didn't take long did it? I'm not particularly worried, but I think I'm going to tell my mam tomorrow that our visit will be the last one for a while. I'm not ever out and about in my own town apart from an occasional shop, but the kids see another 1100 kids at school every day. On top of that, the borough I work in has now reached number 5 in terms of numbers and has been added to the official watch list - main news and everything. Spoke to my Head a couple of days ago who told me that the next update is Tuesday (literally the day before the kids come back in). I have no idea what will happen if that borough goes back into lockdown - I assume I'm allowed to travel in and out for work but even if that is the case there won't be masks in actual lessons. I've seen my timetable and I teach 10 different classes plus my form class, and don't have fewer than 28 in a class. Again, I'm not unduly worried but I would say that I have a reasonable chance of catching something before too long... I shall have to ask f0xh0les advice on how to cope in a local lockdown where nobody else seems to give a toot about masks, social distancing or essential stuff only. I am actually looking forward to going back to work - I feel ready for it.
I've been quite busy the past couple of days with crochet stuff. My favourite designer put an advert out on fakeb00k asking for pattern testers. I had to fill in an application form, make a square and correct a pattern. Closing date is not officially until tomorrow but I got mine done and in yesterday afternoon because I was very keen indeed. I must have impressed because I've been offered a spot already. Apparently I found more mistakes in the pattern than she had put in, I'm really excited about it and hope there's something for me to have a go at soon. The only real area for improvement is apparently with the lighting on my photos. No idea how I sort that other than putting the flash on my phone when I photograph, but she says she will help me with that. Happy me I'm just working hard now on getting all my other projects finished. I have a lot on the go at the moment and considering the time I've not been in at work I haven't made a lot of progress - obviously busy with the house stuff (worth it).
Right - I'm getting back to it because I want to get some more crochet done before I go to bed tonight.

foxgloves

So your local area has gone onto the watchlist then, CCL. Our town dropped off the naughty list today after a significant spike, but numbers have apparently fallen back here now. I think things will be this way for a long time.
F x 

dawnybabes

We was in local lockdown (Some areas still are here) , though you wouldn’t know it ! 

janb5

How amazing that you can be a pattern tester ( note I`m not taking about Covid!)   How brilliant you`ve been chosen too...that`s such a feather in your cap!  Very old fashioned expression I know!