Dealing with Debt and Depression.

gilligansyle

Lucy, you've agonised over that decision for weeks, I remember reading it on another thread. Sometimes you just have to walk away. Yes, he feels hurt. He's a man. They don't really do thinking. But by carrying on you were just prolonging the agony. I had something similar a while back, wasn't sure where it was going etc. but didn't say anything. It tore me up, but then he decided the same thing and I was gutted!

Have a hug:grouphug:

Keeping_Positive

Hi Lucy, I wondered where you were.

You know you have done the right thing, it wasnt meant to be. The short term pain is much better than stringing it out. It would have ended at somepoint.

Lots of :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:.

Good luck with the interview.

Lucy1982_2

Thanks

Sorry I've not been around, I've had a lot one with one thing and another! I do feel like I have made the right decision and know that it's for the best, I am not being unhappy for anyone. I am learning!

I'm going to have a fun day with Mum (shopping with vouchers and a pub lunch) although I have the need to buy really nice high heels (I have no idea why!) which I will try to resist!

I feel in a way like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

twinklie

Glad your feeling so positive Lucy! Yey you!

cazjenki

I have suffered with depression since having the kids. I started taking medication approx 6 years ago. Anyway since then I have been married, divorced, and now I am just starting BR. The new centuary has been nothing but one hurdle after another. I am still taking medication and can't seem to get off it, everytime I lower it because things seem good I go back to being anxious. I can't beleive what a mess my life is but I just need to get over this BR and start a fresh.

Keeping_Positive

Dont try and rush off medication. It may be part physcological when reducing the meds you fear the worst so start getting anxious. I would concentrate on the BR and your family and not on how many pills you need.

You have had a tough few years that would take its toll on anyone so please feel free to come on here and vent any frustration etc. Lots of ((((((hugs))))))

cazjenki

Thanks wendy, hopefully I will have learnt this time, its just because i feel so much better on them I think, I must be better now, and then end up in a right state,it sounds crazy really. I've been going through a program with the dr to come off them but I am gonna have to stay on them now, your right I need to concentrate on me and the kids. I thought I was doing ok until CAB mentioned going BR and it was the depression hit me like a bus.

Lucy1982_2

Hi Caz

You will get there and only come off the meds if you think you are really ready. We all need a bit of extra support from time to time.

Try not to think of BR as the end but as the beginning of you wonderful brand new life, you have a new start and that is something to be excited by. We are here if ever you need us.

xx

Keeping_Positive

Doesnt sound crazy at all. Anyone thats had the dreaded D word wants it to be over and they will think after a few days/weeks that they are fine, myself included several times!. Its a horrible thing to live with and to be honest, you are always likely to have it in the background but you will learnt to deal with it. Things will get better. With all these horrible things happening at the moment its no wonder you might feel its a losing battle.

I dont want to scare you so sorry if I have. Just remember you have beautiful kids and bankrupcy is not the end of the world.

vmf199

Hello

I've only just seen this post and only read a few of posts so sorry to repeat or if I've missed stuff.
I've suffered with depression for about 6 years and finally believe I'm turning a corner.
I found things that helped, were to list things and think of ideas that I could do when feeling crap, things that were free (phoning a friend, having a bath - I had ALOT of baths!, going for a walk, listening to a meditation tape, doing a jigsaw puzzle) and things that cost a little more etc, recorded good TV programmes to save for later etc. And also lowered my expectations of myself, this last year my only goals have been to find a good therapist and stick with therapy and not spend more than I earn. By setting small goals it's more likely to achieve them and that helps spur onto more goals. I've found the money goals really good as they don't involve feeling sociable or anything. I've managed to pay off overdraft and am working on credit card.
Also I found it good just write my achievements each day even if it was I had a shower or put a clothes wash in or tidied my room or cooked a healthy meal, i counted them all as acheivements.

My problem at the mo is that I'm thinking of getting in touch with old friends whom I've pushed away during depression now that I'm begining to feel better but I don't feel I can afford a social life at the mo, and a few of my old friends are flash gits who never have to worry about money. I'm not sure I want the pressure of constantly having to say no to meals out etc or turn down their offers to pay. Any suggestions much welcomed.

Sorry to go on, but I also found a local depression support group a life saver. It's wonderful to go out once a week and be with people who totally understand and have been through or are going through similar things. I found it very hard to go out with 'happy' people, I found it made me feel more depressed. It's great to be with depressed people and vent and laugh about useless GP's, waiting lists, costs of therapy etc etc.

Good luck to all those sufferring with depression
best wishes