Midlife Musings and Measurable Goals

doingitanyway

mark55man said:

bad news indeed, but I'm sure you will find a way to keep on keeping on in support, then you can save a big wobble for after

your relative will appreciate the care you have shown more than you might ever know

maggiem said:

Sorry to hear about the bad news. It's so hard. When I had similar news for a very close relative I really kept expecting someone would say one day, 'oh sorry we made a mistake'. Glad to hear you and your sister are supporting each other. Hugs.

another_casualty said:

So sorry to hear DIA 
I echo the nice thoughtful posts above , but the only thing to add is that believe it or not this will make you stronger . You are made of strong stuff anyway , and  life is crap a lot of the time . You have done a lot to plan your path ahead , and are still doing so . Time is the healer here imho and with so much going on , eventually you will get some sort of stability and  manage everything even better in the future .  

Your mini goals in the meantime so to speak , will hopefully take your mind off for a while and keep you focused and help you remain calm . 

You're taking everything on the chin and not falling down . Keep going ..

jwil said:

Very sorry to hear about your relative. xx

savingholmes said:

Sorry things are tough with your relative. Hugs.

MovingForwards said:

I'm so sorry DIA sending virtual hugs 💐

Mrs_Boo_Boo said:

Hi there DIA,
Been catching up on your diary since last month. How time flies!!
Hope you are enjoying the bank holiday weekend. 
Sorry to hear about your relative. Not much to say to make anything feel better for you, but sending you kind wishes. Not a great time.
Keep looking for your new home. You will find it eventually and it will feel right. Very odd and nothing much to put your finger on. The pantry was my winner (only a small room with shelves plus the washing machine and a freezer) and my friend's was the fireplace, but it felt right for us. 
Been working a bit more on the flexi bank. Usually do one long day 7:30-8:00. It sounds long, but it is always busy and I actually don't feel that bad afterwards. I think it's because it is all consuming while I am there and I can leave it when I go. Different dynamic too working on the bank as I am in charge of what I do and where I go. Plus it is totally different to my regular job. The money really helps too and I feel liberated in that respect. 
Anyway thinking of you. 
Best wishes 
xxx

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

I'm sorry about your relative too DIA. Life can be very hard sometimes, but whoever said it makes you stronger is correct, it also makes you more humble and more appreciative of the people you still have.

Seasidegal58 said:

I am so sorry to hear your news DIA. I'm glad to hear that you and your sister are supporting one another.
x

Thank you all for your kind messages, advice and support X

doingitanyway

I haven’t posted for a while. Ups and downs with having a sick relative. They told us she had 2 weeks but she is still fighting although she accepts if she has an incident they will not bring her back. We are all a bit drained but on we all go

I had a call from a neighbour as my post including financial post is still going to my old address. My neighbour will keep the post and I will go over next week. I am so glad I stayed on good terms with my neighbours despite them annoying me over their extension.  I called my bank and arranged not to send any letters or statements for a year. I will also submit a complaint to the PO who I paid to redirect my post to avoid situations like this.

Financially I am doing ok and remain out of debt. My spending could do with trimming but I am not going to push it as life is stressful. My aim is to stay out of debt and spend with awareness. I have a veg box fortnightly that is not good value but it helps me eat better so it stays. I stupidly forgot to cancel a veg box from another scheme that went to my old address!  

I cooked a lovely veggie curry today. I used the cauliflower leaves too as they looked nice. Never used them before but they were very tasty and MSE too

House hunting? Keeping my eyes peeled and despite prices increasing I am not panicking. I’ve seen a house that is ideally placed but is over budget. It has been on a while and I can sort of see why as it is old fashioned and needs an update, but I can see beyond that.  I called the estate agent and told him my budget and asked whether it was worth looking. He said yes, so going to view next week. It will be nice to have a non hospital day.

I got an extension on my project work so will need to get focused on that.

The good news is my joints are muscles are in a good place. There are 18 flights of stairs at the hospital (relative on top floor) and I make a point of walking up every visit. At first it hurt but now it doesn't and I have fewer rests. I also do a daily walk to take a relative to nursery through the park and that is 40 minutes. 

Despite everything I am doing ok

Seasidegal58

Sending hugs re your relative and will be thinking of you. 

You are doing fantastically well walking up all those flights of stairs plus your daily walk as well.  I'm pleased to hear that it seems to be having a beneficial effect on your joints. 

I'm going to use cauli leaves in dishes in future. I've just got round to chopping up and using the big broccoli stems in curries, etc.  Don't know why I didn't do this before!
Re the financial post - could you set everything to paperless rather than receiving through the post?
Sending positive vibes for the house viewing. 

doingitanyway

Seasidegal58 said:

Sending hugs re your relative and will be thinking of you. 

You are doing fantastically well walking up all those flights of stairs plus your daily walk as well.  I'm pleased to hear that it seems to be having a beneficial effect on your joints. 

I'm going to use cauli leaves in dishes in future. I've just got round to chopping up and using the big broccoli stems in curries, etc.  Don't know why I didn't do this before!
Re the financial post - could you set everything to paperless rather than receiving through the post?
Sending positive vibes for the house viewing. 

Thanks SSG58 ( I think you missed my post on your diary?)
I have set to paperless as you said.
I think maybe the muscles supporting my leg joints get stronger when I walk more even if sometimes it is painful.
I love broccoli stems in curries too

Sunshine_girl2

Sorry to hear of your relative , I am glad you have your sister for support . I guess at the moment the house hunting is on the back burner as you are busy going to and from the hospital. 

Fingers crossed though that this house you are viewing may be the one. 

Keeping yourself fit and eating well is much needed at the moment to keep you going on your busy schedule. 

Enjoy Sunday . 

another_casualty

Annoying about the Royal Mail .
I'd say the best way to deal with them is via email , as on the phone it can be nigh on impossible . There's probably a link on their redirection page to complain . Yes , well done on keeping friendly with your neighbour . My last flat got sold a few weeks ago. Sometime last year , my other neighbour ( who is a piano teacher 🎹) put her flat up for sale for a few weeks and changed her mind . I had no problems with her playing the piano for long periods but it may have not pleased others . 

I think you're right to not to worry too much about spending etc in your present situation , and I think that you should have the odd coffee too ☕️

Regarding the stairs : you are doing a tremendous job there 
I was commenting to my friend on Friday that I hadn't worked in a proper environment with stairs since 2006 . All glass buildings or companies who work on the top floor etc . Stairs are something I find that are taken for granted , or used to be . Most prefer to run down then rather than walk up them 🥵.
Anyway, I'm rambling , but hope that things stay manageable as you are doing really well.
I'll leave it there ..😼

Chrystal

Sending loving thoughts to you and yours.  (((hugs))) XXX

beanielou

So impressed re the stairs.
Shocking re post.
So sorry about your relative.  

doingitanyway

Thanks @Sunshine_girl2 I agree keeping fit and healthy is so important for me right now. It will help me cope! 
House searching is on the back burner but I am still looking. I might even take some time away once my relative no longer needs me and go abroad for 6/12 months and look for a home on my return as I can do my project work from anywhere in theory. A thought that keeps recurring for me...

Thanks @another_casualty. It sounds weird but I do better with exercise that feels like it has a point, plus the small lifts don't allow social distancing and are stuffy with stale air as they are used constantly.

Thanks @Chrystal for the loving vibes

Thanks @beanielou I also find the RM delivering my letters to strangers shocking and negligent

Yesterday I had trouble sleeping so I completed the complaint to the RM. No point me worrying about possible fraud so trying to let it go. Going to my other bank today to stop all paper statements and letters.

I have done the nursery run and my 40 minute walk. I'm going to the hospital this morning and laundrette when I get back! I hope your day is a bit more exciting than mine

doingitanyway

Ate a HMRC frog after a 57 minute wait!