Family of 4, paying back £50k in 4 years whilst trying to live eco friendly

Isitdoable

Came to read your diary Missymoo, and sorry to see that things are so hard for you.  All I can say, is that you will get through, and for me, when finances are very tough (and they have been VERY tough at points, including right now), I just think about all the things I have that money can't buy - like health, and my children.  And how money, is just that - money.  You will get through it.

I sympathise on the OH being crap with money - mine is terrible, he buries his head in the sand, and I deal with everything, but its the easier option for me!  I just give him an allowance (a tiny one!).  Luckily, he is fantastic in every other way - just absolutely awful with money!!

missymoo81

Isitdoable said:

Came to read your diary Missymoo, and sorry to see that things are so hard for you.  All I can say, is that you will get through, and for me, when finances are very tough (and they have been VERY tough at points, including right now), I just think about all the things I have that money can't buy - like health, and my children.  And how money, is just that - money.  You will get through it.

I sympathise on the OH being crap with money - mine is terrible, he buries his head in the sand, and I deal with everything, but its the easier option for me!  I just give him an allowance (a tiny one!).  Luckily, he is fantastic in every other way - just absolutely awful with money!!

Thank you so much for posting. I really appreciate it. I know we’ll get through it, well I hope so, the word divorce has been chucked around a couple of times already. 

missymoo81

Does anyone know someone who would know about driving points and Bans etc? As I really don’t know.

Chrystal

Can't help with any info, hopefully someone else will be able to, but sending you ((((hugs))))
I understand your anger, but taking it out on each other doesn't achieve anything.  X

missymoo81

Thanks Chrystal yes I know, it’s just really hard at the moment.

Suffolk_lass

Sending you virtual hugs. DH has written off two of our cars in the last 15 years. I won't go into details but quite a big hit. Your OH will be feeling terrible. Try and have a hug together and speak rationally about how to deal with the impact. You are strong. You will cope and you are a couple - better together than apart. My experience is that it does not help if you make him feel worse (or like a naughty child). Vent on here and to your friend, then you get on with it with him.

PM me about points if you want to. I have some knowledge

missymoo81

Suffolk_lass said:

Sending you virtual hugs. DH has written off two of our cars in the last 15 years. I won't go into details but quite a big hit. Your OH will be feeling terrible. Try and have a hug together and speak rationally about how to deal with the impact. You are strong. You will cope and you are a couple - better together than apart. My experience is that it does not help if you make him feel worse (or like a naughty child). Vent on here and to your friend, then you get on with it with him.

PM me about points if you want to. I have some knowledge

Thanks lovely I really appreciate it. Have just had a quick chat with OH he’s still v woe is me, which is as to be expected. He doesn’t want to get out of bed.

Me and May went to Lidl as she’s off school, she’s perfectly fine but we have to stay off school for 2 days. But Lidl was shut! So we went to Tesco. We got the bits we needed and lot of cat food. As it was actually in stock. I think I spent £15 but need to check the receipt. May was great at helping me save the environment and we bought as much as we could without plastic, it cost a little more, but we bought less so worked out cheaper. 

I’ve noticed I’m an emotional spender, I’ve bought a firestick and the shelves we needed but I was saving up for. I know I shouldn’t have as I need to save all the money I can. But these are things we need and I think I just need to feel in control of something. Feel like I’ve let myself down. Going to spend the rest of the day cleaning and sorting and making everything tidy and nice. Then I need to do dvla thing as should have done that last week. And then see how much money I have left for the month. I imagine it’s about £0. 

db2016

i'm big in the classic car side of things, and know a fair bit on the naughty side of driving,, feel free to PM

missymoo81

Hi, sorry I’ve been MIA, just getting head around things. I still need to sort bank out etc, but feel a lot more positive, have been reading Elishebo’s diary which has really helped and given me some good ideas. Managed to actually workout yesterday and going again today which has really helped my mental state. OH is in a much better place. He want to an old friend/work colleagues funeral yesterday which put a lot of things into perspective for him and he’s much like his old self. We’re still waiting for the letter re driving points etc. 

Need to go to Tesco and pick up mince as the mince we had I got out of the freezer Monday but had no appetite so it never got eaten. Very annoying so a spend of £1.55 on that today. 

Need to pay ASC £60 and I think we’re going to Costa later but I will set a budget, it’s all been refurbished and I told the children we could go when it was open. 

I’ve got lots more to write but no time as I’m not ready to go and I’ve got 20 minutes before I need to leave. Will update later. But thanks so much for reading I’ve really appreciated your comments etc x

jwil

Sorry to hear things are tough.  I have every sympathy with you, my DH has had an occasion like that as well with driving.  PM if you want to vent. xx