Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

Eager_Elephant

Hope your time away sorting out exam stuff went well.

12lb - you are some kind of superwoman!! I hope you were able to keep up the healthy eating while away.

crazy_cat_lady

Hey
I know that it's been ages, but this is still going to be a quick one as I have too much marking for the hours in the day at the moment.
London was pretty good as it always is - train there and back was awful stressful. Train tickets cost a lot of money for cancelled services, broken toilets and missing carriages. Three full days of meetings, schmoozing and socialising, 4 different hotel rooms thanks to their rubbish WiFi, which scuppered the whole day I intended to sit in my room and mark - took me four hours and I still couldn't get onto the internet.
Diet was on hold while I was away but the damage didn't look too bad when I weighed in on Friday - hoping that it's mostly water retention :rotfl:
So the next fortnight I will be quiet because I am just solidly marking and teaching, with a bit of sleep in between. I'll check in when I can but to be honest I am taking breaks with the kids when I see them - I missed them loads while I was away and the novelty of being back with them hasn't worn off yet.
Finances are dire and it's not payday until Friday
9 days until the next court appointment. Still don't want to get my hopes up but I am. Unfortunately.

crazy_cat_lady

So. As most of you know I am a terrible overthinker at the best of times. I am also incredibly busy working two jobs at the moment and trying my best to be a decent human being on the grand total of 5.63p in my purse. This is the kind of situation where my brain does a bit of rebellion and keeps me awake at night making up about three billion different scenarios in my head. It's all stuff I have no control over at all anyway, so worrying is a pointless waste of time but the brain is having absolutely none of it.
I have been thinking lots about my finances, and feel guilty at every penny I spend. Even if it's things like food. Which is ridiculous - I earn enough money to keep a roof over my head and feed us all. I have just hit a 3 day cashflow problem, but my brain has blown it out of all proportion.
I am worried about how much debt I have run up again and how I will pay it all off.
I have thinking about next week at court and mulling over the 'what next' scenarios - trying to hope for the best but plan for the worst (as Jack Reacher says). Again something I have no control over at all but is nagging at me constantly.
Things are about to hit the fan at work. We are already short staffed in the department, and two more teachers are leaving between half term and the end of the year. Bearing in mind we cannot recruit anyway, trying to recruit another 2 members of staff seems beyond ludicrous. Anyway, there was a situation a few years ago at work when there was just me and my head of department, plus six supply teachers for a period of about a half term. We worked ourselves to the bone, trying to do the best we could between two of us... and I was constantly knackered and constantly stressed, and we were still told by the head that we were a failing department and what we were doing wasn't good enough. It almost broke me. Lots has changed since then. New Head, at least 4 permanent and stable members of staff (maybe 7), I don't have the home situation etc... However, I know what teaching is like, and I know that not many people are coming into teaching, and especially not science teaching. I know that we have 300 more students in the school than we had before and I am scared of running myself into the ground and still failing the kids.
I don't have any control at all over any of this. So it shouldn't be getting to me - but I really do wish that I could hibernate for a few months...
On the plus side, my kids are amazing - I love my cats, at least I have a job (or two) and I have a roof over my head and enough to eat. And it is only 3 days till payday - I can do this.

beanielou

You can & will do it.

janb5

Insomnia is no respecter of the fact you have to get up early in the morning even when you have had zilch sleep...!

Remember the old adage that anxiety is always worse at night and remember this is 72 hours and you wont starve.

Whatever happens at Court next week this will get better. x

24ta

Delurking,
You can do this, you have come so far, you've got this

wishingthemortgaheaway

Waving those famous Pom poms in your direction. You are doing this.

facethemusic

Hi, I've been reading and lurking, but never post, but I have to comment just to say- you can do this! You seem to have been through a really tough time and you are not just coping, you are living a good life with your kids. Pay day will be here before you know it, you won't let any of your pupils down because you care, and your own kids sound really sorted decent youngsters and that's down to you. Cuddle a cat and try to get some sleep before work tomorrow. We may be strange internet lurkers, but you have people rooting for you.

foxgloves

Well CCL, I think the things to concentrate on are that it's almost payday & it sounds as though the financial settlement from your divorce is hoving into view at last. And ALL insomniac over-thinking (I too have form with this & it is horrible) starts to recede into more manageable worries as soon as we are up & about. Sometimes, I find the worries start to decrease the minute my feet hit the floor. It's that lying in bed feeling like the rest of the world is asleep when you aren't in a practical position to tackle any of the worries that is the problem.
Re worrying about debt. Yes, of course that's going to be a worry. Hopefully you will soon be in a position where you can get a new budget in place for going forward.
My advice now (& feel free to ignore it, of course!) would be to concentrate on not increasing the debt unless it's for absolutely necessary expenditure such as a car repair bill, etc. It hopefully won't be too long now before you will be able to set a realistic budget with regular debt busting targets built in, so an embargo on any non-essential spending (& believe me, I know how easy it is to convince ourselves all sorts of purchases are essential....) will definitely put you in a better position for the New Financial Regime post-settlement. I don't want to sound like I think you're out treating yourselves right, left & centre, not at all, just that I know from long past experience just how regular small amounts seem to become an extra £500 onto overall debt total in the depressing twinkling of an eye.
Roll on a positive court decision next time. This has gone on for too long & hasn't been fair on you & your children.
Stay strong!
F x

f0xh0les

It has been a funny old month moneywise CCL. In my situation, payday is Fri 31st, as is ctc (so glad I opted for weekly payments rather than monthly ones) and child benefit comes in on Monday 3rd. I hate it on months like these, if you get the ChB half way through the month, or the week before payday, you at least know it is coming in and everything is less stress. This time next week I will be financially fine. Currently I have a budget of £2.01 and have only had a fiver since last Friday.


As you know the staff is leaving, can you agree with your HoD which years you want to teach and organise your timetable in advance? and decide which classes to give the supply teachers coming in? Would it help if maybe you decided you were going to prioritise the GCSE years and give them to permanent reliable staff. So you knew what you were doing before it all comes in and you can tell admin before they do the scheduling. Or is it that supply teachers are unreliable and you will be expected to pick up all the slack? and it is just all added stress you could do without? I would use this time to cherry pick all the classes I wanted !!! All lesson 1 and 2, none after lunch, and nothing on Friday unless you have a form group, then you could go home at afternoon registration.

PE lessons would all be after lunch so you could go home afterwards and shower.


Can you see why I am not in a position of authority?:rotfl: The wheels would be off in a week, but morale would be amazing!