Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

in Debt free diaries
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Morning readers - long time and new.
I thought that with a new decade just round the corner (tomorrow) and the fact that my old diary has gotten very long now then it was time for another fresh start. I really hope that some of you have followed me over here, because I find it really supportive to know that so many of you are there and cheering me on - even if I don't say it enough.
So - where am I at right now? I am divorced (for almost a year now), with a court date to settle the finances looming (1 week today) living with my two gorgeous kids and 7 cats. Whilst I'm much better in my own head now I am a mess in many other areas of my life. I was debt free, but now I'm not thanks to a minor period of rebellion when I first separated from my ex, alongside court fees and trying to maintain a lifestyle I have finally realised I cannot afford on 1 wage. Court rumbles on but I have been in worse situations than this and ploughed on.
I am also recently recovering from a kidney infection which knocked me off my feet for a week and has made me re-evaluate my physical health. I had a 'full MOT' at the doctors, and whilst all blood tests have come back clear, my illness was a bit of a wake up call in that I have realised I need to be taking better care of myself.
So 2020 will be the year that I refocus on the basics - getting my health and finances in order (again). Hopefully with a little bit of humour and plenty of gratitude. :D
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Replies

  • Yours is one of many diaries I need to stop lurking on and start posting on - hope the next decade brings wonderful things for you and your family x
  • crazy_cat_ladycrazy_cat_lady Forumite
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    How I have relaxed so far this holiday :) I woke up this morning at 7am, got up, had a cuppa and promptly fell back asleep again until 9. However, that is not a patch on either of my kids, who still have not shown their faces yet today. I can hear a bit of movement upstairs though.
    It's colder today - frost for the first time in ages so we're all snuggled in together (me and some cats) under blankets and resisting the heating until the kids are up and about.
    I am feeling much better today than I have done all holiday - I don't know if it's because I'm finally fully rested or because the weather is so much brighter, but I'll take it. It's made me feel like tackling things - hence the new diary.
    I've done a lot of thinking over the past week - which isn't always that helpful to me - about getting on and properly tackling my debts. I think I have had a bit of a slow burning second lbm over the run up into Christmas. I mean I knew I couldn't afford my previous lifestyle on just my wage, but I finally got round to fully appreciating that it's the people that are around me that are important and not what we have. I can afford to feed us, clothe us and keep us warm, and the kids were so grateful with what they got for Christmas rather than wanting lots and lots of stuff. And I realised that although I used to like to be away all of the time, these days I'm more than happy in my own home and it's comfortable for me to be here now - unlike when my ex was still here. The realisation that I was constantly going away with the kids to get a break rather than enjoying being away has hit me a bit full on - but it's there.
    My debts are scary to me, but I've fought my way out of this before and I will again. I am in court next week, and whilst I don't think that will be the last time, I do think that it will be finished in the first half of this year. Then I can finally crack on and start dealing with it. I'm not ignoring it by any means but it may still increase more...
    And last but not least me, and my health. When I was at the doctors poorly before Christmas and I had the blood tests she told me that I was doing the best possible things for myself by not smoking or drinking, but I really did need to address my weight (as I am at risk for diabetes). All of my tests have come back clear, so I am very lucky, but I need to do something here. I have a real problem with food - that is my addiction. I can overcome addictions (I gave up smoking 18 years ago, and I am very wary when I do drink alcohol) but food isn't something I seem to be able to do in moderation. The doctor suggested a meal replacement diet to me which I am seriously considering, but I have no clue how I would deal with cravings. I suppose that there are worse things to be addicted to than food, but it will kill me if I don't get the better of it.
    Right. Today's plans = nothing :rotfl: I have 7 rounds of this blanket to try and complete. Can I do it people? Also want to hoover the house right through and get ds to deal with some of the rubbish mountain in his bedroom.
  • crazy_cat_ladycrazy_cat_lady Forumite
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    SSDD23 wrote: »
    Yours is one of many diaries I need to stop lurking on and start posting on - hope the next decade brings wonderful things for you and your family x

    Lurk as long as you like - you're always welcome. Have a fantastic New Year. x
  • edited 31 December 2019 at 12:25PM
    janb5janb5 Forumite
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    edited 31 December 2019 at 12:25PM
    Dear CCL - I`m one of the many ` stalkers` silently willing you on!

    I agree with you that food can be an addiction and I was chastened to see my weight is the same at the end of this year as it was at the beginning......!

    Life for you has been a row of skittles and you knocked so many of them down so now you have a bit of space to look after yourself. I know you`re a teacher so maybe taking food into school rather than paying for the canteen would help?

    You`re certainly much more productive on the blanket front than me- are they squares or chevrons? I do baby shawls but it takes me a while.

    Finally as a happy divorcee myself do give yourself a pat on the back. Dont beat yourself up with the small stuff- you`re doing a sterling job and the children and cats are very proud of you.

    We know it aint easy. Happy New Year xxx
  • beanieloubeanielou Forumite
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    Happy shiny new diary to you.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    MFW. Finally mortgage free February 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
  • ChrystalChrystal Forumite
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    Followed you over to your New Diary CCL and wishing you Everything That's Good for 2020 :A

    You're sounding really upbeat, which is great to see, and you've come such a long way in a short time and hopefully things will soon be on an even keel for you and you will know where you are and what's happening on the financial front. Everything else will fall into place when you finally are able to realise that everything about your life is up to you.... and I have no doubts that you'll take the bull by the horns and achieve it. (((hugs))) XX
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery
    Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.

    happiness isn't achieved by getting extra things,
    but by getting rid of the things that make you unhappy
  • blue_eyed_girl123blue_eyed_girl123 Forumite
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    De-lurking too :), for the eating, have you tried Pinch of Nom, slimming recipes that taste really good. They've got loads that go in the slow cooker too, so much easier to come home to a prepared meal :D
  • BuffythedebtslayerBuffythedebtslayer Forumite
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    Hey up Lovely :) XX

    Good to see you on a new dairy :), when you really take stock of everything you really are amazing and have done brilliantly. I hope you are bloody proud of yourself. XX

    Your day sounds lovely. Enjoy XX
    Nevertheless she persisted.
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
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    I just wanted to pop by and say Hi! When I read this I was struck by the similarity of our situation, I’ve been separated for just over a year due to head down the divorce route next year (which if being honest the process terrifies me!). My target 2020 is also related to health, nothing serious but losing weight and taking better care of myself, I’m going to subscribe, cheer you on and hopefully pick up some tips!!:rotfl:
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • SuffolksueSuffolksue Forumite
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    Cheering you on !

    I have the same problems with food ,have done v well with slimming world in the past ,unable to go at the moment and it’s showing.
    You may know I am caring for my terminally ill husband ,so only on here intermittently.
    Have you tried meal planning ahead and batch cooking

    Wishing you well
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